Children pull their pants easily. How should parents guide their children correctly?

For mothers, the sense of accomplishment and joy of seeing their babies make progress and become independent day by day can't be expressed in words, but often before they are proud, their babies will do things that you can't understand or even accept, such as pulling your pants.

0 1 After toilet training, why do 3-year-old babies often pull their pants?

In the eyes of many mothers, as long as the baby has mastered a skill, it will become more and more skilled in using it. After all, people have been making progress and growing, but some mothers find themselves exhausted. After countless times of patience and hard work, the baby finally learned to go to the toilet by himself, but as he grows older, he will go backwards, which makes them very puzzled.

▼3-year-old baby pulls pants and is laughed at by children.

My best friend works in a kindergarten. She told me that there is a little boy in her class. He is smart and cute, and he is very popular with teachers and children. But for a while, he didn't like playing with children and even began to be shy.

Once, a girl in the class suddenly covered her nose and said loudly, it stinks. ? Then all the other children began to hiss, except the little boy, whose head was down, his face was red and he was at a loss. It's obvious? Smell? He said it.

Some children complained to the teacher, while others looked at him and smiled. My best friend quickly took the child to change clothes and informed the child's mother. When the mother arrived, she dragged the child away and scolded him. Don't you have long legs or a long mouth and don't know how to go to the toilet? Are you ashamed that Bai has grown so big?

From then on, the little boy became very timid and never dared to play with children.

Some people may ask, isn't it just pulling a pants, as for it? It's not true, it may be the mother of the child, because they still don't understand why the baby is like this. Backward behavior? .

02 baby's? Backward behavior? There is a scientific explanation, isn't there? An ignorant mother? !

Psychoanalyst Freud's theory of personality development puts forward that a person's personality development develops in turn with the change of sexual pleasure center, and there are five stages:

0- 1 year: oral desire period

1-3 years old: anorexia

3-6 years old: sexual bud stage

6- 12 years old: incubation period

/kloc-after 0/2 years old: growth period

No matter at which stage of development, there will be desires and value orientations for different things. If there is too little satisfaction, children will have psychological problems, thus staying at this stage and constantly looking for ways to satisfy this stage.

Children aged 65,438+0-3 are in the period of anal desire, and they will get pleasure by inhibiting or eliminating feces. At this time, if parents treat their children rudely, they will not let go? Learn a lesson? On the contrary, it may prolong such behavior and may lead to the formation of children? Anal desire type? Personality.

Parents understand the psychological and physiological development law of children's anorectal period, and also understand that this is a stage of children's development, so they can truly accept and respect their children's development from the heart.

03 to enter? Anal period? What signals will our children release?

Jiang Mumu is two and a half years old. She used to tell adults whenever she wanted to go to the bathroom, but now she doesn't. She often secretly craps in her pants, sometimes changing several pairs of pants a day.

Jiang Mumu's mother often reminds Jiang Mumu to go to the toilet, or takes him to the toilet, but when he goes to the toilet, he doesn't pull. When he put on his trousers, he would pull them, and sometimes he even saw Jiang Mumu's face flushed with restraint. After several times of patient education, Jiang Mumu would call his mother when he wanted to pull, but when his mother arrived, he was already pulling in his pants. This gives Jiang Mumu's mother a headache.

What are these behaviors of Jiang Mumu? Anal period? Performance, specifically summarized as follows:

1. After the baby learns to urinate, he repeatedly has the behavior of holding urine and urinating in his pants;

2. The baby will hide when urinating, such as behind the curtain and behind the door;

3. When the baby urinates, he will be red-faced, sweaty, tight, clenched with his hands, and his limbs will be stiff and straight;

4, the baby will occasionally sprinkle urine on the ground, and then study it carefully, even by hand;

5, the law of baby defecation is different from before, sometimes once every 2-3 days, or even longer.

In fact, the formation of our defecation system goes through four stages, namely:

Infantile stage (the defecation system is not well developed and it is impossible to control one's own urine and urine)

The micturition reflex stage (around 1 year-old, micturition signals will be obtained through urethral stimulation to form micturition reflex).

Anal desire stage (the baby has defecation and defecation retrogression, which is an important stage to build the child's physiology and psychology)

Maturity of urination (3-6 years old to complete the development of defecation control system)

Among these four stages, the anal desire stage is the most prone to problems. If parents don't handle it well, it will do great harm to children.

04 sabotage the baby? Anal period? The harm is uncontrollable, so parents should be cautious.

Many parents are perfectionists when facing their children, and they don't allow their babies to have some bad behaviors. What about their children? Anal period? It is often destroyed for the following three reasons:

1. Often reprimand, abuse or neglect children.

In life, parents are too strict with their children, or turn a blind eye to their children for various reasons, which will cause great mental stress to their children for a long time, or think that they are not valued and cared for, so when their psychological endurance reaches the limit, their behavior will regress and thus appear? Anal period? .

In fact, this is entirely a child's behavior to protect himself, because in infancy, he peed in his pants and would not be scolded and reprimanded by his parents.

2. Forcibly feed the child urine.

The older generation almost always brought up their children by beating shit and urine, because there was no diaper at that time and the diaper was limited, so they would use this method to prevent their children from wetting their pants.

Nowadays, because of the great economic pressure, young parents usually give their children to the elderly to take care of them, and naturally they will pee. Old people think that urinating regularly can not only save a lot of money, but also train children to urinate on time. They even show off their rich parenting experience.

In fact, this behavior of forcing the baby to urinate will affect the development of the child's control system, which is harmful and not beneficial to the baby.

3. Interrupt the child's anorexia.

Most parents will yell at their children when they see their anorexia, let them go to the toilet to urinate, or deliberately say something ugly to stimulate them after seeing their children pull their pants.

Parents should understand that even if it is just an expression of disgust, the baby can also perceive and understand your anger, which will lead to fear and gradually form inferiority complex, which will lead to more serious behavior and a vicious circle when anal sex is desired.

Follow these principles to help children get through the anorectal period smoothly.

Children enter the anorectal period, which is beyond their control, so they need the help of their parents if they want to get through this period smoothly. If their parents do not do well, it is likely to prolong the anorectal period, and some children have even fallen into the embarrassment and pain of defecating in their pants for several years.

The principles for parents to handle their children's anorectal period are as follows:

1, accept and respect the anorectal behavior of children.

Parents should never interrupt a child when he has urinated or even urinated anywhere. Even if they are about to face a lot of housework, they should calmly pretend that nothing happened, let alone discuss it in front of children as news, which will bring anxiety to children.

In addition, parents had better not talk nonsense when their children have already pulled their pants, such as? Remember to pee in the toilet next time. ? In fact, children know very well that they should go to the toilet to defecate, but they can't control themselves to finish it. When they hear their parents say this, it will bring pressure to their children and prolong the period of anal desire.

2. Don't treat irregular defecation as constipation.

When a child changes the rule of going to the toilet, parents may judge that the child is troubled by constipation, so they force the child to use Caselo. This kind of behavior will make children feel fear, and the source of fear is defecation, which in turn leads to fear of defecation. Therefore, they will artificially control themselves not to defecate, and finally let the children really enter the constipation stage.

Besides, parents should never find ways to ease their thoughts? Constipation? Giving children traditional Chinese medicine, or excessive fruits and vegetables, will make them think that there is something wrong with their bodies, which will have a negative impact, and at the same time, it will make them have greater psychological pressure on defecation.

Don't humiliate your children with words.

For example, the little boy at the beginning of the article has been annoyed with his behavior, but when he saw his closest mother, he was not comforted and understood. On the contrary, adding fuel to the fire will make children fall into deeper remorse and inferiority, which will not only hinder the smooth passage of anal desire, but also affect their character, become timid, introverted, self-doubt and negative, thus affecting their lives.

4. Help children adapt to the new environment and reduce psychological stress.

Children seek security, so they will rely on their parents. Once they enter a new environment, they will feel afraid and uneasy. For example, when they just go to kindergarten and are unfamiliar with the new environment and new friends, they will have anxiety. Parents must actively communicate with teachers to help children integrate into the group as soon as possible and eliminate psychological problems, which is of great significance to children in anorectal period.

Infants in anorectal period are fragile and need parents' care and encouragement. So parents should have enough patience and perseverance to help their children get through this embarrassing stage step by step.