Ask for a few jokes that can break your belly.

A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient, What would you do if I cut off one of your ears?

The patient replied, then I can't hear you.

The doctor listened: mm-hmm. It is normal.

The doctor asked again, what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again?

The patient replied, then I won't watch it.

The doctor is getting nervous. How could he not see it?

The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off.

There are two mental patients. They escaped from the hospital.

They run and run. They climbed a tree.

One of them jumped from the tree.

Go away, go away.

Then he looked up and said to the man above, hey-why don't you come down?

The man above answered him: no-good-ah-

I'm not familiar with it.

(4)

There is an old lady in a mental hospital.

Wear black clothes and hold a black umbrella every day.

Squatting in front of a mental hospital.

The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her.

So the doctor was dressed in black, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her.

The two spent a month in silence.

The old lady finally spoke to the doctor:

Excuse me-

Are you a mushroom, too

(5)

When a mental hospital heard that the leader was coming to the hospital to inspect the situation, the dean called a meeting of the patients in the hospital at the meeting. The dean said, "This afternoon, a very important leader is coming to visit, and everyone is going to meet him at the door. When welcoming, all patients should stand on both sides of the hospital gate and stand neatly. When I cough, everyone should clap together. The more enthusiastic the better; When I stamp my foot, I have to stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready, I can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, no one will eat steamed buns, remember? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!"

This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the welcoming patient was already standing at the door. At this time, with the dean's cough, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. The visiting leader was infected by the warm atmosphere, smiled and applauded with everyone and entered the hospital. Seeing the leader enter the hospital, the dean stamped his foot, and the applause stopped completely, very neatly. Only the leaders are still smiling and applauding.

Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger jumped out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily, "You don't want to eat steamed bread?" ! ! ! "

(6)

Mental patient A stole the phone book from the nurse's office and went back to the ward. He asked B, "What do you think of the novel I recently finished?" ?

B looked at it and replied, "Not bad. However, there are more characters. " .

Then the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me!" " "

(7)

The doctor in the mental hospital wants to talk to a mental patient who is about to leave the hospital to confirm whether the patient has fully recovered.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

Patient: smash all the windows in your hospital with stones.

When the doctor heard this, he found that the patient had not fully recovered, so he decided to continue the treatment. How many patients have passed away?

A few months later, the doctor felt that the patient seemed ready to leave the hospital and decided to talk to him again.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

Patient: Get a job.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Making money.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Save money.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Marry a wife.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: The bridal chamber.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her clothes.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her pants.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her underwear.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take out the rubber band in your underwear, make a slingshot and find some stones to smash all the windows in your hospital.

(8)

Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, recovered at the same time. Their attending doctor said to them, "If one of you is ill, the other one will take him to the hospital at once."

Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It turned out to be Mr. A: "Great, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning." "Come on, send him here quickly!" A gentleman was silent for a moment: "So … I don't have a toilet?"