Looking for some bad jokes, more of them, urgent, urgent, suitable for people around 13 years old.

Once upon a time, there was a toothpick walking on the road. Suddenly it met a hedgehog, so it stopped and waved: "...The bus..."

One day, Toothpick While walking, he found a dime on the ground, so he bent down to check it, and then his waist broke.

"Is my face oily?" "It reflects light, so I can't see clearly."

At a certain class meeting, the monitor wanted to know how many people came, but he felt that the number of people present was relatively small. There are many, but there are few people who are not here. It is better to directly count the number of people who are not here, so I thought about it and said: "Everyone, please pay attention. If you are not here, raise your hands and I will count the number of people."

One person particularly liked it. On an adventure, I went to the primeval forest. I heard that there were poisonous snakes, so I brought a knife with me. Also bring a guide.

Not long after, his arm was bitten by a snake. Thinking that a poisonous snake could kill him in an instant, he cut off his arm with a knife in desperation.

The guide said: This snake is not poisonous.

A man from the city rowed a small boat to go fishing. He saw another man in another boat, opening a tool box and taking out a mirror. He was very surprised, so he rowed the boat over and asked, "What are you doing with that mirror?"

"That's my fishing trick. I use the mirror to reflect the sun's rays onto the lake. When the fish see the sunlight on the water, they will swim to the surface. I just need to reach out and catch them in the boat. "Wow! Is this trick really effective?"

"Spirit."

"Do you want to sell that mirror? I'll pay you $30 for it."

"Okay, I'll sell it to you."

After paying the money, people from the city asked: "By the way, how many fish did you catch this week?"

"You are the sixth one."

A nouveau riche went to the city to stay in a hotel. After completing the check-in procedures, the waiter took him to a room. As soon as he entered the door, he yelled: "Do you think I am a fool? Is your most expensive single room here as big as a cupboard, with nothing but a chair in it?" No?"

The waiter said: "Sir, please come in, this is the elevator!"

When Ma Daha met a person on the street, he walked up to him and said, "Ah! Oh my god! Why have you changed so much? Your face was always red before, but now you are so pale. You used to be tall and strong, but now you are so short and thin that I can hardly recognize you. , Aqiang."

The man explained: "I am not Aqiang."

Ma Daha: "Look, I was right, even my name was changed! ”

There is a girl who is nearsighted. She used to wear glasses, but since she got a boyfriend, she no longer wears glasses. Her mother was surprised and asked her why she didn't wear glasses.

She said: "Mom, he thinks I look better without glasses. The important thing is, I also think he looks better this way."

I was with my friends a few days ago. During the meal, we talked about getting a wife. My friend's wife is older than him, so I asked him why he found someone older than him.

My friend replied: "Who wouldn't choose a bigger one for the same money?"

A couple encountered a swamp while driving and their car got stuck. It took them a long time to get out of the car. Didn't get the car out. At this time, they saw a young farmer driving several cows along a country road.

When the farmer saw the couple in trouble, he stopped and offered to pay him 50 yuan to help them pull the car out. The husband agreed, and within a few minutes the car was free of the swamp. The farmer said to the husband: "You know, today I have pulled 9 cars out of the mud pit, and your car is the tenth one."

The husband turned his head and looked at the farmland in disbelief. , asked: "Then when will you have time to plow the land?"

"I don't plow the land," the young farmer replied seriously, "My main job in a day is to water the pit. ”

There was a doctor who was originally a painter. Because of his bad reputation, he changed his profession and became a doctor.

A friend asked him: "How did you get into this business?"

The doctor said: "If the painting is not good or wrong, It’s clear to everyone that I don’t like people finding fault with me. It doesn’t matter if I treat the wrong disease, but if I bury the dead, no one will be able to see it.”

I just went on a blind date. .

After lunch, my girlfriend said to me: Leave a QQ number.

I said I don’t use QQ very much.

She said: It doesn’t matter, I don’t use it very much.

A beautiful woman fell down on the subway, and the handsome man beside her kindly helped her. The beautiful woman said with a shy face: Thank you, what is your name?

The handsome guy smiled handsomely and replied: My name is Red Scarf...

My computer was attacked by a hacker, so I asked a friend who knew computers for advice.

My friend said: "There are too many computer hackers now! These people are knowledgeable and educated people"

Me: "Of course, a scholar like you will not become a hacker Yes, you are well-educated, and you belong to the type of 'literati'!"

At this time, the son on the side said: "Dad! Ink is also black!"