Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - On Poem Essays
On Poem Essays
Xiaoli: No, why? There's nothing wrong with that.
Xiaoling: I mean Xiao Lei, he. ...
Xiaoli: Oh! By the way, since you mentioned it, I remember something was wrong with Xiao Lei today. He usually studies hard, but he always doesn't listen carefully in class today. I don't know what's wrong with him.
Xiaoling: Yes! I asked him, but he didn't say anything, did he? ...
Xiaoli: Cough! There must be something wrong with him.
Xiaoling: But … what's wrong with him?
Xiaoli: Why don't we ask him later?
Xiaoling: No! Just ask Xiao Hu. They are neighbors and usually close. He must know, yo, they're coming.
Tiger and Xiao Lei get on the bus, Xiaoling and Xiaoli hide behind the card.
Tiger: Come on, Lei Lei, cheer up. What's the problem? just ...
(Xiao Lei stops Xiao Hu)
Xiao Lei: Tiger, will you stop talking so loudly? I beg you, didn't you promise to keep it a secret?
Tiger: But … what are you going to do?
Xiao Lei: Hey, I can't help it. I hope I can grow up quickly, so that I can ... ahem! Stop it and let's go!
Tiger: Wait, Xiao Lei, hurry up! Sit down. Look, my father just bought me a Transformers. Can I lend it to you to play? come ..
Xiao Lei: No ... I don't play.
Tiger: Then let's go to my house and play computer games. Hey, my mother just bought me a set of "Three Kingdoms" game, which is quite fun.
Xiao Lei: I'd better not go, Tiger. Sometimes I really envy you.
Tiger: Sorry, Xiao Lei.
(Xiaoling and Xiaoli come out from behind the sign)
Xiao Li: Xiao Lei and Xiao Hu.
Tiger: Why are you here?
Xiaoling: We are waiting for you.
Tiger: Wait for us?
Xiaoli: Yes! Xiao Lei, what happened to your class today? What happened at home?
Tiger: Their family. ...
Xiao Lei: Tiger!
Tiger: Their home is very good, very good.
Xiaoling: No! Xiao Lei and Xiao Hu, we all heard what you just said. There must be something wrong with the family in Xiao Lei! Say it, and all of us will help you!
Xiao Lei: No! Xiaoling, our family is fine, thank you. Tiger, let's go.
Xiaoli: Stop! Xiao Lei, you used to study hard, but recently you've always been absent-minded. I see you play with Xiao Hu all day. He is not good to you.
Tiger: Me ...
Xiao Lei: No! It's not the tiger's fault, it's mine.
Xiaoling: How are you wrong?
Xiao Lei: Me. ...
Xiaoli: Look at the two of them prevaricating. They certainly didn't do anything good!
Tiger: You talk nonsense! This is Xiao Lei's family. ...
Xiao Lei: Tiger!
Tiger: Don't stop me. You'll suffocate me if you don't tell me! Xiaoling, Xiaoli and Xiao Lei's parents are all laid off, and life is very difficult. A few days ago, his mother fell ill and stayed in the hospital for a week. They need surgery now, and their family can't afford it. Xiao Lei's father can't borrow money everywhere. Xiao Lei is worried about his father!
Xiaoling and Xiaoli: Well. ...
Tiger: You don't know, Xiao Lei has been in hospital for two nights. It's good that he still insists on coming to school during the day. At this rate, I'm afraid I won't be able to pay the tuition in Xiao Lei next semester!
Xiaoling: Xiao Lei, why didn't you say so earlier?
Tiger: Xiao Lei is afraid that his classmates will laugh at him!
Xiaoli: How is that possible? Xiao Lei, don't worry, we will help you. There's nothing shameful about parents being laid off! My mother is also a laid-off worker, and our family has opened a restaurant, which makes more money than before. besides ...
Xiao Lei: OK! Students, you understand everything. I should go, too. I have to go to the hospital!
Xiaoling: Wait! Xiao Lei, you still can't help it. Tell you what! I have ten dollars my mother gave me. You can use it first!
Xiaoli: Yes! I still have 20 dollars here.
Tiger: Yes! Why didn't I think of that? Xiao Lei, my grandfather gave it to me. You can have a hundred.
Xiao Lei: Students, I can't take this money.
Xiaoling: Just take it!
Xiaoli: Yes! Even if you borrow ours, don't you pay it back later?
Tiger: Go! Borrow what? This is called sponsorship. Xiao Lei, I'll ask my father to help me again when I get back. He listens to my mother, and my mother listens to me!
Xiaoling: Xiao Lei, take it! I will report it to the teacher tomorrow. We will mobilize all the teachers and students to donate money for you. Anyway, you have to operate on your mother first! Xiao Lei, take it!
Xiao Li and Xiao Hu: Yes! Xiao Lei, take it! Ah! (Music begins)
Xiao Lei: Thank you, students! Thank you! (with a deep bow)
The boy and his tree >:-The boy and his tree in Chinese and English.
A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy likes to play under the tree every day. He climbed to the top of the tree, ate apples and took a nap in the shade ... He loved the tree and the tree liked to play with him. Time goes by ... The little boy grows up, and he no longer plays under the tree every day.
One day, the boy returned to the tree and looked at it.
"Come and play with me," the tree asked the boy.
"I am no longer a child. I don't play under trees anymore." The boy replied:
"I want toys. I need money to buy it. "
"Sorry, I have no money ... but you can pick all my apples and sell them.
So, you will be rich. "The boy was very excited. He snatched all the apples.
The boy never came back after picking the fruit from the tree.
The apple tree is very sad.
One day, the boy came back and the tree was very excited.
"Come and play with me," said the tree.
"I have no time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house.
Shelter. Can you help me? "
"Sorry, I don't have a house. But you can cut off my branches to build a house.
Your house. "So the boy cut off all the branches and left happily.
The tree was glad to see him happy, but the boy never came back.
The tree feels lonely and sad again.
One hot summer, the boy came back and the tree was very happy.
"Come and play with me!" The tree said.
"I'm sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give it to me? "
A boat? "
"Use my truck to build your boat. You can sail and live happily."
So the boy cut off the trunk and made a boat. He went sailing, never.
Appeared for a long time.
Finally, the boy came back after leaving for so many years.
"I'm sorry, my child. But I have nothing to give you anymore. There are no more apples.
Here you are ... "The tree said.
"I have no teeth to bite." The boy replied.
"There are no more trucks for you to climb."
"I am too old now." The boy said.
"I can really give you anything ... the only thing left is my dying roots." this
The tree said with tears.
"I don't need much now, I just need a place to rest. I'm tired after all these years. "
The boy replied.
"good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest. Come, come and sit down.
Come down and rest with me. The boy sat down and the apple tree smiled happily.
Tears ...
This is everyone's story. This tree is our parents. When we were young, we liked playing with our parents ...
When we grow up, we leave them … only when we need something or are in trouble will we return to them.
Anyway, parents will always be there and do their best to make you happy.
You may think that the boy is cruel to trees, but this is the way all of us treat our parents. Time is too slow for those who wait, too fast for those who are afraid, too long for those who are sad, too short for those who are happy, but for those who love, time is eternal.
Once upon a time, there was a huge apple tree.
A little boy likes to play under the tree every day. He climbs trees, eats apples and takes a nap in the shade ... He likes to play with trees, and trees like to play with him.
Time passed quickly and the little boy grew up. He no longer plays under the tree every day.
"Come and play with me." The tree said.
"I am no longer a child. I will never play under the tree again. " The boy replied, "I want toys." I need money to buy toys. "
"Sorry, I have no money ... but you can pick my apples and sell them, so you will have money."
The boy picked all the apples excitedly and left happily. The boy didn't come back for a long time after picking apples. The tree is very sad.
One day, the boy came back and the tree was very excited.
"Come and play with me." The tree said.
"I don't have time to play, I have to work and bring home the bacon. We need a house. Can you help me? "
"Sorry, I don't have a house, but you can cut off my branches to build your house." The boy cut off all the branches and left happily.
The tree was very happy to see the boy so happy. However, the boy did not come back for a long time. The tree is lonely and sad.
One hot summer, the boy finally came back, and the tree was very happy.
"Come and play with me!" The tree said.
"I'm not happy, I grow old day by day. I want to go sailing and relax. Can you give me a boat? "
"Build your boat with my trunk, and you can sail away happily." The boy cut down the trunk and made a boat.
He went sailing and didn't show up for a long time.
Finally, after many years, the boy finally came back.
"Sorry, son, I have nothing more to give you ..." The tree said.
"I have no teeth to bite apples." The boy replied.
"I don't have a trunk for you to climb." The tree said.
"I'm too old to climb." The boy said.
"I really can't give you anything except my dying roots." The tree said with tears.
"I don't need anything now, I just want to find a place to rest. After so many years, I am tired. " The boy replied. Sketch script, resume cover, free movie
"That's great! Old roots are the best support for rest. Come, sit next to me and have a rest. "
The boy sat down, and the tree was very happy and smiled with tears. ...
This is everyone's story. Trees are our parents. When we are young, we are willing to play with our parents. When we grow up, we leave our parents and only come back when we need something or encounter some trouble. In any case, parents always support us and try their best to give us everything that can make us happy. You may think that boys are too cruel to trees, but that's the way we all treat our parents!
(Ladies and gentlemen. Good afternoon. Today I will tell you a story. It's Peter and the Wolf. )
Peter: Good morning, everyone. What a nice day! How beautiful the green lawn is!
Bird: Good morning, Peter.
Peter: Good morning, bird.
Bird: It's a sunny morning, isn't it? Everything is calm. Everything is beautiful.
Duck: Look, I'm a duck. Peter forgot to lock the door.
Now I'm free. How I want to have a good bath in the swimming pool!
The duck jumps into the pool. )
Bird: Hi! Who are you? You can't fly?
Duck: Aren't you a bird? Can't you swim? Look. I can.
Bird: You are a fool.
Duck: I'm smart. You are a fool.
Bird: You are a fool.
Duck: I'm smart. You are a fool.
(At this moment, a black cat comes quietly. )
Kate: Yes. They are quarrelling. So I can catch them easily. look right at me , please.
Peter: Take care, bird. Be careful, bird.
(So the bird flies away. )
Duck: You are a thief. Why don't you catch that bird?
Bird: You are a robber. Why didn't you rob me?
Cat: Should I catch that bird? Should I?
I'm afraid that bird will fly away when I get there.
Grandpa: Look, Peter. It is very dangerous here. The duck is running into the pool. What should you do if the wolf comes?
Peter: I am a young pioneer. I am brave. How dare I do it to a wolf?
(A few minutes later. A big and cruel wolf came quietly.
The black cat ran away quickly. )
Cat, Bird: Oh, Wolf!
Duck: Oh! Honey. The wolf is coming. Let me run quickly.
How can a bird run so fast! Look, the wolf caught the bird and ate it. )
Wolf: How satisfied I am! But I still want to catch the bird
Black cat.
Now Peter and Grandpa see what happened. They have a good idea now. )
Peter: Birds. Please fly over the head of the wolf. You can fly around him. But you should be careful enough.
Bird: Wolf. Wolves. Can you catch me? You are a fool!
Can you catch me? Grab me!
The wolf jumped up and down with anger. At this moment.
Peter and his grandfather threw a rope and caught the wolf. )
Cat, Bird, Grandpa: Hit him. Beat him. Don't let him get away.
(at this time. A group of hunters came to the forest. Listen, they are shooting at wolves. )
Peter: Oh, no. Bird and I caught the wolf. Don't kill him. Keep him alive. Please help us send him to the zoo.
Peter, Grandpa, Hunter, Cat, Bird: Oh! Oh! Let's go to the zoo. Let's go to the zoo.
Now look at the group: Peter, Grandpa, Hunter, Bird and Cat. They are dragging the wolf to the zoo. How happy they are! )
Happy New Year!
Hello, happy holidays!
B: Huh? Festival? What festival? Is today your birthday? Congratulations! Congratulations! Bring a red envelope!
A: What a mess! His birthday has already passed!
Oh, it's not your birthday! So what day is it today?
No way. You don't even know what day it is.
Why should I know? Is today important?
A: Of course! This is a holiday for all of us.
Oh, I see, today is National Day!
A: Ah, it's not 1 October1day yet.
B: That's Women's Day! Let's wish all mothers in the world a happy holiday (sing: mom, mom, dear ...)
A: Wait, wait, wait. Wrong again!
Is that labor day?
A: (Laughter) Did the three-day holiday of 5. 1 make you sleepy? (touching each other's forehead)
B: Go, go, you are so stupid! Isn't it New Year's Day?
A: Ah! Are you kidding? ! ! !
B: I won't fool you. How can students laugh?
A: Ah! I'm a clown?
B: Look at your figure. You are not a clown. Are you an elephant?
A: Well, well, I won't argue with you on the big holiday! Let's wish all teachers and students a happy holiday!
Yes, but I can't!
A: Ah! What are you up to?
B: There are activities at school during the day. What can I do without me?
A: How about the evening?
Guess what I'm doing?
A: A rare holiday. You must watch TV!
B: vulgar! Your score is too low!
Ah, your score is very high. How tall are you?
B: You're welcome. I am as tall as TV.
A: Ah! You are a star! No respect! No respect!
It's nothing. It's just an occasional show or something It is rare to show your face on the screen! In fact, you can too!
A: Me? May I?
B: Of course! Let young friends have a look: Look at this little head, smarter than a smart rest, more beautiful than a flower fairy, and smaller than a crayon. ...
Please stop. Besides, I'm almost a Japanese!
B: She's a super beauty anyway!
Are you kidding? I have to ask you first.
B: Is there anything else to ask? Only you!
I'm not that good. I blushed! However, everyone usually calls me cherry maruko.
B: (Secretly: Is she a cherry ball? I'm still taro watermelon! )
Great! I really found the right person today. Come on, let's go to the TV station. (Pull by hand)
A: Hey, hey, don't pull me yet!
We have to hurry!
A: Your family doesn't own a TV station. Your dad is a big star. Who will let me in as a pupil?
Yo, you don't believe me, do you?
Yes, one of our pupils wants to be on TV, so Cecilia Cheung and Nicholas Tse have long been unemployed? Let me guess. People won't even let me in the gate.
B: Then let's discuss it with the doorman.
A: Say it well? Do you want me to die in the street like a beggar: "Uncle, have pity on me, please pull, I won't live if you don't let me in!" "
That's because they are used by bad people. We don't have to be so miserable!
What should we say? We can only say, "Uncle, let's go in! We're not young, we're over 20!
B: Huh? Over 20?
A: Yes, two people together!
Do you still think he is senile?
A: Then he said, "Uncle, if you let me in, I will give you a big bottle of Wahaha." ? Drink my Wahaha,
The food is sweet. Mom, I want to-wow, ha ha!
Look at you. You are not famous yet. You advertise like a star! I'm telling you, it's not necessary!
A: Can I really get into the TV station?
B: Nonsense, to tell you the truth, we are the hosts of the New Year's Day party today!
A: Hey! We can also be hosts?
Sure, why not? My hair is longer than that of Li Yong, and my Mandarin is 100 times higher than that of Liu Yiwei. Why not?
So what will happen this year?
B: Listen to me this year.
A: Huh? Are you still the chief director?
B: that's not worth it! Last month, I wrote a letter to the TV station asking for the opinions of my classmates.
Talk about our thoughts and ideas in detail, alas! Guess what, people really adopted it!
Really?
B: They all praised me for my courage to participate, and also said that I have a sense of reform and innovative spirit. That's amazing! Small ambition is big!
A: Wow! Students, let's applaud our big star!
B: (takes a sausage out of his pocket as a microphone) Thank you, thank you! Everybody's applause! I must do better than Sister Juping!
A: Hey! It really is like that!
B: (takes a bite) Ah! It tastes great!
A: Cough, cough! Why did you eat first? Tell me about the "June 1" party!
B: The main idea is that the big studio should be decorated into a beautiful fairy tale world. There are hundreds of birds forest, colorful wooden houses, exotic flowers and grasses, glass palaces and all kinds of big building blocks, which are shining with wonderful aura and colors under the changing computer lights.
A: It's really beautiful!
B: With classic children's songs from all over the world, it's really poetic!
A: The stage must be beautiful, too, right?
B: Of course! They are all the best schemes selected from the designs of small painters in various countries, and then integrated together.
Wow! That's simply beautiful! It is easy to get lost if you are not careful!
What's on at the party?
B: Wow! That's great! Let me introduce the cast first.
A: Who's there?
B: Here is the hero chorus "Singing the Motherland" in one hundred patriotic movies, which is performed by 65,438+000 young actors.
A: Good! Carry forward the patriotic tradition and strive for the rejuvenation of China!
B: This is a large-scale song and dance festival, which is performed by famous cartoon actors at home and abroad, such as the Monkey King, Snow White, Magic Pen Ma Liang, Xiao Sanmao, Flower Fairy, Gourd Baby, Black Cat Sheriff, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Smurfs, Transformers, Doraemon, Crayon Xiaoxin and so on.
A: Good! It symbolizes the world children's grand meeting!
B: There are small chorus, small ensemble, small dance, sketch, small acrobatics, small martial arts, small cross talk and small drama.
Magic, games ... everything.
A: Really rich!
B: There are also young reporters interviewing the top ten teenagers. The host invited our space hero Uncle Yang Liwei to meet with you.
Children thank parents, teachers and children artists who have worked hard day and night for our healthy growth!
A: Yes! Should, should!
B: Children's representatives from poor areas are also invited to take the stage to accept our holiday gifts and blessings.
We are hand in hand and heart in heart.
B: Young calligraphers, painters, photographers, poets and inventors perform live!
A: What a rich program!
B: Yes, the applause at the scene is definitely louder than snoring!
Who are the guests invited to the party?
B: Leaders and celebrities from all over the world are here! Even Grandpa Annan, Secretary-General of the United Nations, is here.
Unfortunately, three important people are missing.
Who's missing?
President George W. Bush of the United States.
What a big shelf this old boy has!
B: What! I was burned in the backyard by the Iraq war.
How can you come and play with us?
A: Who else is there?
B: Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein!
His house caught fire, too?
Your house is on fire! Our old comrade-in-arms Lisa is on trial at the International Court of Justice! Besides, George W. Bush is not allowed to come!
A: Hey! What a pity! Who's the other one?
That is the famous terrorist leader-bin Laden!
A: It should be bin Laden, right?
B: It's all the same anyway.
What happened to him?
B: At present, I am hiding in a cave. If I call him, he won't even answer, and he doesn't know the address when he writes!
We really don't know how to contact him!
A: He'd better not come!
B: Why?
A: When he comes, there are only two people left in the big studio!
B: Where did everyone go?
A: At the sight of old bin Laden, he ran away!
B: Then why is there another one?
A: That's the big star!
B: Who is it?
A: Isn't the host not afraid of death?
B: Ah! It's me ! !
A: Who else is there?
B: I won't do it! I'd better run quickly!
One day, when the teacher came into the classroom, the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" " "
The teacher said angrily, "Good morning? What shall I do in the afternoon? Not good? "
So the students shouted together: "Good afternoon, teacher!" "
The teacher said, "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. When I say something, you say the antonym loudly. Start now. "
Teacher: "The weather is fine today."
Student: "The weather is terrible today."
Teacher: "There is sunshine everywhere."
Student: "There are clouds everywhere."
Teacher: "Young."
Student: "Old."
Teacher: "Stand."
Student: "Lie down"
Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road."
Student: "There is an old man lying on the road."
Teacher: "I found a dollar."
Student: "I lost a dollar."
Teacher: "I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher."
Student: "I stole a teacher and lost a dollar."
Teacher: "No, you can't say that!" " "
Student: "Correct, you should say so!" " "
Teacher: "that won't do, it's illegal!" " "
Student: "This is ok, this is a legal act!" " "
Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is right!" " "
Student: "Listen to us, everything the teacher said is wrong!" " "
Teacher: "You are so stupid."
Student: "We are very smart."
Teacher: "Stop!"
Student: "Go on!"
Teacher: "You stop now! Stop it! "
Student: "Go on now! Say it! "
Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" " "
Student: "We are all geniuses, we say go on!" " "
Teacher: "You listen to the teacher!" " "
Student: "The teacher listens to us!" " "
Teacher: "all students have to listen to the teacher!" " "
Student: "The teacher should listen to the students!" " "
Teacher: "now you stop practicing!" " "
Student: "Now let's continue to practice!" "
Teacher: "Are you endless?"
Student: "We finish what we started!" "
Teacher: "Then stop! Stupid pig! "
Student: "Then we should continue! Genius! "
..... Then the teacher walked out of the classroom angrily with a book in his arms.
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