I said you are lazy and have a bad temper.

1. A bear is defecating in the Woods, and a rabbit comes. He asked the rabbit, "Has it lost its hair?" The rabbit thought for a moment and said, "Don't lose hair! The bear took a cigarette and asked, "Will it lose its hair?" The rabbit looked at the bear and said, "Don't lose your hair!" " The bear looked at the rabbit suspiciously and asked, "Really don't shed hair?" The rabbit shouted impatiently, "If you don't lose your hair, you won't lose it!"! ! ! "After his words, the bear grabbed the rabbit and said …" Sorry, I forgot my paper. "

The giraffe said, "Little Rabbit, I hope you know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The little white rabbit looked at him without expression.

"Also, in summer, cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is delicious. What a long neck! White rabbit, can you imagine? "

The white rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?"

3. One day, a kangaroo was driving on a country road, and suddenly he saw a small white rabbit in the middle of the road, with his ears and body almost lying on the ground, as if listening to something …

So .. Kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously, "What are you listening to, Little White Rabbit?"

"A big truck passed by here half an hour ago ..."

"Wow .. so God! .. how do you know? .."

"He XX! That's how my neck and legs are broken .. "

The ant was walking in the forest and suddenly met an elephant. The ant burrowed into the soil and stretched out a leg.

The little white rabbit was curious and asked, What are you doing?

The ant whispered to it:

Shh ... don't make a sound, watch me trip. ...

One day, the rabbit was writing in front of a cave, and a wolf came up and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The wolf asked again, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing about how rabbits eat wolves."

The wolf laughed and said he didn't believe it.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave and the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. Then another fox came over and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The fox asked, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "How does the rabbit eat the fox?"

The fox laughed after hearing this, expressing disbelief.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit went out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper.

At this time, in the cave, a lion was sitting on a pile of bones and picking his teeth, while reading the rabbit's paper: the ability of an animal is not determined by its strength, but by who is the boss behind it.

6. One day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots here?" "

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit is gone.

The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?" "

The boss said, "I told you, no!" " "

The little white rabbit is gone.

On the third day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?" "

The boss is anxious: "How many times have I told you? ! Don't! ! ! If you bother me again, I'll clamp your teeth with tiger pliers

Unplug them all! "

The little white rabbit was frightened and ran away.

On the fourth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have tiger pliers here?" "

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit asked, "Well, do you have any carrots?" "

The boss was really angry, took out the tiger pliers and pulled out all the teeth of the little white rabbit.

On the fifth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have carrot juice here?" "

7. The white rabbit and the big bear squatted under the tree and shit.

Bear said to the white rabbit, although you white rabbits are good-looking, you are in trouble! You can tell when it's dirty. That's disgusting!

The little white rabbit said, look at what you said! Isn't it?

Bear said, yes! Bear said as he grabbed the white rabbit and wiped his ass and walked away.

……

8. The white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a jar.

An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes.

The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true.

The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true.

The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again.

The little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again.

The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches!

The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turn this bear into a homosexual. ...

9. The first company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Rabbit: Not busy.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: I'm not busy because I can't work for the company more. What does the company want you to do?

* The second company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Very busy.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are disorganized, you will be busy all day. What does the company want you to do?

* The third company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Not bad.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are irrational, there is no "yes" or "no". What does the company want you to do?

* The fourth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Just finished.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are so inefficient, can't you check it after you finish? What does the company want from you?

* The fifth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Some of them have finished the inspection, and now they are doing something else. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are not systematic, won't you do something together? What does the company want from you?

* The sixth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished all the work and am helping others. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't have a plan, won't you plan what to do tomorrow? What does the company want from you?

* The seventh company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Today's work is finished, and so is tomorrow's work. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't consider the whole, won't you help your colleagues solve problems? What does the company want from you?

* The eighth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished today's work and tomorrow's work, and now I am helping my colleagues.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are too pushy, your help is likely to cause laziness or stress in others. What does the company want from you?

* The ninth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Wait a minute, I'll think about it before I answer you.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: You are very arrogant. I keep asking you questions. Why does the company want you?

* The tenth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tu Tu: I ... I ... No, I don't know ... how to answer you.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't even know whether you are busy or not, what does the company want you to do?

* Eleventh Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Fuck you, I quit ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Boss: Hey! If you have personality, our company won't let you go!

10. The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

1 1. There is a white rabbit running happily in the forest.

On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana.

The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe Giraffe, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit and threw it behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits.

Later, they met an elephant who was about to take cocaine.

The white rabbit said to the elephant, "elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit and threw the cocaine behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits and giraffes.

Later, they met a lion who was about to kill a poisonous snake.

The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit and threw the syringe behind him.

Rushed over and gave the white rabbit a good beating.

The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "Why did you hit the white rabbit?"

It is so kind, cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "

The lion said angrily, "This son of a bitch pulls me every time he eats ecstasy."

Running around the forest like an idiot. "

12. On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river and went home without catching anything.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home.

On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:

If you use carrots as fucking bait again, I'll kill you!

13. In order to test the strength of the police in the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland, the United Nations put three rabbits in three forests.

Let's see who finds the rabbit first.

Before the first forest was discovered by American police. They first spent half a day meeting to make a battle plan and strictly divide the work, and then

Special forces were sent to the forest for a carpet search, and the meeting was postponed. The rabbit ran away and the mission failed!

Then it was the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent 100 people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest for the leaders to use.

The trumpet shouted "Rabbit, Rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender ..." Half a day passed, but nothing happened. Fly.

The tiger went into the forest and searched again. There was no result and the mission failed!

Finally, there are only four policemen in China. First, they played mahjong all day. At dusk, a man walked into the forest with a baton. It didn't take five minutes.

Hearing the screams of the animals in the forest, the police in China were smoking, talking and laughing and dragging behind.

Seeing a black and blue bear, the bear was dying and said, "Stop fighting, I'm a rabbit ..."

14. The little white rabbit was walking in the forest. When he met the wolf, he came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers.

Say, I told you not to wear a hat. The little white rabbit left very grievance.

The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and handed it to Xiao.

The white rabbit has two big mouths and says, "I want you to wear a hat."

Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.

After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." The same day

The tiger found his partner, the wolf. "It is wrong for you to do so. This is very difficult for me. " Wipe while talking

Wipe the dust off the table: "Do you think this is ok?" You can say, Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat!

She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can hit her. while

Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones.

. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "The Wolf nodded frequently.

Clap your hands and applaud, and the reverence for the tiger once again rushes to a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were given to the tiger outside the window.

The little white rabbit mowing the grass heard it. I hate this in my heart.

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, pass."

Come on, find me a piece of meat. "Tu Tu said," So, do you want to be fat or thin? "Listen, Wolf,

Heart sank, it is a joy, the heart says it's good to have a plan B, he added, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman.

"Tu Tu asked," So, do you like plump or slim? " The wolf was silent for 2 seconds and raised his hand again.

I gave Tutu two big ear posts. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat."

15. Three white rabbits picked a mushroom.

The two big ones let the small one get some wild vegetables to eat together.

The younger one said I wouldn't go. If I leave, you will eat my mushrooms.

When the older two said no, the little white rabbit went ~ ~ ~

Half a year has passed, and the white rabbit hasn't come back yet. One of the older ones said he wouldn't come back. Let's eat.

The other big one said wait ~ ~ ~

A year has passed and the white rabbit hasn't come back yet. Don't wait for us to eat.

Just then, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the nearby jungle and said angrily, Look! I know you want to eat my mushrooms.