Where can I find the script for the funny version of Snow White?

Script: Snow White

Narration: Now please enjoy the play of class 020700: Snow White. I am the narrator.

Narration: On a dark night, there was a little girl dressed in black running in panic in the dark forest. (The princess comes on stage, running around in black clothes) She is in ragged clothes and looks haggard. She looks back from time to time, but does not dare to stop. Suddenly, she found a small house in front of her. Exhausted, she could no longer hold on and fell down. (The princess fell down and stood up with her butt raised. She pushed the door and it didn’t open for a long time; she pulled the door and opened it.)

Princess: Food! I want bread too! Apple wants it too! Oh my god, even the vegetable leaves are not spared! !

(The princess was sitting on a chair eating and burping)

Narration: After eating and drinking, she felt very tired and wanted to rest, so she quickly fell asleep...

Narration: ...Soon, the owners of the house came back. They were seven dwarfs who were mining gold in the mountains:

(The dwarves are wearing the uniform of the basketball team, Go up, tell yourself the name of the fruit, dance and sing (Guoguo~~))

Snow: Turn left~! (Everyone can repost as they please) Report the number! (Everyone reported nonsense) There's really nothing I can do against you...turn right.

Snow: (kicks the door, sees the princess shouting) dragen!

(holds hands, rubs in)

Snow: dragen! Fight!

(Everyone is fighting, Xue is doing push-hand movements and bodybuilding movements in front, while the narration sings "Chinese Kung Fu")

Princess: Don't hit me in the face, don't hit me in the face~~

Peng Peng: Wow, beauty~~

Xue: Stop!

(Everyone jumps back, the princess rises and looks at everyone)

Ling: (hugging Xiaoyu, voiced by Gong Li in The Great Historian) She is considered a beauty...

BEACH: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

Princess: Hello everyone, my name is Snow White. I am 5 years old, in kindergarten, and not married yet.

The thing is actually like this...

(On the mirror, bow, take out something, take out something for a long time, take out the newspaper, unfold it, write "Magic Mirror" on the newspaper, close the newspaper, take it back )

(Enter the Queen, wearing a beautiful kitchen apron, rubbing against the mirror)

The Queen: Mirror! Mirror! Tell me the truth, who is the most beautiful woman here?

Mirror: (Singing: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL~~YOU ARE SO HANDSOME~~) Queen Mother, you are indeed a very beautiful woman.

Mother: Average~ (raises hands) Hahaha! Hahaha! I am the most beautiful woman in the world! ! !

Mirror: But, but, (while speaking, he retreated) Snow White is more beautiful than you.

Mother: (crazy)... (meditating) (snaps fingers) waiter!

Brick: (sunglasses, holding a toothpick, swaying, rubbing against the mother) Oh my god~

My mother: (push)...you haven’t brushed your teeth, have you?

Brick: I am KAO, you can see this too

Queen Mother: Let me tell you something serious, there is a princess named Snow White, you helped me make her!

Brick: Tell me, how much is it?

Queen Mother: Two million, how about it?

Brick: (spits out toothpick) Two million? No, no, man, I have a normal mind and don't even have a pen. I've traveled all over the country and I still enjoy spicy food. Two million won't do.

Queen Mother: Do you have Xiaomi? Xiaomi, do you have it? (While talking and walking up) How about I find you someone like Zhao Benshan?

Brick: (Weisi) Deal!

Mother: (hugging her and whispering) But you have to be clean and neat under your hands!

Brick: Got it! No pa!

Mother: Hahaha! Hahaha! (End)

(Brick turned around and squatted down to put things in his clothes)

Princess: Next, we invite today’s special guest—handsome and unrestrained, Yushu Linfeng, known as Jade The killer of Xiaofeilong adobe, brackets, bricks, brackets are finished, comrade.

Brick: (jumps around, makes a super-killing gesture, and smiles stupidly)

Princess: On a night when I can’t see my toes, (voice mentions) him, he, he, he … He grabbed my left hand, (Brick grabbed the princess’s left hand), then, he, he, he... He grabbed my right hand again, (the two turned 180 degrees, Brick grabbed the princess’s right hand), and then, he,... (calmly) He danced with me. From then on, I fell into his beauty trap. One day, he said he wanted to take me to Yuyuantan to see the cherry blossoms. (The two of them took a revolutionary pose) Suddenly, his expression changed and he took out from his arms, (Brick took out a small gadget), (Brick took out a small gadget again), (Brick took out a small gadget again) , took out a knife! (Brick took out a knife (comb) and combed his hair)

(Brick used the knife to stop the princess, and the princess made a girlish gesture while retreating)

Princess: No, no, no, I am It’s a girl~~

Brick: (bows down, sighs, suddenly stands up, hands wiping hair, POSE) Wrong, wrong, wrong, spring is as old as ever, people are empty and thin, tears stains are red and see through; (singing) : I am always too soft-hearted, (Everyone: Too soft-hearted) (Changing to Peking Opera tune): Take all the problems on your own! ) (Said to Snow White:) Go away, I won’t kill you!

(Suddenly the two of them were serious, facing the audience side by side)

Princess: Thank you to reporter Shui Yongyuan from the front

Brick: Cui Junyi

Two S: Reporting from Baghdad.

Brick: Turn right and walk together!

(The two turn down the road)

Narration: This is the end of Snow White’s memories, and the story returns to the beginning scene. At this time, the seven dwarfs discuss whether to keep Snow White.

(The dwarfs gathered in a circle and recited the tongue twister (grapes...). Snow White wanted everyone to decide, and everyone voted)

(Everyone stood up. Snow clapped her hands, turned around and faced the audience )

Snow: That’s it! If there are difficulties, you should help. If there are no difficulties, you should help if they create difficulties~~~~

Narration: In this way, the seven dwarfs go to the mountains to look for gold and silver every day, while Snow White stays at home and does some housework. live.

(The dwarf exited as if stealing something; Snow exited from the other side)

Narration: After the servant returned, the queen thought Snow White was dead. Now, she must be the most beautiful woman in the world

(The Queen pulls up the mirror and pins a white cross next to the mirror and glasses)

The Queen: (Rubs the mirror) Mirror! Mirror! Tell me the truth, who is the most beautiful of all the women here.

Mirror: You are still beautiful, but (waves hand, retreats, escapes) Snow White is more beautiful than you.

Queen Mother: This servant is really useless, I have to do it myself.

(The queen comes down, the princess comes up, eats)

(The queen comes up, with an umbrella, and walnuts in the front pocket of the apron)

(The queen knocks on the door , Princess opens)

Princess: Did you bring a small umbrella?

Mother: Bring it, give it.

(Hands over the umbrella)

Princess: You really brought it, (looks at the umbrella) Not bad, um, not bad, here it is (return it)

Queen Mother: What? No more.

Princess: (Shrugging, owed) It’s not raining~~~

Queen Mother: So, do you want walnuts?

Princess: Do you have any carrots?

Queen Mother: Do you want walnuts?

Princess: Do you have any carrots?

Queen Mother: (Loudly) What I’m asking is: Do you want walnuts? !

Princess: Oh, walnuts... Do you have any carrots?

(The queen mother yelled, knocked the princess down on the chair with an umbrella, took out the walnuts, and wanted to feed them)

Princess: (open eyes, serious) This walnut is poisonous (closed) Eyes, pour, the mother feeds walnuts)

(The mother laughs) Hahaha! Hahaha!

(Hold an umbrella and sing: You are happy~~Oh, I am happy~~, Part 2)

Narration: Snow White’s death is like a meteor passing through the midnight. Years later, whenever When I look up at the lonely starry sky, I always think of this sentence: "Some people's death is heavier than Mount Tai, while some people's death is lighter than a feather, lighter than a feather..."

(Dwarf Go up, form a team, enter the door, see a princess, surrounded by a semicircle)

Ding: (looking at the princess) Hey, pig, don’t sleep, come to work!

(Seeing that she has no reaction, Jia tests her breathing and behaves like an idiot)

Jia: She is dead...

Xue: (Touch her, Make a panic look and look at Peng Peng) She is dead!

(Everyone repeated: "She is dead!" After Ling said this, everyone covered their faces and cried, and at the same time took out toilet paper from their pockets, tore it up and threw it away)

Narration: At this time, the prince from a neighboring country happened to come here to hunt.

(Prince, enter, use the sheet as a cloak, make a small airplane shape, run twice, run to the side, and ask)

Prince: Who is this~~

Jia: We have nothing to do with her...

BEACH: (covers Jia's mouth, receiving) We have nothing to do with him!

Everyone: It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter.

Peng Peng: Actually, she is a beauty!

(Everyone flashes, the prince looks around the princess, stop)

Prince: I KAO, this is also a beauty! (Princess Bian, the princess spits out walnuts and wakes up)

Princess: (Yelling) Which of you will fucking beat me, who! who! (Looking at the prince, the prince turns back and flashes) Is it you? (Charges towards the prince, everyone pulls, the princess throws away everyone, throws away, rushes out, stops, turns around) KAO, why don’t you pull me! (Turns to look at the prince, the prince looks back)

Princess: (looking like a girl) Handsome guy~~

(The prince looks down)

Princess: (to the audience, mature Male voice) Beautiful! So beautiful!

Narration: Snow White fell in love with the prince. (The princess hugs the prince and brings him to the center of the stage, and the dwarfs stand in a row behind them) They are getting married, but at the wedding, the queen comes.

(Enter the queen, looking sneaky)

Prince: Do you have any special clothes?

Princess: No!

(The dwarf is exaggerating)

(BEACH sees the Queen)

BEACH: (referring to the Queen) Look, isn’t that the aunt selling walnuts?

(The dwarf pulled the queen onto a chair and surrounded her in a semicircle)

The queen: What are you doing! What are you doing!

Xue: (bends to face mother) Let me tell you what happened!

The Queen Mother (?)

The dwarves (each one said one sentence and a half): Leslie Cheung is dead, Gao Feng is also dead, how did Leslie Cheung die? Died of atypical pneumonia. He was deficient in iodine, which caused kidney failure. The water flowed downwards to his ankles, which became swollen. How did Gao Feng die? Peak iron deficiency. That's because Li Tie went to the UK, wasn't there Chen Gang? Steel is harder than iron, no matter how hard it is. What kind of oil did you use? Gutter oil, gutter oil is oil refined from ditches.

The United States is attacking Iraq just for gutter oil! American movies are so good! Then let’s watch American movies next week, then let’s watch Chinese ones! How about we watch Farewell My Concubine....? Farewell My Concubine was played by Leslie Cheung, and Leslie Cheung is dead...

(The Queen Mother shouted, stamped the ground, stood up, everyone dispersed, and the audience was silent)

The Queen Mother: (Revolutionary status ) I am Xiao Ming! (Changing directions) I want to go to school! (Singing: Xiao Ya Mo Xiao Erlang~~~ (pretending to be crazy))

Everyone: Hahaha! Hahaha!

(Everyone stood in a row at the back, Snow continued to laugh, but when everyone stopped, she looked embarrassed, bowed, and stood beside everyone)

Narration: The Queen is crazy, Snow White and After the prince got married, his happy life was full of joy and happiness, and they lived happily together all their lives. This is the end of our drama. Thank you for your attention. I am the narrator. )

Everyone came on stage, bowed, and called the curtain.