What do parents prepare for their children in college entrance examination?

The Special Features of "Parents' Maze" in College Entrance Examination

As the day of the college entrance examination is getting closer and closer, many parents begin to get angry. Parents are more anxious than their children during the exam. In this way, the exam is no longer a test of students, but also a test of parents to a large extent. During the children's college entrance examination, some parents have serious psychological anxiety. Therefore, Professor Wang Jisheng from the Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences prescribed a prescription for these parents. He told reporters that if parents do not handle it properly, it will affect the candidates' performance. In fact, the college entrance examination is not mysterious, but there are rules to follow. Obey the rules of college entrance examination, and you will succeed. If you violate the rules, you may fail.

Guide the maze: don't help blindly

Many parents think that the college entrance examination is a big event, and their lips blister all day. Husband and wife often quarrel about their children's college entrance examination and don't know how to start. One minute they want their children to do this, and the other minute they want their children to do that. These parents are all blindly helping, this is not helping. Professor Wang Jisheng from the Institute of Psychology of the Chinese Academy of Sciences said that parents had five major misunderstandings in the early stage of the college entrance examination:

Myth 1: Overprotection. Parents focus on protecting their children before the college entrance examination. The whole family revolves around their children, and even some parents take time off to take care of their children at home. In fact, this is not conducive to children taking the college entrance examination with a normal heart, but it causes too much psychological pressure on children and affects their normal play in the examination room.

Myth 2: excessive interference. Many parents think this time is too important. Children should concentrate on reviewing and doing their homework, but they can't do anything else, which limits their freedom. They are not allowed to do this and that, which is counterproductive.

Myth 3: Expectations are too high. Expectations for children are too high, beyond the actual level of children. People who are not focused enough will also focus, which will easily dampen children's self-confidence.

Myth 4: Parents should set an example. Some parents often tell their children that the college entrance examination is coming and they can't watch TV, but they are watching TV, which will not only easily arouse their resentment, but also affect their review.

Myth 5: Pay attention to mental health. Some parents take care of their children's health, but ignore their mental health.

Collection: five wants and five doesn't.

Emotional stability: Parents' emotional stability helps candidates' emotional stability through psychological mechanisms such as infection and suggestion. Parents' emotional instability and nervousness are not conducive to the establishment of candidates' good mentality.

Be cheerful: Parents' full self-confidence and emotional saturation will have a positive impact on candidates and help to enhance their confidence.

Telling candidates to do their best can help reduce the pressure from parents. Candidates can easily go to the examination room and make answers seriously.

Do a good job in children's food hygiene. Candidates can eat ordinary meals without strengthening nutrition. Do a good job in children's food hygiene, so that candidates can take the college entrance examination with full spirit and energy.

We should carry out necessary supervision and inspection. Conduct necessary supervision and inspection of candidates' examination supplies and admission tickets. And give necessary hints on the route and time to the examination room.

Don't set a test score index for children in every course. Don't always ask your child's grades, otherwise it will put pressure on your child.

Don't dictate which university your child goes to.

Don't impose your wishes on your children. Guide children to be volunteers, instead. Otherwise, it is easy to cause children's hostility and affect test scores. Candidates in Beijing will volunteer before the exam, but parents should not talk to their children about volunteering before the exam.

No regrets. Parents who volunteer regret that their volunteers are too high or too low, and complaining all day will affect their children's review and exams.

Don't send children to the examination room. Sending children to the examination room is not conducive to enhancing their confidence in the examination, but increases the pressure of the examination. There are too many review requirements for children on June 7 and August 9, otherwise it will easily lead to emotional fluctuations of children, which is not conducive to the college entrance examination.

Health reminder

During the college entrance examination every year, the weather is hot. Candidates are in a state of high tension, easy to get tired, and their physical resistance drops. Besides, the weather has been changeable in recent days. If you don't pay attention to health care, it will easily lead to a cold. To prevent colds during the college entrance examination, we should first pay attention to rest and ensure that candidates have enough sleep time; Secondly, pay attention to cold and warmth, not only to prevent exposure to heat stroke, but also to adjust the temperature of the air conditioner, and don't turn the air conditioner too low when sleeping; Then we should pay attention to food hygiene, adjust our diet, eat more light and digestible food, and should not eat cold things.

Remind parents before the exam: the materials are prepared by the candidates themselves

Some materials before the exam should be prepared by candidates themselves, and parents should supervise and remind them, which cannot be replaced. There are profound lessons in this respect. Professor Wang said that last year's college entrance examination, the night before the exam, a grandfather of a candidate in Harbin said, "You can sleep peacefully. I will set the time for your watch and wake you up in the morning." The examinee went to rest with peace of mind, but his grandfather delayed the examinee's taking the college entrance examination for an hour.

Remind parents during the exam: sending candidates to the examination room is not conducive to children's play.

Whether to send the exam during the college entrance examination should be decided according to the individual situation of the candidates. Some children think that their parents can be more confident with them and can eliminate their tension. At this time, parents can accompany him to the exam. But some candidates are very independent, and their parents will follow them, which will make them feel depressed and uncomfortable. In short, parents should respect their children's own opinions when deciding whether to take the exam, and even who to take the exam should be "chosen" by the children. Professor Wang gave an example. Last year, a girl did badly in the examination room of the middle school attached to the National People's Congress. When she went to consult Professor Wang, she revealed the truth. She didn't know any questions at that time. She immediately thought of her parents outside the examination room and felt guilty. At that time, her mind was blank and she failed the exam.

Remind parents after the test: loss inside the embankment, compensation outside the embankment.

Some children fail in the examination room, feel depressed after coming down, and even have the idea of "all finished" What should we do at this time? After a child fails in the exam, the specific performance is often far from the actual psychological state. If you lose 3 points, the children will think that you have lost 5 points. Parents should tell their children at this time: if a question is done wrong, they will "fill the embankment outside", fail an exam, and have other subjects to take. All tested courses, good or bad, are put aside and empty talk. An excellent course is to test the next one with enough strength. Parents should never ask their children, "How was the exam?" After each exam. Is there any problem that you can't do? "This will make the child's already tired nerves weaker and his mood will be greatly affected. Parents should try to avoid asking questions about the exam content. When giving children some summer drinks, try to relax their emotions and be humorous: "Hey, the war is over!" " "Let children feel that parents don't take test scores seriously. Then tell the children about the anecdotes in life. Turn your child's attention to other directions as much as possible. (Reporter Zheng Chao)

Parent clinic 1: all-round acceptance of children

Parents should first decompress themselves. Parents should first correct their mentality and turn the family into a stable support system for candidates. The pre-test stress of candidates is related to the school and parents. Starting with parents is the key to solving the problem. "Examination anxiety" is more obvious in some parents than in students. Some of them become worse than usual, some become more cordial than usual, some eat too much and can't sleep well at night. Parents' anxiety will eventually cause candidates' anxiety. The solution to "anxiety" is that parents fully trust their children, accept their children's reality and accept them in all directions. They can't just accept their good side without accepting their "bad side". There are individual differences among children. If parents don't accept the reality, it will only make children more nervous and less confident. Only when parents have a calm mind can the negative impact on candidates be minimized and candidates can take the exam calmly.

Parent Clinic 2: Guide, not suppress.

We should realize the relationship between pressure and ability: without any pressure, we may not pay attention to academic performance; If you pay too much attention to it, your ability may not come into play. Parents should realize that each child's psychological quality is different. According to the different situations of children, some children need stress and some need decompression. Parents should relieve their children's psychological pressure, not suppress it. For example, a student is so nervous that he is skeptical about the result of every problem he does. He once asked his mother, "Why is 1 plus 1 equal to 2?" The result was scolded by my mother: "You are so old, why do you still ask such childish questions?" As a result, the student fell into a deeper paranoid state in self-blame.

Must-read for parents of college entrance examination: appeasement for candidates from different states before the exam.

First, anxiety and tension

Such children are sensitive, self-abased, easily disturbed by the external environment, and often have some shortcomings in mastering knowledge. For them, at this stage, the first thing is to fill the knowledge gap with the help of the teacher. At the same time, we should pay attention to a relaxed family atmosphere-don't ask more questions about study, and don't deliberately emphasize that grades are not important; Tell jokes when eating, tell parents' stories or social news, if possible, turn on the TV when eating and comment appropriately; Chat after dinner, ask what's interesting in class, and take the children out for a walk; When walking with your child, you can pat him on the head, hug him on the shoulder and give him some hints of positive relaxation. A few days before the exam, don't make new papers. Read more papers and books you have made. Because there are probably some new questions in the new test paper that can't be done, it will bring more worries to its fragile psychology. And the papers you have done can enhance your confidence. Don't worry about missing new questions. In fact, the questions are ever-changing, but the knowledge points and problem-solving methods are often the same. It's good to review the old and learn the new.

Have a cup of hot milk before going to bed at night.

Second, pride is self-sufficient

Such children are smart, confident and competitive; But it is often easy to be careless, and the exam will always lose points; At the last minute, I like to do topics and ignore the combing of book knowledge points; And parents don't listen. For them, they must return to books at the last minute and pay attention to details. We can take certain forms to stimulate his competitive spirit and urge him to take the initiative to check and fill the gaps. The following are two cases I have tried, and the results are good, for reference only.

1) challenge method.

Son, I talked to our unit about children's study today. I said you were sure to get the first place in the exam, but he didn't believe me, which made me very angry. I asked him why. He said you were careless and your basic skills were not solid. If the topic is difficult, you are very good. If the topic is simple, you will definitely fail the exam. What effect will it have if you try it?

2) Experts say

Find someone else to pretend to be an expert, analyze the test paper for the child (of course, tell the child's main shortcomings in advance), and then put forward suggestions for improvement according to his shortcomings.

Third, energy transfer type.

Due to the monotonous and overworked study, a few students relaxed at the last minute and their energy began to shift. The most common of these is that there are signs of puppy love at the last minute; This matter should be handled with care. Pay attention to the following points during the treatment:

1, show your attitude and don't blame.

First of all, understanding is completely normal. You can get married in college now. It's really normal to fall in love in high school. You can also tell jokes, such as what you used to be.

2. Analyze advantages and disadvantages

The point is, now is not the time. Analyze, what will happen if we continue? If your grades drop and you can't get into a good school, your love may be gone. Or you didn't enter, and the other party entered. Even if others don't dislike themselves, they will feel inferior after a long time. Or both of them failed in the exam and continued to love each other. In the end, even if they come together, their quality of life may not be comparable to that of being admitted to a better school. For example,,,,,,

3. Suggestions for cold treatment

The passion of first love can't be ignored. Children in this period are very rebellious. The better treatment suggestion is: cold treatment. You can joke easily: I think this kid is good, too. I wish I had such a daughter-in-law in the future. But if you don't get into college, this love may not last long. On the other hand, if you pass the exam, you can pursue love aboveboard. If you are afraid of losing this feeling because you study hard, it means that it doesn't belong to you at all, and it's not worth paying any price for it.

Many students will have the right choice after such analysis, but some children are difficult to deal with. There was a boy who got good grades. Later, he was asked to help a girl, and the two had feelings and their grades plummeted. Parents are angry and anxious, and it is useless for teachers to criticize education and persuade them. I told him the story of my youth:

Once in senior three, a beautiful boy sent me a note to show his love. I also sent a photo (black and white photo one inch smaller). I was very excited at that time, because he was the object that many girls liked. I feel uneasy all day, I can't listen to anything in class, and I don't feel at ease studying at night. Finally, I want to receive the photos. Where should I put them? The pencil box is not safe. What if someone turns it over? The drawer is unsafe for my sister to see. It's not safe under the bedplate. Mom may go to bask in the quilt. After tossing around in the middle of the night, I returned the photo to him in an envelope the next day and wrote a few words "It's a long story". How sad I am to see him whistling away happily. I secretly swear in my heart, "When I go to college, no matter what he is, I will take the initiative to pursue him, love him and ask for his forgiveness and love." It will fade in a few days. Then I went to college, but he didn't. There are so many excellent young people to choose from in front of me. When I think of him again, I have forgotten my oath.

After listening to it, he didn't speak for a long time, and later said, I know, teacher.

Now he is a junior in Xi Jiaotong University.

4. Prevention in advance

The last minute of study makes people feel monotonous and prone to emotional things. Parents and teachers must pay attention to adjustment and prevent in advance. For example, if you have time to take your children out for a walk, organize simple sports activities, or watch TV properly. Parents can usually take time to pick up their children from school, so they must reduce the chances of separate contact between boys and girls-for example, going home together and making up lessons for each other.

Ten taboo words that parents should never avoid before college entrance examination.

Taboo 1:

"come on Mom and Dad are waiting for your successful return! "

Comments: Children want to get good grades, but the college entrance examination is an ability test. If parents are unrealistic, it will make children even less confident.

Taboo 2:

"I wish you success!"

Comments: Instead of wishing success, it is better to use words that care about the safety of candidates, such as "pay attention to safety" and "be careful all the way", because the message conveyed by such sentences is "Mom and Dad care about me, not just my grades".

Taboo 3:

"Remember your goal, success or failure is at stake!"

Comments: Over-emphasizing the role of college entrance examination in life, thinking that children can't get in, or can't get into a good university, will directly affect the future.

Taboo 4:

"Our children's model test scores are very good, and the teacher said that it is no problem to take the Tsinghua Peking University!"

Comments: After all, the model test is not a live-fire examination room. Remind parents not to give their children unrealistic high expectations, which will invisibly increase their pressure and may directly affect their normal play.

Taboo 5:

"Look at the question carefully and answer it carefully. Don't have any big omissions, try to get as many points as possible. "

Comments: Before the college entrance examination, the teacher has repeatedly urged parents not to say anything more. Because no candidate is willing to lose points on the knowledge points he has mastered.

Taboo 6:

"Now is the time to test your review. You should make good use of it. "

Comments: Today's children all know the importance of the college entrance examination. If parents say this, it is likely to make the child's already fluctuating emotions more difficult to calm down.

Taboo 7:

"Stick to it for a while, do well in the exam, and you and your parents will be liberated."

Comments: When children hear these words, they will feel that they are a burden to their parents. It seems that their parents are all of their own making. If you meet stubborn and willful children, you may contradict each other and even hurt your feelings.

Taboo 8:

"Being the same person, I don't believe that my children are worse than others."

Comments: In real life, some parents often like to compare their children with each other. A correct attitude is that no matter how their children are, parents should be satisfied as long as their children are physically and mentally healthy and know the basic principles of being a man.

Taboo 9:

"Mom and dad work so hard for you. You must live up to expectations and have a good future. "

Comments: Now parents pay a lot for their children and hope to get something in return from them. Many parents believe that the best reward for parents' careful training is that their children study hard and make progress consciously before adulthood.

Taboo 10:

"If I don't get into mom and dad, I won't blame you. We will review it again next year. "

Comments: Many parents hope to use such words to decompress their children and help them relax. In fact, most candidates are disgusted with this sentence. They think that saying these things before the college entrance examination is a denial of their abilities.