```````````The labor and management are in a bad mood, who has the ability to make me laugh````````````

10. Women’s Progress Award

Today, when my wife came back from shopping, she yelled when she entered the house: "We can’t survive this day. We must die. These two must die." How can you survive until the end of the month without food or drink? Apart from your salary, there is nothing that will not increase. Five yuan of pork and some sauerkraut are not enough for you. Go home as soon as possible tomorrow and get some more cabbage and potatoes. Come back, so I can hold on." He took out a pack of sanitary napkins and threw it on the table, and said something that shocked me: "No matter how bad my bleeding gets, I won't be able to get my period anymore."

9 , Best Audio Award

I passed by an intersection that day and had the desire to fart. There happened to be a person riding a motorcycle, so I wanted to take this opportunity to cover up the sound of my fart, but I didn’t know that the sound was too loud. People thought that the engine was turned on and the gear was put into gear before leaving. I was so embarrassed that time...

8. Mobile Phone Dealer Special Award

A friend of mine , bought a new mobile phone. As a result, I accidentally dropped my phone into the toilet pit when I went to the public toilet. Fortunately among the misfortunes, the stuff inside the toilet pit was very sticky and my phone didn't get into it. Just when he was about to find something to grab his cell phone, someone called him! It happened that his cell phone was set to vibrate again, and he watched it vibrate and slowly disappear into the thick, deep poop...

7. IT Annual Award

While repairing the computer, I spat into the computer case, and the computer popped up and found new hardware~

6. Chinese Literature Award

Three people in the office , two boys and one girl, the eldest boy is 45 years old, the younger boy is 21 years old, and the girl is 30 years old.

There is no competition between the three of them, so they have a harmonious relationship and get along well.

One day, the woman was promoted and moved out of this office. At the celebration banquet, after toasting, the man asked the woman: "Why did you abandon your husband and son?", "Abandon your husband and son?" The whole table burst into laughter.

Another day, the young man was also raised. At the celebration banquet, the husband of the woman who left first asked the older man sourly: "I heard that at the last banquet, Mr. made a shocking statement. This time... What is there to say? "

The big man was stunned and said: "What is there to say? I have struggled for half my life, but now my wife and children are separated!"

5. Biology Harmony Award

There used to be a classic place name in Chongqing called Hehe, which means "time, location, harmony"

There is a unit over there with an invincible signboard

"Human and Lean Pig Breeding Farm"

4. Best Reading Award

Go to eat barbecue at the back door of East China Normal University

There is an advertisement in front of the barbecue stall with three lines of large characters:

BBQ

Beef Skewers

Chicken Legs

Chicken Hearts

The NB girl next to me read loudly: Roast Beef**

3. Best Service Award

One day, my cousin and I went to catch the bus with great difficulty. I was waiting for a car to come, but there were so many people on it that I couldn't even squeeze through the front door. We had to swipe the card at the front door and get on the bus through the back door, but there were too many people on the bus and we couldn't squeeze in through the back door.

So, the driver brother discussed with us: "I will start the car first and drive slowly, and you guys will run behind the car."

My cousin and I were wondering: this What's the solution? But there was no choice but to run behind the car. The car was about ten meters away when it suddenly braked suddenly. The passengers in the car couldn't control their bodies and all backed to the front of the car. A large space was suddenly freed up by the back door.

At this time, the driver greeted us proudly: "Get on, get on..."

2. The Strongest Love Award

I was on the bus I heard people calling the radio station to request songs. A man called in and said, "I am a foreigner. Now I can't buy a ticket to go home, so I have to spend the New Year in Beijing. I want to request a song."

"

The host asked him: "Who do you want to send a song to? "

I thought at the time that there was no need to ask, they must be my parents and relatives far away, but who knew that he replied: "I want to order a song by Chen Xiaochun's "You Will Be Cruel" and give it to Beijing Railway Station All the staff and all the ticket sellers! "

1. Annual Award

When I was at Sichuan University, I was wandering around the campus with my old friend from the dormitory, drinking Pepsi cans while walking, when I saw a fruit suitcase and I The two of them made a bet to see who could stand the farthest and still make the shot. The loser got a treat in the evening. When Lao Liu stood further, he threw it as hard as he could and hit the top of the fruit bin. Bang! There was a loud noise and Lao Gao dipped his can into it. A girl happened to be passing by. Lao Liu didn't drink the can completely, and the coke splashed on the girl's face.

First, Lao Gao and I. Liu hurriedly apologized to her, but the girl refused to listen and kept scolding her. Lao Liu got angry and started scolding her. This is the first time I have seen her in such a long life. The two of them kept scolding and wouldn't stop. After scolding each other for more than an hour, the girl suddenly pointed at her face and said, "You can do that?" You have the ability to lick it clean for me! "

Both Lao Liu and I haven't reacted yet. Lao Liu was still quite reluctant. The girl then said: "You are still a man in vain!" "Lao Liu got angry, hugged her, moved her head, put his head close to her, stuck out his tongue twice and licked it all! Lao Liu also said to the girl: "Okay! It’s over! snort! "

Lao Liu turned around and saw my dumbfounded look. We both burst into laughter. The girl also came to her senses and squatted on the ground crying. Seeing that the situation was not good, we both I quickly said something nice and apologized to her. I can’t remember why she didn’t cry afterwards. That night, the sixth child also invited the girl and me as guests. In the evening, the sixth child also sent the girl back to the dormitory. A few days later, the girl became the elder Liu’s girlfriend, the first one to fall in love in our dormitory!

Later I asked the girl about the situation, and she said that she fainted from the scolding, and that’s why she made a big joke. However, she thought Liu was pretty good, too. It's just a mistake. Ever since Lao Liu's incident, whenever someone in our dormitory asks if there is any intimacy during a relationship, the question is "Have you licked it?"

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