What jokes and sweet words can make your girlfriend happy? The more, the better.

1. When riding a motorcycle, a person likes to wear his clothes backwards, that is, buckle his back to keep out the wind. One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road. When the police arrived ... Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back. Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman b: ok ... one, two, push, it's back. Policeman A: Well, I'm not breathing ... 2. A woman is too ugly to marry and wants to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. When the kidnapper brought it back, she insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: go, don't take the car! ! ! 3. The men's and women's toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper to the toilet. When she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl turned pale and asked loudly, "Who?" . The boy next door replied with a deep and powerful voice: "Lei Feng." 4. The orchard found a child stealing apples, so he cursed: problem child, wait, I'll tell your father! The boy looked up at the tree and shouted, Dad, someone is looking for you. 5. A man pursues Jane Doe and plays Er Quan Yue Ying with erhu. Afterwards, the woman said: The erhu is not very good, but people look like blind A Bing. 6. A gentleman caught a cold and went to the hospital for intravenous drip. The nurse quickly inserted the needle into Mr. Wang's body and hung physiological saline. 1 more hours passed, and the water in the salt bottle was finished. The nurse came over and immediately changed a bottle. The gentleman was puzzled and asked the nurse, "Miss, isn't there only one bottle on the prescription list?" The nurse pointed to the empty bottle cap behind the salt water and said, Sir, you are so lucky. This bottle won the lottery-another bottle ~! 7. The prisoner was shot. The first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullet, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, eldest brother, you strangled me! It's so fucking horrible ... 8. One day, a person met God, and God suddenly showed mercy and planned to give that person a wish ... God asked, do you have any wishes? The man thought about it and heard that cats have nine lives. Please give me nine lives. God said: well, your wish has come true. One day, the man was idle and bored. If he said he would die, there were nine lives anyway. He was lying on the track ... As a result, a train passed by ... and the man was still dead. Why? Because that train has 10 cars. 9. A child once said to me, "Brother, you are so handsome." I slapped him hard and said, "You are talking nonsense." 10. A farmer's daughter was too ugly to marry, so the farmer had to let her work as a scarecrow in the corn field to scare crows. As a result, when she got there, she not only scared away the crows, but even scared three crows to send back the corn they had stolen before. .............