Do you have any funny jokes?

1 What will the wine that has been buried in the ground for a thousand years be called when it comes out?

Answer: alcohol

2 There is a pig, it walks and walks, After arriving in England, what did he become?

Answer: Pig

3 In class, the teacher randomly checked and memorized the text. The piglets, puppies, and kittens all raised their hands. The teacher would Who to call?

Answer: Puppy, because of Wangwang Senbei

4 Butterflies, ants, spiders, centipedes, they work together, which one does not get paid in the end?

Answer: Centipede, no reward for no merit

5 The elephant in the zoo has the longest trunk, so who is the second longest?

Answer: Little Elephant

6 Which fruit has the worst eyesight?

Answer: Mango

7 Which two vegetables have mobile phones?

Answer: Carrots and greens, each has its own love

8 A turtle walked across a pile of poop, but only left three footprints on it. Why?

Answer: There is a foot holding the nose

9 Why do people go to bed to sleep?

Answer: The bed does not come by itself

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10 It turns out that there were actually 800 Spartan warriors. Why did it become 300 in the movie?

Answer: Wu Bai went to sing

11 Why can Xiaoqiang stop the car with one hand?

Answer: Taxi

12 If there is a car with a prince as the driver and a princess as the passenger, whose car does it belong to?

Answer: If

13 metal, wood, water, fire and earth, who has the longer legs?

Answer: Ham sausage

1 Who in the world gets old all of a sudden?

Answer: Bride. Because today she is the bride and tomorrow she will be the wife.

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2 How much is a heart worth?

Answer: 100 million. Because you are single-minded!

3 How much money should you bring with you to go out in typhoon weather?

Answer: 40 million. Because of the typhoon weather, don’t go out unless you have something to do.

4 It’s time to take an exam, what books can’t be read?

Answer: Encyclopedia ( Encyclopedia loses all).

5 If the end of the world is tomorrow, why do some people want to commit suicide today?

[Answer] Go to heaven and get a place

6 Question: What are you afraid of cloth and paper?

Answer: Cloth is afraid of ten thousand, paper is afraid of nothing.

Reason: Don’t be afraid of ten thousand (cloth), just be afraid of something unexpected (paper).

7 Question: What is the last name of Pencil?

Answer: Xiao

Reason: Sharpen (Xiao) pencil.

8 Question: What will the unicorn become when it reaches the North Pole?

Answer: ice cream.

Reason: Ice cream (Ice Kirin).

9 Question: Which number from 1 to 9 is the most diligent and which number is the laziest?

Answer: 1 Lazy; 2 Hardworking

Reasons: One (1) does not do it and two (2) does not stop.

10 Question: How to make a sparrow quiet?

Answer: Press it.

Reason: silence.

11 Question: Who is the fastest runner in history?

Answer: Cao Cao

Reason: It is said that Cao Cao arrived

12 Question: Which number from 30 to 50 is worse than a bear’s poop!

Answer: 40

Reason: Facts speak louder than a bear’s (bear) argument

13 Question: What should I do if a pig escapes from the pigsty?

Answer: Wang Leehom

Reason: Coaxing inward

14 Question: What should I do if it comes out again?

Answer: Han Hong

Reason: Still coaxing

15 September 28 is the birthday of Confucius, so what day is October 28?

Answer: Confucius Full Moon

16 The wolf is coming (guess the fruit)?

Answer: Star Tao (Sheep Flee)

17 What would the world be like if Mr. Jiang (Chiang Kai-shek) was still alive?

Answer: One more person...

18 Are there carps (four-character idiom) under these two pieces of ice?

Answer: Polite (Bingbing) (There are carps)

19 Why can tofu hurt people?

Answer: Because it is frozen tofu

20 There was an accident on a bus, and everyone was He was injured, but why was Xiao Ming okay?

Answer: Because he is not in the car

21 There is a place that can be entered or exited. What is this place?

Answer: Grave

22 In the 100-meter race between chicken and goose, the chicken runs faster than the goose. Why does it arrive at the finish line later?

Answer: The chicken ran in the wrong direction

23 The class bell rang in the east , but no classmates are in the classroom. What's going on?

Answer: She is in physical education class

24 Lingling has never studied arithmetic, but the teacher praises her as one of the best in mathematics. Why?

Answer: From Count to two

25 When Columbus stepped into the New World with one foot, what did he do next?

Answer: Step with the other foot

26 Someone It is said that eating fish can prevent myopia. Why?

Answer: Have you ever seen a cat wearing eyes

27 What has no tongue in its mouth

Answer: A teapot spout

28 What does it look like? The official can't give orders, but he has to laugh at others all the time?

Answer: Xinlangguan

29 A policeman ran away when he saw a thief. Why?

Answer: I want to catch the thief quickly

30 Xiaoming eats chewing gum every day, but others still say he has bad breath. Why?

Answer: He swears every day.

31 Why can frogs jump higher than trees?

Answer: Because trees cannot jump

32 "You stand with a pig", guess an animal

Answer: Elephant (like)

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33 Lao Wang shaves forty or fifty times a day, but he still has a beard on his face. What is the reason?

Answer: Lao Wang is a barber

34 What flowers cannot be touched

Answer: Sparks

35 What can be used to unlock all the flowers? The mystery?

Answer: Answer

3 6 When will the clock in Times Square ring 13 times?

Answer: It’s time to repair

37 In ancient times, who became a father-in-law before becoming a father?

Answer: Eunuch

38 When someone knocks on the door, you would never say please come in?

Answer: When going to the toilet

39 Is black chicken more powerful or white chicken? Why?

Answer: Black chicken is more powerful and can lay white eggs. Chickens cannot lay black eggs.

40 Why do everyone like to sit and watch movies?

Answer: Because standing and watching will make your feet sore

41 What will be the impact of abolishing morning self-study?

Answer: Sleep less for half an hour

42 Let the tortoise and the hare race, and let the pig be the referee. Who will win?

Answer: Can’t say! The person who said it was a pig...

43 What is the similarity between what two women said and what a thousand ducks said?

Answer: Nonsense (chicken) talk

44 The farmer has a pig and a donkey at home. During the Chinese New Year, do you think the farmer should kill the pig or the donkey first?

Answer: Would you rather kill a pig (silly pig) or a donkey (silly donkey)

45 Why doesn’t the plane hit the stars when it flies so high?

Answer: Because the stars will "flash"

46 One day, he was walking on the street with a medium-rare steak. Suddenly he saw a medium-rare steak in front of him. But he ignored him.

Why didn't they say hello?

Answer: Because they are not familiar with it

1 Who is the King of Beasts? ●Zoo Director

2 What kind of person will appear after death? ●People in the movie

3 What kind of hat cannot be worn?●Nut hat

4 What kind of book can’t be bought in the bookstore?●Suicide note

5 Elephant’s What does the left ear look like? ●Right ear

6 What water can never be used up?●Tears

7 What has five heads, but people don’t think it is strange?●Hands and feet

8 The family asked the doctor about the patient's condition, but the doctor only raised 5 fingers, and the family cried. What was the reason? ●Three longs and two shorts

9 Put a chicken and a goose at the same time On the iceberg, why did the chicken die but not the goose? ●The goose is the penguin

10 Which English letters do people like to listen to and are listened to by the most people? ●CD

11 What is the secret of human longevity? ●Keep breathing, don’t stop breathing

12 The angrier something gets, the bigger it becomes? ●Temperature

13 What is the flower that blooms all year round? ●Plastic flower

14 Why does Chang'e like to live on the moon? ●Chang moth likes to eat rabbit meat

15 Where is the narrowest road? ●Enemies meet on a narrow road

16 What is the name of farting before death? ●Absolute sound

17 When does someone knock on the door and you never say please come in? ●In the toilet

18 What is the smallest island in the world? ●Safety island on the road

19 When the earth explodes, which place is the safest? ●Hell

20 A group of henpecked men are gathering together to discuss how to restore the glory of manhood. Suddenly they heard that their wives were coming. Everyone ran away except one person. Why? ●I fainted from fear

21 What is in the middle of the Pacific Ocean? ●It is the character "平"

22 What character is commonly used all over the world? ●Arabic numerals

23 A child and an adult are walking in the dark night. The child is the adult’s son, but the adult is not the child’s father. Why? ●Because they have a mother-son relationship

24 Two pairs of father and son went to buy hats. Why did they only buy three hats? ●Grandpa, father and son

25 Why can’t the egg be broken with a hammer? ●Of course the hammer won't break

26 A man was being chased by a tiger. Suddenly there was a big river in front of him. He couldn't swim, but he passed by. Why? ●Fainted

27 The world boxing champion is easily knocked down by what? ●Sleepy

28 There is a four-character idiom about a woman who has been divorced several times? ●The ex-husband (gong) has exhausted his energy (abandoned)

29 What is the worst thing for a person who stutters? ●Making long-distance calls

30 What did Columbus do next after he stepped into the New World? ●Step on the other foot

31 Is "Kiss" a verb, adjective or noun? ●Conjunction

32 After the heart transplant operation failed, the doctor asked the patient who was about to expire what he wanted to say. Tell me, what do you think he will say? ●Actually, you don’t understand my heart

33 Why do men have to fistfight when they drink together? ●If you don’t eat the toast, you will have to drink as a penalty

34 If 8 is divided into two halves, what is the number? ●0

35 When will the sun rise from the west? ●When swearing

36 There is a newborn baby. There are two children born in the same year, the same month and the same day as him, and they were born to the same parents, but they are not twins. Is this possible? ●Maybe, they are triplets

37 What is the first thing everyone should do when they wake up in the morning? ●Open your eyes

38 A new hospital has opened in the city, with advanced equipment and considerate services.

But the strange thing is: not a single patient is admitted here. Why is this? ● This is a veterinary hospital

39 In winter, how can we turn ice into water immediately without heating? ●Remove two points from the ice

40 A hungry cat walked past a fat mouse. Why did the hungry old cat remain indifferent and continue walking on its path without even looking at this? A mouse?●A blind cat encounters a dead mouse

41 Why does the peacock fly to the southeast instead of the northwest? ●Because there is a high wall in the northwest

42 A truck driver and a motorcyclist collided. The truck driver was seriously injured, but the motorcyclist was fine. Why? ●The truck driver was not driving at the time

43 Xiao Ming’s mother has three sons. The eldest only son is called Da Ming, and the second son is called Er Ming. What is the name of the third son? ●Of course my name is Xiao Ming

44 There was a young man who wanted to cross a river to do something; however, there was no boat or bridge in this river. So he swam across the river in the morning, and he swam to the other side in just an hour. That afternoon, the width and flow rate of the river had not changed. More importantly, his swimming speed had not changed either, but it took him two It took half an hour to swim to the other side of the river. Why do you think it was? ●Two and a half hours add up to one hour

45 There was a large ship on the sea. Its original capacity was 60 people. As a result, when the 59th person was on board, it sank. Into the sea! Why is this (there are no pregnant or overweight people in the boat; there are no heavy objects on the boat)? ●Don’t be nervous, it is a submarine

46 God doesn’t know what the earth knows, you don’t know and I know ? ● The soles of the shoes are broken

47 There are two people, one facing south and one facing north. They are not allowed to look back, move around, or look in the mirror. Ask them if they can see each other’s eyes. Face? ●Of course, they are standing face to face

48 What kind of eggs cannot be beaten, cooked, and not eaten? ●The zero egg "0" obtained in the exam

49 Use coconut Which one is more painful? Watermelon or watermelon? ●My head hurts

50 What is the difference between Confucius and Mencius? ●Confucius’ son is on the left. Mencius’ disciples are above

51 What can I borrow without paying it back? ●Borrowing light

52 What is the first animal you see when you enter the zoo? ●Conductor

53 What is something that a magnifying glass cannot magnify? ●Angle

54 What will increase by half when it is turned upside down? ●6

55 You will destroy it just by calling its name. What is it? ●Silence

56 What often comes but never really comes? ●Tomorrow

57 Xiao Wang and his parents traveled abroad for the first time. Due to the language barrier, his parents seemed at a loss. Xiao Wang did not understand any foreign language. He was not deaf-mute, but he seemed to be in his own way. The country has never felt any inconvenience. Why? ●Xiao Wang is a baby

58 How can I write red letters with a blue pen? ●Write the word "red"

59 When a car turns right, which tire does not rotate? ●Spare tire

60 There is a piece of natural black marble. On September 7th, what will happen if you throw it into the Qiantang River? ●Sink to the bottom of the river

61 Under what circumstances will a person smoke from his orifices? ●Cremation

62 The vixen is best at bewitching men, so what kind of "spirit" can confuse men and women together?● Alcohol

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63 Why would a healthy couple give birth to a baby without eyes?● Chickens lay eggs

64 Why do two tigers fight to the death and have to fight to the death? ●No one dares Dissuade the fight

65 Mr. Lin received an artificial heart after major surgery. After she recovered from the illness, her girlfriend immediately broke up with her. Why did this happen? ●I didn’t really love her

66 You can do it, I can do it, everyone can do it; one person can do it, two people can do it Can't do it together.

What is this doing? ●Dreaming

67 Are black chickens or white chickens more powerful? Why? ●Black chickens, black chickens will lay white eggs, white chickens will not lay black eggs

68 Return at midnight You realize you forgot to bring your key and no one else is at home. What is your biggest wish? ● The door is forgotten

69 What are the benefits of black hair? ●Not afraid of tanning

70 If tomorrow is the end of the world, why do some people want to commit suicide today? ●Go to heaven and get a seat

71 The manager can’t cook, but there is one dish that he is particularly good at. What is it? ●Fired

72 What kind of wine should not be drunk? ●Iodine

73 Why is a bottle of medicine labeled highly toxic but harmless to people? ●As long as you don’t drink it

74 What can you hit without any effort? ●Doze off

75 There is something that people who buy it know, people who sell it also know it, but only people who use it don’t know, what is it? ●Coffin

76 Some people say that a woman is like a book, so what kind of book does a fat woman look like? ●Bound volume

77 What is the difference between being bitten by a crocodile and being bitten by a shark? ●No one knows

78 A cow walks 10 meters north, then 10 meters west, then 10 meters south, then backs up and turns right. Where is the cow's tail facing? ●Chao Di

79 "Innate" refers to the inheritance of parents, so what is "nurture"? ●The day after tomorrow

80 What are the main causes of divorce? ●Marriage

81 How to divide 9 oranges fairly among 13 children? ●Squeeze them into juice

82 Place a pencil on the ground so that no one can cross it How to do it? ●Put it against the wall

83 Why does the Statue of Liberty always stand in New York Harbor? ●She can’t sit

84 Why can frogs jump higher than trees? ●Trees don’t jump

85 Is there anything in the world that can carry people at a speed of nearly 2,000 kilometers per hour without refueling or other fuel? ●Earth

86 For fear of losing shape, what do you call a beautiful woman who doesn’t have children after getting married? ●Peerless beauty

87 Why do black people like to eat white chocolate? ●Afraid of eating one's own fingers

88 Who never dares to take a bath● Clay figurine

89 Why are most Buddhists in the Northern Hemisphere? ●Nan "Wu" Amitabha

90 What is not illegal to steal?●Smirk

91 Do you know where modern scientists are generally born? ●In the hospital

92 Why do the wild geese fly south? ●Because walking is too slow with feet

93 You can eat winter melon, cucumber, watermelon, and pumpkin, but what kind of melon can’t be eaten? ●Fool

94 There are 6 steamed buns in the basin. Each of the 6 children is assigned 1 steamed bun, but there is still 1 steamed bun left in the basin. Why? ●The last child took the basin away with him

95 Lao Wang shaved forty or fifty times a day, but he still had a beard on his face. What is the reason? ●Lao Wang is a barber

96 There is a word that everyone will mispronounce when they see it. What is this word? ●This is the word "wrong"

97 What kind of car is difficult to move? ●Windmill

98 Xiao Ming never studied but got a model student, why●Xiao Ming is a deaf-mute student

< p>99 How many sides does a box have? ●Two sides. Inside and outside

100 Which month has 28 days? ●Every month has 28 days