King of funny jokes

1. Beautiful and stupid

The husband said to his wife:? Why did God make women so beautiful but so stupid?

The wife replied:? God makes us beautiful, and you will love us; Make us stupid, and we will love you. ?

Waiting for autumn

The couple went to visit the oil painting exhibition together. When they were faced with a portrait of a naked woman covered by only a few leaves, her husband immediately stared at the painting in surprise. After a long time, he still didn't want to go away. The wife called a few times, but when she saw that he didn't respond, she grabbed his ear and shouted, Hello! Do you want to stand until autumn, waiting for the leaves to fall?

3. Confused husband

A woman was having an affair with her neighbor at night, just as her husband was going home, and the leader jumped out of the window and ran away. The husband picked up a shoe, cursed his wife for being unfaithful, and said to her, Wait until tomorrow, find out whose shoe this is, and then get even with you. ? Then fall asleep. The wife stole her husband's shoes while he was sleeping. The husband got up early, looked at his shoes and recognized them as his own. So I said regretfully:? I was wrong about you. So I jumped out of the window last night. ?

4. The goal has changed

When the husband and wife were having dinner, the wife said, Why do you eat all the meat on the fish back now? I remember when we were in love, you liked eating fish heads and fish tails best.

? Things are different! ? The husband said: Now my goal is to eat fish. My goal at that time was fishing. ?

5. Give you a rest

A man is afraid of his wife. One day, his wife quarreled with him in front of the guests and slapped him in the face. To save face, the man boldly shouted:? Do you dare to hit me again? Without hesitation, his wife punched again. The man can't scare his wife, so he has to say, since you are so obedient, I will spare you once. ?

6. I majored in PS

A buddy sent a close photo of him and the goddess sister in space, and said: It is not a dream that the goddess sister can hold hands when she enters our major! We all envy, all envy! We'll talk about it later. . . We found out on the Internet that this girl is actually a plane model! We'll talk about it later. . . We found that this diaosi studied PS. . . . .

There was a county magistrate who was afraid of his wife and was chased by her. He hid under the bed in panic. His wife knocked on the edge of the bed and said loudly, come out, come out! ? The county magistrate shrank inside and said, man, man, stop it and don't come out! ?

7. Just feel at home

When the wife went to visit her husband in prison, she asked, Dear, how are you getting along here?

? Just like at home, I don't go anywhere and the food is terrible.

8. Not worth the loss

When the husband came home, he was very unhappy. The wife asked with concern, "Did you encounter anything that went wrong?"?

Husband:? Today, I found 200 yuan's money on the bus. ?

Wife:? That should be happy! ?

Husband:? Another passenger saw it, and I shared it with him.

Wife:? Then don't you still have 100 yuan?

Husband:? Before I went home, I found that 200 yuan was actually lost by myself. ?

9. talk in your sleep

The wife said to her husband with concern, honey, you have been talking in your sleep recently. Why don't I accompany you to the hospital for a physical examination?

The husband replied in panic:? No, if the doctor cures this disease for me, then I have no right to speak at home! ?

10. Blink my dog's eyes

I play basketball in high school. After getting the ball, A selflessly passed it to B, and B scored easily. After a while, B got the ball and A shouted to pass it to him. B throw the ball yourself. As a result, A shouted angrily: Did you really blind my dog just now? Full laughter

1 1. Primary school monitor

In my impression, the monitor of the primary school is extremely serious. A self-study class, the classroom was crowded with people. After several times of maintaining order, the monitor was finally fed up. He stood up, patted the table and shouted, whoever makes any more noise will break his mouth! ! ! ? The classroom was silent.

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