The embarrassing joke of life

Life anecdote joke: When you like a person, you have GPS in your eyes. No matter how many people there are, you can always lock him in the crowd for a second. It also comes with PS function, which is automatic and beautiful. More wonderful jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!

Life anecdote joke (1) 1, 22B colleagues chatted, and one said: If you have two girlfriends, one is big but ugly, and the other is good-looking but has no breasts, which one do you choose?

The other person thought for a moment and said, it depends on which is more expensive, breast enhancement or plastic surgery. ......

2. Play with WeChat drift bottle and pick up a bottle of * * * for 20 seconds. Didn't say a word in the first 19 seconds, but only said a word in the last second: sb, are you still listening? .

3. reporter:? Why do you want to work in comedy?

Actor:? They always laugh at me, so I want to simply charge them some money. ?

4. A taxi driver accidentally hit a BMW, and the BMW driver got off and shouted: Where did Chang Yan go? Can you afford a 300,000-400,000 car? ?

The taxi driver calmly replied:? This car needs more than 300 thousand to go through the formalities. ?

Life's embarrassing joke (2) 1, and went to the park in the evening. Our circles are all big shots, and they all have that kind of hobby.

I also want to make some friends here. I don't know when he took a fancy to me.

I just feel that someone has been watching me. For a long time, he asked me softly: Dude, are you having sex?

I turned my head and saw that his eyes were bright and there was a knife-shaped eyebrow at his temple. What a handsome young man!

Can't help but say to him: Watching chess without words is the real gentleman, understand? ! ?

There are flower beds in the park. There is a sign on the flower bed that says:? Those who step on flower beds will be fined 3 yuan! ?

It is said that the grandfather who looks at the flower bed throws a one-dollar coin into the flower bed every day. . .

Then someone will be fined 3 yuan every day. . .

I called KFC to order takeout last night. From 12 to 1, the phone has been talking? busy

My friend was hungry, so he picked up the phone and pressed English service? Wait? It's through! The first sentence of a friend is:? Can you speak Chinese?

The other party paused and answered:? Yes! ?

Then this guy imitates a foreigner's accent and asks in Chinese. Can I swim and eat in the bedroom? Answer:? Sure! ? So the order was successful!

Life anecdote joke (3) 1, on the train, playing navigation for the shop uncle, all the time? You were seriously speeding. Are you interesting? . .

As an electrical engineer, I always carry an electric pen with a battery in my pocket.

One day, I accompanied my girlfriend to buy a sweater. The salesperson enthusiastically introduced: This sweater is of very good quality and antistatic. ?

I silently took out my electric pen and scratched it gently on my sweater, and it rang immediately? Tick-tock? Sound.

The salesman has a black line on his face: you don't have to be so professional in buying clothes. ?

3. A pupil said to his mother with a winter vacation homework. Mom, I have too many winter vacation homework! ?

His mother took it and turned over a few pages, then tore up the exercise book and threw it out of the window.

A busload of people and pupils were dumbfounded.

His mother said smartly: when the teacher asks, you say that mom and dad fought and mom tore up the exercise book! ?

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