Funny sentences suitable for posting on Moments

Funny sentences suitable for posting on Moments

Funny sentences suitable for posting on Moments. In today’s life, many people find ways to make themselves laugh while watching videos or reading books online. Sentences will be shared with everyone in their circle of friends. Below is a list of funny sentences I’ve compiled that are suitable for posting on Moments! Funny sentences suitable for posting on Moments 1

1. I really want to fall in love this autumn. I hope you can talk sweetly every day and make me crazy. Then you cheat on me and I am heartbroken and lose 20 pounds. catty.

When I was 2 or 5 years old, my goal was Ferrari. When I was 20 years old, my goal was the Audi A6. When I was 25 years old, my goal was the Geely Panda. My current goal is to squeeze into the bus and have a seat to sit and listen to music.

3. In this damn weather, it’s hot and uncomfortable without the air conditioner. If you turn on the air conditioner, you have to buy one, which is expensive and uncomfortable.

4. My wife asked me: If a female colleague seduce you, would you obey? I smiled and shook my head, haha, who do you think I am? Am I the kind of person who tells you what I really think?

5. After returning home from get off work, I fell into deep thought while watching the aunt dancing gracefully on the square dance. What will I do when I get old? Those square dances look so difficult.

6. Whenever my friends around me are unhappy, I would advise them to look further ahead and let bygones be bygones. But they are always unwilling to give in and keep urging me: pay back the money quickly!

7. A woman may betray you, a brother may cheat on you, but mathematics cannot. If you can’t do math, you just can’t!

8. When you were poor, you thought you would be happy if you were rich. But when you are really rich, you realize that being rich is not only happiness, it is simply the bliss of life and death.

9. Before getting married, my wife always rode a pink bicycle. I always get off the bike when something happens and I never land on one leg! She speaks softly and looks like a good girl who has no power to restrain a chicken. After getting married, I finally deceived my brother. He rode a motorcycle to a speed of 100 miles, and even did a small drift from time to time. My brother was sitting behind and his nose was thrown out. Forget it, that day, she accidentally asked me to dig out her Taekwondo black belt certificate. It was all fake, it was a big lie!

10. When I hate someone, if that person suddenly says they like me, then I don’t hate them at all. He is so principled that he cannot hate a discerning person.

11. I went to a noodle shop to eat noodles at noon. The lady boss came over and asked: "What kind of noodles do you want to eat?" Me: "Ramen." The lady boss: "Would you like thicker or thinner ones?" Me: "The thinner ones?" "How thin?" The boss's wife said: "The thin one is thicker than the thick one." I was puzzled and asked: "How thick is the thick one?" The boss's wife said: "The thick one is thicker." "I...

12. There are many things that you can't figure out at the time. Don't worry. If you think about it after a while, you won't be able to remember it.

13. A beautiful woman cried Extremely sad! My friend asked him: “What happened? ! The beauty cried and said: "I slept with the director last night, and he told me the next day that he was making cartoons!" ! ”

14. My buddy came back from a blind date, and I asked him how he was doing, and he said: I want a body, a face, and a face. In short, I have everything I want, but I didn’t ask for my phone number...

15. Time is like a butcher's knife. This is true for those who are beautiful. For those who are ugly, time has nothing to do with them.

16. On the train. A man and a woman were anxious, and the man said to the woman in front of the toilet door: "Sister, please let me go first, I can't hold you anymore!" The woman made a cry that sounded like asking for help: "Brother, I should go in first. You still have something to hold on to, but I have nothing to hold on to. My legs are sore!" ”

17. I have practiced Qigong and can make people angry to death.

18. Others are trying to break the wall, so it will definitely be very profitable for me to build the wall.

19. After get off work, you pushed the door open with your tired body, and you lay on the sofa and fell asleep. You have been following me for two years. Not only did you not blame me for being hopeless, you also silently supported me and gave me the warmth I wanted. When I thought of this, all my fatigue disappeared. Baby, when I finish taking a shower, I will come out to replenish your energy.

20. A newly moved neighbor came to my house to say hello. He sighed: "Working in Beijing is too unstable. I have moved twice in one year." , I have no sense of belonging at all." I echoed: "Yes! I was always evicted by the landlord, and I was forced to move twice." He sighed: "I would have never bought so many houses."

21. “Are your grades good?” “Not good” “Are you rich?” “No” “Do you have many friends?” “Not many” “Do you have anyone you like?” “No” “Yes” "Yours?" "No." "Then what's the point of living?" "Eat..."

22. I made a plan during the summer vacation, but it ended up being a p.

23. The five-year-old daughter asked her father to help her with things. Dad: "Dad is very tired. Please praise me a few times. If you praise me a few words, I will feel energetic again." Daughter: "Dad!" Dad: "Hey!" Daughter: "Your Niuniu looks so good." "It's so beautiful."

24. When I was young, my grandma always taught me earnestly, for example: "If you fall, don't cry, speak up and let the person closest to you pay!"

25. A young man always felt that his work was not going well. The kind old chairman listened to his complaints with a smile, picked up a raw egg and put it on the table. The egg rolled to the floor and broke. The old chairman picked up another one and did the same thing. When he picked up the fifth egg, the young man suddenly realized and said: I understand, you are saying that only cooked eggs can stand up. "The old chairman blew out a smoke ring kindly: "What I mean is that if you don't want to do it, get out. "

26. My girlfriend bought a lot of clothes today, but she explained to me poetically: "Because I gained a few pounds of fat in the winter, and this spring is the first time they face the world. , so I want them to appear beautifully and stunningly! ”

27. Grandpa: It’s okay, just go home and don’t do your homework. Grandson: Then my dad has to beat me. Grandpa: Your dad is my son. Grandson: Brother, as long as you say this.

28. I am a teacher! While I was going to the toilet, a student ran over and said, "Teacher, I don't have any paper. Can you give me some paper?" "In line with the moral quality of a teacher, I gave her my paper and asked her to go to the office to get it for me again. It's been a long time since class started, but she hasn't come yet.

29. I've seen cigarette butts in public toilets These are so weak! I went into the public toilet today, and there was a pile of melon seed peels in front of the toilet. Damn, it’s too high!

30. You just stole my wife and opened it for me. What does a green diamond for one year mean?

31. During the exam, the invigilator was sitting next to me. I just felt uncomfortable with my towel, so I secretly pulled on my pants to move them, but the teacher asked me to take them out. .

32. I understand the truth, but I still can’t help but turn my head when I hear someone calling me beautiful.

33. My girlfriend asked me today: “I have a good mind and a good figure.” Which kind of good girls do you like? "I said: "I don't like them all, I only like you! "My girlfriend was so happy after hearing this... She kissed me and ran off to cook for me.

34. Lao Liu will fly home in two days and call him The daughter-in-law said: "If I die and you are still young, find another one and don't be a widow for me. His wife said with tears in her eyes: "I have already found him, and I am just waiting for you to die." "

35. I looked up and saw that love was not there, and the whole universe shed tears.

36. You must look more carefully when looking for a partner now, because there are too many people who are neither men nor women.

37. God has not given me any great responsibility, but it still tortures my mind and body.

38. I don’t even have a life anymore. Where can I find my love life?

39. I shine in this beautiful moment with a superhuman attitude. Don't disturb anyone.

30. I am really a carefree person. As soon as the winter vacation left, I was thinking about the summer vacation.

31. The road to success is always under construction! 2 Funny Sentences Suitable for Posting on Moments

1. Smoking is an art of life; looking for smooching is an attitude towards life.

2. People in the upper class always like to do some obscene things.

3. Don’t seek to be a good match, just seek to feel qualified.

4. Staying up late is because you don’t have the courage to end the day; staying in bed is because you don’t have the courage to start the day.

5. Poor Nike, rich Adidas, gangster wearing Armani.

6. I smoke because it hurts my lungs, not my heart.

7. Just forget about scolding you in normal times. You have to wait until I hit you to realize that I am both civil and military.

8. Life is short, you must be sexy.

9. First line: Maybe it seems like it; second line: But it may not be impossible.

10. There are some things that don’t need to be disputed. You can obey on the surface but resist secretly.

11. Be brave enough to admit your mistakes and never change them.

12. A man is like a dog. Whoever has the ability can lead him away.

13. The oath is just a momentary slip of the tongue.

14. When I woke up early in the morning, I thought I had grown up, but it turned out that the quilt was covered horizontally.

15. Cough! Say what you should say and whisper what you shouldn't.

16. I suggest that everyone should understand my appearance first and appreciate it secondly.

17. From heaven to hell, I am just passing through the world.

18. In fact, I am a homebody. It’s just a matter of whose home I stay at.

19. I am not your little raccoon, and I can’t play with you as much as you want.

20. Whether you are stupid or not depends on whether you can pretend to be stupid.

21. For girls: If you go out to hang out, you will get pregnant sooner or later.

22. When a woman pursues a man, there is a veil between them. Men chase women, and mothers are separated from each other.

23. The people I like are all on the hard drive.

24. Youth, you are so acne-prone!

25. Master, after putting on Lao Na’s cassock, you will be Lao Na’s person.

26. If nothing else happens, I will celebrate Singles’ Day again this year.

27. "Senior, can you help me figure out how to do this question?" "Senior, do you have a boyfriend?" "Yes." "Senior, I don't know how to solve this question either. I can do it.”

28. You are very important: no matter how heavy you are, I want you.

29. As a piece of clothing, you don’t know how to bathe yourself, and you want me to wash it for you. Are you ashamed?

30. You should also learn from Tencent and call me dear every time you go online.

31. Three apples changed the world: one tempted Eve, one woke up Newton, and one was bitten by Steve Jobs.

32. If Google and Baidu merge, will they change their names?

33. I feel that now I am not going to school, but learning from me. Set

34. Never joke at the beach, otherwise it will cause the sea to laugh.

35. I want to have a lot of love. If not, I want to have a lot of money.

36. The three sentences that moved me the most: I will bring you delicious food, I will treat you to delicious food, and I will take you to eat delicious food

37 , the most painful thing in the world is, from holding in your urine in class to the teacher still dragging you in after class.

38. The geography teacher asked: Which are the four oceans? My answer: Pleasant Goat, Beautiful Goat, Lazy Goat, Boiling Goat.

39. Money is like toilet paper. It looks like there is a lot of it, but it disappears as you use it.

40. Ever since I got a girlfriend, I have never had enough food.

41. If you can’t tolerate me, either your mind is too narrow or my personality is too great.

42. My room always looks like a world war has just happened.

43. When it comes to gaining weight, if you have the ability, don’t focus on your waist, focus on your chest.

44. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately - in the end he killed all his students.

45. When you were born, you were crying and everyone was smiling; when you left, you were smiling and everyone was crying.

46. I have applied for personal bankruptcy, please don’t worry, creditors.

47. Some people even said that I wore eye shadow, which was an insult to my dark circles.

48. Since you are waste, then I have no choice but to use waste.

49. Mom: "You are not allowed to say some unintelligible words in the future, do you hear me?" "These are all said by Shakespeare!" "Really, then you are not allowed to play with Shakespeare anymore. ”