A joke that can't be told outside

1. I usually forget to scold you. You didn't know you were both civil and military until you hit him.

I draw circles on my calendar every day. It was not until Sunday that I discovered that my life was an ellipsis.

3. Lovers will eventually become house slaves, and those who have houses will eventually become families.

Galvanized coffins are durable, but wooden coffins are good for health.

Xiaoming asked his father to tell him a story. Dad said do you want to listen to the long one or the short one? Xiaoming: Dragon! Dad: Once upon a time, there was a fly that buzzed, buzzed, buzzed, buzzed, buzzed … Xiaoming: Dad, you'd better make a long story short! Dad: Once upon a time, there was a fly, hum, bang!

6. In order to attract business, Hot Pot City wrote a sentence on the billboard: "Self-help hot pot, each 30 yuan, free for children under the height of 1 meter." My aunt in kindergarten was very excited after reading it. With money from 30 yuan, she led 50 children in her class to Hotpot City.

7. A child asked a rich man, Sir, why are you so rich? The rich man said: I had nothing like you when I was a child. My father gave me an apple, so I sold it, bought two more apples with the money I earned, and then sold it to buy four more apples. The child said thoughtfully, sir, I seem to understand. Mr. millionaire said, you know your sister. Later, when my father died, I inherited all his inheritance. "

8. A loyal party member died. God didn't want to accept the soul of an atheist in heaven, so he sent him to hell. A month later, the prince came sweating and said, "Take that man away quickly. He has trained almost all my children to be young pioneers! " God accepted it, and another month later, the prince gloated and asked God, "Where is party member?" "God said," First of all, please call me Comrade ... "

9. Who has more loyal bodyguards, China or the United States? The United States * * ordered the bodyguard to jump off the 10 floor, and the bodyguard knelt down and said, "Come on, I have family." . So the president of the United States gave in. China * * * ordered the bodyguard to jump, and China's bodyguard was about to jump without saying anything. The president of the United States quickly caught him in fear. China's bodyguard said, "Come on, I have a family.