What do you think of people who gloat about their misfortunes?

Why gloat?

People often use social comparison to determine their own advantages and status in society. He believes that schadenfreude comes from social comparison. From the traditional definition, schadenfreude is a negative emotion that mostly arises from bystanders who cannot influence the suffering of others. However, if you extend schadenfreude to revenge or other behaviors, it will deprive you of the special satisfaction that this emotion brings.

In fact, whether in life or in the workplace, there are many people who gloat over misfortunes. Others’ misfortunes make them feel lucky. This phenomenon is called social comparison in psychology. . Social comparison means that in social life, we use comparison with others as the standard for self-evaluation to satisfy our inner self-esteem needs. Behind the schadenfreude, what is missing is not only sympathy, but also the lack of being treated with empathy in childhood.

Because they lack the ability and habit of being empathetic, they will despise empathetic behavior. When they see others suffering, they identify with the attitude of being ridiculed, despised, and indifferent when they were young, and are proud of being in a superior position. The sense of superiority generated by comparison satisfies their narcissism, and they empathize with others. The lack of heart manifests itself as gloating over misfortune.

What should you do if you are gloated about your misfortune?

I am happy when others are not doing well. Is there joy or sadness behind this kind of schadenfreude? In fact, it is difficult to judge. After all, as far as schadenfreude is concerned, the reasons behind it are both the self-esteem that is not seen and the narcissism that is not satisfied.

Now that we have understood the real causes behind schadenfreude, what should we do in real life when faced with schadenfreude?

The first thing is to clarify your own goals. This requires you to understand your position more clearly and understand yourself objectively when facing unwarranted comparisons by others.

Secondly, don’t be trapped in emotions, truly do not be happy with things, don’t be sad with yourself, and become the master of emotions. In real life, it is difficult for us to stop others, but what we can do is to control our emotions in the face of these, do not fall into the emotional traps that others want us to fall into, and always maintain our own integrity. Objectivity and calmness.