Humorous English jokes, one minute, I want to compete.

A man went to church and started talking to God.

He said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "a penny", and then the man said, "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "One second", and then the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said, "Right away."

A man went to church to pray.

He said, "God, what does a million dollars mean to you?" God said, "A penny!" Then he asked, "What is that one million years to you?" God replied, "One second." Passerby A couldn't help it: "Dear God, please give me a penny!" " God replied, "wait a minute!" " .

I have his ears in my pocket.

Ivan came home with a bloody nose. His mother asked, "What happened?"

"A child bit me," Ivan replied.

"Can you recognize him if you see him again?" His mother asked.

"I know where he is," Ivan said. "His ears are in my pocket."

His ear is in my pocket.

Ivan came home with a nosebleed. His mother asked, "What's the matter?"

"A boy bit me," Ivan said.

"Can you recognize him when you see him again?" Mom asked.

"I can recognize him wherever he goes," Ivan said. "His ears are still in my pocket."

He won

Tommy: Johnny, how is your little brother? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played a game to see who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

He won

Tom: Johnny, how is your little brother?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He's hurt.

Tom: That's too bad. What happened?

Johnny: We played a game to see who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

Jim's history exam

Uncle: How did Jim do in his history exam?

Mother: Oh, it's not good at all, but it's not his fault. They asked him.

What happened before the poor boy was born.

Jim's history exam

Uncle: How did Jim do in his history exam?

Mother: Oh, that's terrible. But then again, I can't blame him. Hey, they asked so many questions.

Before the poor child was born.

A girl like her mother

No matter which girl he takes home, the young man finds that his mother disapproves. A friend gave him advice.

"Find a girl like your mother-then she will definitely like her."

So the young man searched and searched and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser:

"As you said, I found a girl who looks, talks, dresses and even cooks like her mother. As you said, mom likes her. "

"So," the friend asked, "what happened?"

"Nothing," said the young man. "My father hates her!"

A girl like her mother.

No matter which girl he takes home, the young man will always be opposed by his mother. A friend advised him to say:

"Find a girl like your mother-then she will like her."

So the young man kept looking and finally found such a girl.

He said to his friendly adviser:

"As you said, I found a girl who looks like my mother, talks, dresses and even cooks. As you said, my mother likes her. "

"What happened later?" The friend asked.

"Nothing," said the young man. "My father hates her!"