A little joke about language

Yesterday I went to Xtep with my classmates and bought a pair of shoes. I asked my friend what it felt like to wear them. He smiled and said, Xtep is an extraordinary feeling! I was knocked down by the door frame as soon as I went out! Welcome to enjoy the encyclopedia of language jokes!

A complete collection of language jokes (1) 1. A man saw that his son refused to study hard, so he enlightened him with stories of the ancients who were eager to learn.

He said:? In ancient times, there was a man named Sun Kang whose family was very poor. He had no money to buy oil to light a lamp, so he studied by the light of snow and later became a great scholar. You should learn from the ancients. ?

The son nodded and said, I remember. ?

One day later, he came to his son's room and saw him staring out of the window. He was very angry and asked, why don't you study?

The son replied:? I am waiting for the snow. ?

My son is afraid of eating green vegetables, so his mother has to eat a little bit of both hard and soft for every meal.

Mom said:? Children need to eat more green vegetables to grow taller. ?

The son said:? Vegetables are not as tall as me! ?

The mother gave her son 100 yuan to pay for the book homework at school.

As a result, the school did not accept it that day. After school, my son saw a snack seller on the roadside and bought three yuan to eat. When he got home, his mother asked. Did you pay?

Son:? Confiscated today. ?

Mom:? Oh, where is the money?

Son:? Here you are. ?

Mom:? Why are there 97 left?

Son:? I lost three dollars when I came back. ?

Dad and daughter were watching TV when they suddenly interrupted an advertisement, which had not been broadcast for five minutes. It kept repeating, only the daughter pressed it? Mute? Key, while saying:? You can't talk, can you? Strangle you! ! ?

A complete collection of language jokes (2) 1. When the child came back from school for the first time, his father asked him if he liked going to school. The child said:? I like going to school, I prefer to leave school, but I don't like the middle class. ?

Grandpa Obana was watching TV together when a helicopter appeared on the screen.

? It must be cool on the helicopter. ? Xiaohua said to grandpa.

? Grandpa asked how you knew.

? It must be nice to have such a big electric fan. ?

3. son:? Dad, did you have a name before? Naughty? Huh?

Father:? Naughty? Who said that?

Son:? In class today, the teacher said me in front of the whole class? Naughty boy? ! ?

4, married outside, my son saw it and told me.

Son: Mom, everyone has to marry a new wife. Why don't we get married? Mom: Get married. You can't get married until you grow up.

Son: Dad has grown up. Shall we marry him?

On Friday afternoon, after school in the nursery, a child suddenly shouted:? Auntie! I want to shit! ? Aunt said:? Grab it! Go back and pull?

When the child comes home, he shouts: Mom, I want to shit! ? Mom said:? Damn it, why don't you finish at the nursery and go home? ?

6. A housewife is very tired after a day's work. She took a sip of the wine and then went to put her little daughter to bed.

? Mom? The girl said listlessly,? How do you use dad's perfume?

On the way, I heard two pupils singing after school:

? I found 10 yuan on the roadside and gave it to the handsome webmaster. The handsome boy took the money and nodded to me. I am happy to say, rushing to become a member? .

2. Granddaughter will pester her grandmother to sing to him before going to bed every night.

That night, my granddaughter cried for music.

Grandma really had no choice but to follow: what song do you want to listen to? Grandma song for you! ?

Granddaughter cocked her head and thought for a moment and said, I want to hear two butterflies! ?

Grandma paused and immediately sang:? Two butterflies, two butterflies, run, run.

One day my son came home and said to his father:? Dad, the school will charge for eggs and milk. This is a notice. ?

Father came without reading the notice:? Well, this school charges more and more. You have been weaned for a long time. How can I charge for weaning?

Dad takes his son to the market.

Son: Dad, why do those people touch the cow's waist and pat the cow's ass?

Dad: They are people who want to buy cattle.

A few days later.

Son: Dad, the uncle in the backyard wants to buy his mother.

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