Why am I more and more afraid of marriage as the wedding day approaches?

Marriage is a pair of shoes. Only you know whether it is appropriate or not. If you refuse to wear shoes, you may avoid bleeding bubbles because your shoes don't fit, but you may also step on a nail because you walk barefoot. At that time, you may realize that marriage is actually a kind of protection for love. A happy married life is the best way to treat "fear of marriage".

1, worried that "marriage is the grave of love"

Reason for fear: Everyone says that "marriage is the grave of love". Even if love is beautiful, there will be no passion and sweetness when entering marriage, only endless trivialities and troubles. If you didn't get married, you wouldn't have so much trouble. You can enjoy life and love. ...

Tips: To get rid of pre-marital phobia, we must first get rid of the illusion of married life, don't have too high expectations and extravagant hopes, and don't think that your lover is all right and perfect. Honeymoon is really sweeter than honey. We should clearly realize that the birth of a new family means an increase in the burden, which means that both of us should try our best to do our duty for the family and husband and wife.

It should be noted that the sweetness of honeymoon is the result of one's willingness to work hard for one's lover, and it is a mutual contribution and common creation. Require lovers to have the determination to work hard for their lover and small family before marriage, and be tolerant and understanding of their lover's shortcomings.

2, arranged marriage, not knowing enough about the future husband.

Reason for fear: He and I were introduced by relatives. Because we work in two cities, we only met three times in half a year. My family said that we were not young and urged us to get married on May Day. But I still don't know him, his living habits, his circle of friends, or even whether he is single-minded. I wonder if I've talked about his girlfriend. Really helpless. Every time I think about it, it gets bigger. I really don't want to get married. ...

Tips: Both men and women need to constantly strengthen mutual understanding and deepen their feelings, which is the most important psychological preparation before marriage. If this preparation is not sufficient, other preparations will be complete, and the happiness of married life cannot be guaranteed. Even if there are all kinds of material preparations before marriage, it is difficult to make up for the psychological damage and maintain the sincere love between husband and wife. I suggest you get to know each other better before marriage, or have a long talk before marriage, and get to know each other as much as possible, which may eliminate your fear of future marriage.

I'm worried about not getting along well with my mother-in-law.

Reason for fear: I will live under the same roof with my parents-in-law, and everyone's living habits will be exposed, so friction between them is inevitable. Can his parents tolerate me? Can I have a good time in this house?

Tip: Be mentally prepared to adapt to the new life. Before marriage, you should think that there will be significant changes in all aspects of married life, not only with your lover, but also with your parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends. You should learn to live in harmony with them. Before marriage and even for a period of time after marriage, we should create conditions to know and be familiar with those who should know, so as not to feel nervous and make mistakes because many strangers break into our lives after marriage, thus hurting the feelings of husband and wife.

4. Worried that housework can't be finished

Reason for fear: I am the only child in my family. My parents have regarded me as the apple of their eye since I was a child. I haven't done housework, so I'd better tidy up my cabin at most. But after marriage, it's different. You must learn to cook and wash clothes, mop the floor and clean the room. These alone can take up more than half of your rest time ... I really want to live in the shadow of my parents all my life, so there will be no headaches and housework.

Tip: Every woman will be a housewife. Unfortunately, "housewife" is not a word to be proud of in China at present, because the housework related to it has been ignored or even despised by the society and men. We can't let men experience the tedious and hard work of housework as in jokes, but the value of housework, like any other work, is tied to the dignity and value of a housewife and can never be easily taken over. Respect for housework is not only a breakthrough achievement of the new version of the Law on the Protection of Women's Rights and Interests, but also one of the fundamental prerequisites for equality between men and women.

5, worried about extramarital affairs, afraid of divorce

Reason for fear: now open newspapers and the internet, all kinds of derailment and ambiguity are there. Even lovers who have been in love for many years will have seven-year itch and ten-year itch after marriage, which makes people feel flustered. In particular, many people who grew up in single-parent families are particularly afraid of divorce after marriage, so they simply don't get married, fearing that marriage will bring harm to themselves again.

Tips: First, this fear comes from the negative "propaganda" of public opinion on marriage life. Some media "expose" the dark side of marriage by analyzing various marriage problems, so that people with "marriage intentions" feel an invisible pressure, which leads to excessive anxiety about the "direction" of marriage life and fear of marriage failure; Another reason is that one party is not very satisfied with some aspects of the other party, or doubts whether some shortcomings of the other party can be changed after marriage and whether they can adapt themselves.

It is suggested to read more reports about happy marriage and understand that affair and infidelity are only a few cases in marriage. Believe in love and marriage, and at the same time learn some tips to warm up love. As long as you manage it carefully, marriage will be really beautiful!

6. Worried that getting married will affect your job and future.

Reason for fear: Who doesn't want someone to love someone and hurt someone and end their single life early, but getting married is not necessarily a good thing for women. Nowadays, the employment competition is so fierce that many female undergraduates who just graduated can't find jobs, let alone married women. I have been afraid to get married because I am afraid that my competitiveness will be reduced after marriage. I haven't seen many companies directly ask you "Are you married" when recruiting? In order to find a satisfactory job, many women have to hide their married status and become new urban hermits. ...

Tips: Getting married and having children is a necessary stage for a woman. If a 22-year-old woman wins her favor with a little youth and cleverness, then a 28-year-old woman needs to be steady and capable. A while ago, there was a case in which a 30-year-old unmarried woman applied for a job in a company, and her ability and experience were recognized by the company. But only one thing, the company expressed doubt that she was unmarried at the age of 30, worried that her personality was flawed, and finally rejected her.

Therefore, it is completely unnecessary for older women not to get married for work. As long as children are not born early, normal marriage and childbirth should be considered by both companies and individuals.

7. Worried about not being free after marriage

Reason for fear: I have always been used to freedom. If I really want to get married and have children and be a housewife, I really can't stand it. When I am unmarried, I can go clubbing, smoke, sleep as late as I want, have an affair with friends of the opposite sex, and call a group of girlfriends to get together at home ... After I get married, I am not so free. I have to take care of my husband's mood and her mother-in-law's face. ...

Tip: Try to bear it. In the early days of love life, people who are used to being single may have many unaccustomed feelings, such as hating each other every day, such as the trivial things in life, but don't give up easily anyway. You might as well set yourself a period of three months, during which you will try your best to shoulder your share of responsibility. After the psychological adaptation period, your confidence in love and family will surely grow rapidly.

8. I am worried about losing my charm after marriage, and no one is pursuing it.

Reason for fear: I really enjoy being chased now. If I never get married, there will always be these spoony men following me. Women's unmarried is the biggest capital, so they can enjoy men's love to the fullest, and they don't have to be a yellow-faced woman like housewives. I can't imagine, if one day I get married and no one is chasing me, who will I show my charm to?

Tips: Getting married doesn't mean going to the grave. Married women can also have their own charm and circle of friends. Of course, this circle of friends doesn't mean that you have to be ambiguous with men and show love with others at arm's length. It means that you can keep a pure friendship with men, which is the so-called "blue confidante" that is popular now.

Every woman always has such a complex in her bones and wants to have a blue confidante. This Lan Yan is not a husband or a lover, but the person who lives in her spiritual field. He may not be handsome, but he must be mature, reliable and considerate. In a woman's dream, I always expect to meet such a man. Once they meet, their loneliness and weakness have a place to live.

9. I'm afraid he is not my favorite person.

Reason for fear: He is my college classmate. We were in love for eight years in a marathon. Now my family is urging us to get married. Although it looks natural, I have never been happy in my heart. Because of long-term contacts, we have no feeling of heartbeat, only a tacit understanding like relatives and a life like warm water. The closer I get to getting married, the more scared I am. I'm afraid he's not my favorite. I'm afraid he is just a good marriage partner and won't bring me passion. ...

Tip: Although he may not be your favorite person, he is your closest person now and in the future! Some love is always beautiful from a distance, some are sweet or treasured, and the person you love most is not necessarily suitable for being your husband. Cherish the present, you will be the happiest bride!