Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Before and after the villain succeeded
Before and after the villain succeeded
Xia Yan is a genius. He is not only eloquent, but also good at writing such propositional compositions. Such people are inseparable from Jiajing. And another Gu who can write green characters (Yan Song won the imperial examination in the same year) is a person who doesn't understand politics. Although he entered the cabinet, he can't compare with it at all.
So around, Yan Song still has no chance.
But God won't close one door, he will open another. After thinking hard, Yan Song finally found another way to win.
Wise men have wise men's ideas, fools have fools' methods. Yan Song is not stupid, but to deal with Xia Yan, he can only use the most stupid way-hard.
It doesn't matter if you don't write well, just write more. From then on, Yan Song was insatiable from morning till night, and at the age of 60, he kept writing every day. Even if the quality of the article is not up to standard and rejected, he is never discouraged. His extremely enthusiastic service attitude left a deep impression on Mr. Jiajing.
Whether it is done well is a question of ability, and whether it is done well is a question of attitude. Relatively speaking, Xia Yan is a person with a very bad attitude, and it is two things that make Jiajing determined to punish Xia Yan.
On one occasion, Jiajing got up a little late and delayed going to court. When he looked back to count the number of people, he found that Xia Yan was not there. He asked the following ministers: where did Xia Shoufu go?
Unexpectedly, there is no answer below.
Later, a eunuch told him privately that Xia Yan had been here before. I heard that he didn't appear in court, didn't even say hello, and went home to sleep.
Jiajing is crazy. It's not good for you to leave early when I'm late!
What made them completely break away was the famous "Fragrant Leaf Crown" incident.
Jiajing believed in Taoism, but Xia Yan was an atheist. Every time Jiajing discusses Taoism with him, Xia Yan falls asleep. Over time, Jiajing also felt bored and didn't want to talk to him again.
But the problem is that although this person does not believe in the Tao, he can write in green. In Jiajing's view, the poor quality of the manuscript will offend the immortal, and when the immortal is angry, his report on the immortal will not be approved.
This is really a matter of life and death, so every time Jiajing always sits patiently and urges Xia Yan, but Xia Yan always ignores it, either does not write or handles errands, which makes Jiajing very unhappy.
It is brave enough to drag the emperor's manuscript, but it is not enough to prove Xia Yan's courage. He has done bolder things.
In order to show his piety, Jiajing does not wear the golden crown of the emperor every time he goes to work, but wears the fragrant leaf crown of the Taoist priest. In addition, he specially made five fragrant leaf crowns for himself and gave them to his closest ministers.
Xia Yan got one, but never wore it.
Jiajing didn't care at first, but he waited around and never saw Xia Yan change his hat. He can't help but ask:
"Where is the hat I gave you last time?"
"Still at home."
"Why don't you wear it?"
"I am a court minister, how can I wear that kind of thing? ! "
Jiajing turned pale, and he stared at Xia Yan awkwardly.
But Xia Feng doesn't seem willing to stop there:
"In my opinion, I hope your majesty will not wear this kind of thing in the future. The ruler of the world should have the dignity of the son of heaven and look at it. "
This hurts my self-esteem. It really hurts self-esteem.
You know, this thing is not beautiful, but it was made by Mr. Jiajing himself, and it is the crystallization of his labor and sweat. Xia Yan not only refused, but also taught him a lesson, which was really unacceptable.
So he was angry:
"I don't need you here, get out of the palace at once!"
Xia Yan replied like this:
"If I want to leave the palace, I must personally order it (provided there is a purpose)!"
Then he strode away with a smile, leaving only the emperor trembling with anger.
At this point, it is impossible not to turn against each other, but at this critical moment of contradiction between monarch and minister, Yan Song appeared.
One of the five incense crowns was for Yan Song, but his performance was completely different from that of Xia Yan. Because Mr. Yan has no principles, he naturally doesn't want to face up. He not only wore a fragrant leaf crown, but also specially covered it with a layer of green yarn to show that he never forgot the kindness of his leader.
Jiajing was very happy and especially praised Yan Song.
Yan Song is a native of Xia Yan, and their relationship has always been very good. After Xia Yan developed, he took care of Yan Song out of the friendship of fellow villagers.
But he gradually discovered that Yan Song is a person who likes speculation and has no moral concept. As long as he can achieve his goal, he will do whatever it takes to get around it.
Xia Yan, who is strong and upright, hates this behavior. Although Yan Song respected him very much, he bowed early and bowed late, but he looked down on this man more and more.
A servile person, no matter how flattering and shameless, will never be respected even if he is trusted in the end.
Xia Yan saw through Yan Song and hated what he had done. I just hope this person can go as far as possible.
However, Yan Song doesn't seem to care. He knows very well that he is a subordinate of Xia Yan. However, he can't turn his face now. In order to ease the relationship between them, he decided to invite Xia Yan to dinner.
Xia Yan received an invitation. He thought for a moment and agreed.
At the appointed time, the food was served, but no one moved the chopsticks-because Xia Yan hasn't arrived yet.
Yan Song said, I'm going to have a midnight snack. I invited myself.
He came to Xia Yan's mansion, and the doorman told him that Xia Yan was not here.
This is a bluff and a deliberate loss of face. Yan Song's entourage began to talk loudly and vent their dissatisfaction. However, Yan Song is very calm. He waved and went back to his home.
Facing the chilly banquet and the mocking eyes of all the guests, Yan Song picked up the invitation to the banquet.
He knelt down, read Xia Yan's name, read the original invitation from beginning to end, and finally shouted:
"I am ashamed that I can't do what the host and guest want!"
After the performance, he stood up, ignored everyone's amazing eyes, walked to the front of the banquet and began to eat.
I lost face today, and I must make you pay twice the price in the future!
Black shape
In Xia Yan's view, Yan Song is an unprincipled clown, an insignificant villain.
That's true. After that meal, Yan Song remained the same, fawning on him blindly, and Xia Yan looked down on him as always.
But Xia Yan's point of view is only half right, because villains are never insignificant. They can do many things, such as complaining.
One day in June in the 21st year of Jiajing (1542), Yan Song met Jiajing after Xia Yan retired from the DPRK.
In front of the emperor, he changed his old kindness, and at the age of 63, he neatly completed a series of prescribed items such as dressing, bowing down, kowtowing, etc., with slow and compact movements and high attainments.
Then he burst into tears and shouted:
"I was bullied by Xia Yan. I hope your majesty will make a decision! "
Although it seems that he can't help crying, it is commendable that Yan Song's thinking is clear and his logic is strict. One by one, he complained about Xia Yan's outrageous behavior, and his face was full of tears.
However, he talked for a long time, but the emperor above was bitter. He just smiled at his performance and was not angry.
Jiajing is an extremely clever man. He always treats the contradiction between ministers as a joke. It's not easy to use him as a gun.
But Yan Song didn't panic, he was ready. Although the man sitting on it is very clever and extremely difficult to deal with, he also has his own weaknesses. As long as he says so, he will listen!
"Xia Yan despises your majesty, despises what the royal government gives. It is a heinous crime! "
This is the end of Yan Song's black modeling. Although it is short, it is very concise. Because the so-called royal gift is the fragrant leaf crown.
So Jiajing became angry. It doesn't matter if he bullied Yan Song. Not listening to yourself is a serious political problem. He immediately wrote a letter reprimanding Xia Yan.
Of course, the basis of the condemnation is not to refuse to wear a fragrant leaf crown, but "the military attaches importance to matters, makes decisions privately, and keeps secrets from the king, which is regarded as a joke!"
The whole thing is you, but you don't need any reason.
Jiajing was manipulated by his puppet, which was the first time since he came to power, but unfortunately it was not the last time. Ministers have become familiar with his playing routine. Soon, several heavyweights smarter than him will play, and the development of things is completely out of control.
Xia Yan, who was scolded by the emperor, was afraid. He hastily wrote a letter to confess his crime, but to no avail. After half a month, he was demoted to Weimin, and Yan Song joined the cabinet.
Objectively speaking, Yan Song has no political talent. Compared with Xia Yan, he lacks the ability to deal with political affairs, but he is not without merit. He has two skills far superior to ordinary people-flattery and touching people's hearts.
Since he joined the cabinet in August in the 21st year of Jiajing (1542), he has been in the minister's duty room (Xiyuan) every day. It is said that he set a record of not going home for a week without taking a bath, but strangely, his subordinates never seem to see him do anything good to innovate and reform bad politics. Then why did you stay there all day?
The answer is simple. It doesn't matter if the subordinates can't see it. As long as the leaders can see it (Jiajing lives in Xiyuan), muddling along, drinking tea and playing cards, as long as they sit in the office every day and show the emperor a familiar face, there is no worry about no future.
This move is very effective. The emperor was moved by Comrade Yan Song's insistence on drinking tea and sitting on the bench. He specially attached a seal, wrote the words "loyalty, diligence and sensitivity" and awarded it to Prince Taifu (from a product) in recognition.
In addition to respecting leaders, Comrade Yan Song spared no effort to suppress colleagues and carry out moving work. At that time, there were four cabinet members, besides Yan Song, there were old comrades Zhai Luan (records) who came earlier than him, Zan Xu, the official department minister, and Zhang Bi, the official department minister who joined the cabinet at the same time. Yan Song is not in charge.
But Comrade Yan Song has an idea. He first ordered officials to scold Zhai Luan, and then neatly monopolized the power. Zan Xu and Zhang Bi have been in the cabinet for more than a year, and they haven't even touched the pen of the ticket. In a rage, they simply left it alone.
For Yan Song, this is like a duck to water, but he must set up a memorial arch and write to the emperor several times, saying that there are few people in the cabinet now, hoping to find more people to join it. I must not be arbitrary.
Jiajing was very moved. He immediately wrote to praise Yan Song, appointed him as an official, a university student and a young master, and made it clear that you can do it alone, and I trust you!
It's usually like this.
It should be said that Xia Yan's main purpose of playing politics and mastering the North Korean regime is to govern the country, while Yan Song's purpose is much simpler. He plays so many tricks just for his hobby-corruption and bribery.
Yan Song never believed that he was good or I was good, and he didn't care about others, as long as he was comfortable. With this lofty ideal, he has made outstanding achievements in the anti-corruption front.
At that time, the discipline inspection officials (the censor of Duchayuan) had a fixed task every year-to select the annual ranking of corrupt figures, and all the people on the list had specific data support and made it public.
Comrade Yan Song has been on the list every year since he joined the cabinet, and he will be the first on the list. What is even more rare is that even the Duchayuan in Nanjing rated him as the first corrupt person and reported him to the court every year.
Although he won this honor, Yan Song didn't panic, because he knew very well that Jiajing never cared whether he was greedy or not, but only cared whether he was obedient.
That's true. Although impeachment memorials come and go, Yan Song has always stood firm.
However, the situation has gradually changed.
Yan Song finally made the mistake made by his predecessor-acting arbitrarily.
When all the power is concentrated in his hands, great power and respect will attack him, and the 60-year-old man can't adapt at all. Whenever he saw the smoky room in the West Garden and thought of the emperor who ignored national politics and devoted himself to monasticism, a feeling would arise:
I am the one who controls this empire.
When this feeling was reflected in his behavior, he began to become overbearing and arrogant, and he no longer reported something to the leader. In the eyes of ministers, the old man has replaced the Taoist priest and become the real leader of the country.
However, he underestimated the strength of Taoist priests. In the chanting and the smoke from the blast furnace, his eyes were still firmly fixed on Yan Song's back.
In the 24th year of Jiajing (1545), in December, Jiajing suddenly summoned Yan Song to Xiyuan. When the records of Yan Song swaggered into the temple, His Majesty smiled and introduced another person to him, and told Yan Song that this person would take your place and become the records. I hope you will continue to do well, because from now on, your identity is the second assistant of the cabinet, so you should pay attention to the team.
Jiajing, as always, smiled brilliantly. Yan Song didn't laugh, nor did the lucky one who should have cheered, because he was Xia Yan.
It's not too late for a gentleman to take revenge. It seems that Xia Yan is still lucky. It only took him three years and five months.
If Xia Yan only despised Yan Song before, now he has finally found the real enemy.
Since then, Yan Song, the second cabinet assistant, has never seen any documents, because Xia Yan's records have taken away all his power, and he has no right to ask about the drafting and signing of any vote. In just one month, he became an idle official.
But this is only the beginning, and a bigger storm is about to unfold.
Soon after, officials of the central ministries and commissions were informed that in order to reasonably match the personnel structure, large-scale changes should be made according to their usual performance, which made people panic for a time.
After the adjustment, what should be withdrawn should be withdrawn, and what should be promoted should be promoted, and everyone will understand that there is a substitution above.
Xia Yan happy, Japanese, he replaced Yan Song's minions, put on his own men, unscrupulous.
Before getting rid of the enemy leader, we must get rid of all the periphery and helpers. This is our traditional wisdom, and so is the so-called mixing sand and digging people.
Xia Yan thought what he did was right, and in fact it was, but he made a fatal mistake in execution.
He did an excellent job.
He punished everyone who had relations with Yan Song, and spared no one. This abuse gradually isolated him, and what's more, he offended a group of eunuchs who could never be offended.
It is natural for Jiajing to treat eunuchs as slaves, but Xia Yan also treated eunuchs as slaves, which was really a mistake on the dock. Every time eunuchs come to the palace to do business, they don't even give people saliva to drink, and sometimes they have to give people a few words to correct their words and deeds. Never treat yourself as an outsider.
You know, eunuchs are not popular in Jiajing Dynasty, but they are still people around the emperor. Over time, Xia Yan's reputation among eunuchs became worse and worse.
Relatively speaking, Yan Song is much smarter. He knows very well that leaders can't offend, nor can secretaries around them. So every time the eunuch came home, Gao Qian, 60, offered his seat and gave him a red envelope before he left. Everyone had a share.
Under the guidance of various eunuch opinions, more and more people scold Xia Yan and praise Yan Song, and the tendency of Jiajing is gradually shifting. For all this, Xia Yan, who is at the peak of his power, doesn't know it.
Generally speaking, Xia Yan is a mature politician, but he also has a fatal shortcoming-aloof.
The closer to the center of power, the fewer friends and the more enemies.
Generally speaking, the only way out of this rule is to pretend to be a grandson. Unfortunately, Xia Yan is resolute and upright, and he really can't pretend to be a grandson. Since Jiajing entered the cabinet in the fifteenth year (1536), his shortcomings have become more and more obvious, his temper has become bigger and bigger, and his mistakes have become more and more serious until his fatal mistake three years later.
But it is gratifying that in recent years, he has done a correct little thing.
A small thing, too small to attract attention, but it was this small thing that not only made him finally win, but also changed the fate of the Ming Dynasty.
In the eighteenth year of Jiajing (1539), the Crown Prince left the throne and stood on his own feet, preparing to develop his own clique and prepare for his succession in the future. Usually, the cabinet is responsible for selecting the personnel of the East Palace, especially Xia Yan.
This is a promising job. No matter tall or thin, as long as you can get in the prince's car, the future is limitless. Therefore, many people are scrambling to tell Xia Yan about human feelings and pay bribes, just asking him to be merciful.
However, the Xia Yan brothers are famous for their carrot and stick, and the above methods are totally ineffective for him. He only chooses those who are really talented.
But when he scanned the list of candidates, he stayed in front of a name for a long time. This is a name that he was familiar with nine years ago. Just a few months ago, his family in Jiangxi wrote a letter to him, cursing the man, saying that he knew he was a relative of Xia when he was in office, but he never helped him. It's really unappreciative.
Xia Yan was also very angry with this disgraced official, so he was recommended to does not long ago, and he refused at that time.
It was a godsend to express personal grievances, but at this critical moment, he hesitated. After long and careful consideration, he made the final decision.
Because he always believes that it is right to insist on integrity and justice.
Xia Yan solemnly filed a pen and wrote this person's name on the shortlist:
Xu Jie.
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