A short joke

The joke is just 20 words. In life, I believe many friends have the habit of reading. Whether in life, study or work, they will use the reading function. As the saying goes, there is no end to learning, and it is never too old to learn. Here I put this joke in a simple order.

Short joke 1 1, a loyal party member died. God didn't want to know the soul of an atheist in heaven, so he sent him to hell. A month later, the prince came sweating and said, "Take that man away quickly. He has trained almost all my children to be young pioneers! " God understood, and after another month, the prince gloated and asked God, "What happened to that party member?" God said, "First of all, please call me * * ..."

2. The history teacher said: The order of unifying the six countries in the Qin Dynasty can be recorded as: Call Zhao Wei to action! (Zhao Han Weichu Yanqi)

Giraffe said: Rabbit, I hope you can know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what I eat delicious, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. The rabbit looked at him blankly. In summer, rabbit, cold water slowly flows through my long neck. It's delicious. What a long neck! Rabbit, can you imagine? The rabbit said slowly, did you throw up?

It is said that the sandstorm blew to Taiwan Province province. Many old people took to the streets, spread out their hands, looked up at the sky, burst into tears, took a deep breath and said excitedly, for many years, for many years, they finally smelled the soil in their hometown.

Before getting married, I think boys are the most handsome when they play basketball. After marriage, I suddenly found that it is the most exciting thing for men to cook, wash dishes and clean up the house!

6. What is a brother? Brother, you are lying in bed when you are old. I asked you to drink water. You shake your head. Eat fruit? You still shake your head. I asked again: Find a girl for you? You open your eyes with tears in your eyes. Brother, help me up and try.

7. I had an opportunity to add clothes before, and I didn't cherish it until I caught a cold. If God gives me another chance to start over, I will not hesitate to add all my clothes.

8. The National Development and Reform Commission will raise the price of gasoline and diesel by RMB per ton from 0: 00/month 1 day. After receiving the news, people all over the country said that the price increase of oil products does not include waste oil, so it has little impact on real life.

9. On the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her, Don't you know I'm pregnant? See that person says nervously only: "the child is not mine!" "

10, Xiao Di MM has a swimming class for the first time. An hour later, she said to the coach, "I think, is today the day to practice there?" "Why?" "I really can't drink any more."

1 1, Weaver Girl went down the mountain to take a bath and got to know Cowherd, and interpreted an emotional story that made the gods cry. This tells us that there is no chance to take a bath at home, so it is necessary to take a bath outside.

12, Jing m Guo, a seven-foot man; Chris Lee, a good family; Model husband Yang Zhenning; Have a pure heart and want nothing; Wu Ailan, a chaste and heroic woman; The United States is in dire straits; Democratic and free Korea, the origin of the world is South Korea.

13, a child asked a rich man: Sir, why are you so rich? The rich man said: I had nothing like you when I was a child. My father gave me an apple, so I sold it, bought two more apples with the money I earned, and then sold it to buy four more apples. The child said thoughtfully, sir, I seem to understand. Mr. Millionaire said: You know your sister, and then my father died, and I inherited all his inheritance.

14, the soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

15. When the bull was running, he saw a cow grazing on the roadside and said to the cow eagerly, "Run, the expert is coming." Niu: "What are you afraid of when experts come? Aren't experts human? " Bull: "The expert is bragging at the moment." When the cow heard this, she was afraid. Huan Zi ran to the bull and asked, "Expert bragged B, you are a bull. What are you afraid of? " The bull said, "You really don't know. At present, experts can talk nonsense except B. "

16, the woman is ugly and can't get married, expecting to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. When the kidnapper brought it back, she insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, the car is not good!

17, Judge: Why do you want to print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently: because I can't print real money!

18 patient: "doctor, you left your scissors in my stomach." "Never mind, I have another one."

19 years ago, my father held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child, and my father cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm hungry. "

20. Once upon a time, there was a cucumber. She felt that there were too many pimples on her face, so she sliced it herself and applied it to her face.

Joke Introduction 2 happy event Joke 1

1, the driving school examiner is here to cheat the case:

The examiner asked the students who were taking the exam.

Examiner: Are you a foreigner?

Student: Well, I am.

Examiner: Where are you from? Xinjiang?

Student: Well, yes.

Examiner: I heard that the watermelons there are very big and delicious!

Student (excited): Hehe, that's right. ...

Examiner: How big is the biggest watermelon in your place?

Student (throwing away the steering wheel with both hands, comparing hands): How big!

Examiner: OK, stop and change people. You can take the exam next time. ...

2. Will you love me?

Woman: Maybe!

M: Then what will you fall in love with me?

Woman: If you love someone, you must love everything about him!

Man: (panicking) but ... but I have nothing!

Woman: (embarrassed to say) I can't help it. You caught someone lying for the first time.

2. Zhu Xiao bought an umbrella from the stall, took it home, pressed the spring, and heard a bang, and the umbrella bone flew in all directions, and it could never be taken back.

Zhu Xiao angrily found the vendor to argue. The stall owner spread out his hands and said, "What you bought was automatic. What else? "

Happy hour joke 2

1, economist goes to barber shop

Sit down and say: just trim your beard, don't cut your hair, don't oil it, don't wash your hair, don't shave, don't knock on your back, don't dig your ears, don't electrocute your face, and don't wipe off the dust on your shoes. ...

The barber asked: Do you want to wipe some soap bubbles first?

2. One day, a swordsman and a swordsman decided to compete.

Swordsman: "Are you ready? I won't let you see the sun tomorrow morning! "

Knife man: "hahaha ... the weather forecast says it will be cloudy tomorrow."

Less than ten minutes after the wake-up call sounded, the soldiers lined up on the playground. The lieutenant stopped in front of a soldier.

"Why don't you shave?" The soldier touched his face in surprise and then replied, "We shared a mirror with seven people this morning, and I probably shaved someone else's beard."

The old lady took a taxi and kept saying to the driver, "You should drive slowly and be careful. Please don't leave until the police let go. " There is a lot of water on the road, so don't make a sharp turn. "

The driver was angry: "OK, madam, but if we really had an accident, which hospital would you like to go to?"

Joke introduction 3 1, I swear, all previous oaths will be cancelled from now on! I swear I will never swear again!

In the pigsty, you don't have to pay attention to human etiquette.

3. Forgive me for dressing up beautifully, holding a fountain pen, frowning and writing hard, just to get to the bottom of Xueba.

When you speak ill of me, can you stop embellishing it and think it's cooking?

5. It's on my bed. I don't know whose daughter-in-law, nor does my daughter-in-law know whose bed this is!

6. I made a mistake at the first stroke and had to scribble all the way.

7. Who said the teacher was sorry for the abbot? Has anyone considered the feelings of Taoist priests?

8, sample, see I don't commit suicide!

9. Don't mess with me! Believe it or not, I fanned you on the wall and couldn't take it off.

10, we have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I hope she treats gold as dung.

1 1, diaosi will attack eventually, and auricularia will not return to powder.

12, do you think the sourest feeling is jealousy? No, the sourest feeling is that you have no right to be jealous.

13, it's not necessarily monks who burn incense, but pandas!

14, the north wind blows, the autumn wind is cool, whose wife keeps the house, and I will help you if you are in trouble. I live next door. My name is Wang.

15, a man gives a woman a bra to show that he wants to establish a lover relationship; A woman gives a man underwear, which means there is a lover relationship.

16, close your eyes and fantasize about growing old with you. Tears streamed down her face.

17, the flies in the crown are not more noble than those in the toilet.

18, I can't speak. I stutter when I see many people, like a sheep taking a shit. Please forgive me if it's not to your taste.

19, sometimes I drank a little wine and couldn't figure it out by the cold moonlight. Why should I come down to earth?