Han Han's classic insulting quotations!

Truth is often in the hands of a few people, and a few people must obey the majority. In the end, the truth is still in the hands of most people, and people follow suit. What the first man said, the second man heard it and followed suit. At this time, the third person objected, and the fourth person saw that there were two people on one side and only one person on the other side, so he followed the two people. It can be seen that the crowded party does not necessarily have its own ideas, and many of them are aimed at crowded places.

The most irrefutable sentence I have said in my life is that the quilt need not be folded-it was meant to be spread out to sleep-but this is also the first time to be refuted. See, this is the rule. We are sad because we have too many rules.

I think I am the smartest person in the world. Because some doctors actually haven't made much progress in knowledge, they just learned how to write a sentence that everyone can understand, so that no one can understand it.

If this era can produce all talents, it is the luck of exam-oriented education and the misfortune of this era. If there is, he is the king of people, but unfortunately there is no, so we have to take off the "king" under the word "all". What the times need is only talents.

The problem with education now is that no one can bathe naked, but too many people are bathing in cotton-padded jackets.

I think the current situation is that Carrefour is like an inflatable doll, which is to let a group of people hold it to vent. On the one hand, it may be too depressing at ordinary times, and it is necessary to find a cheap exit. On the one hand, while venting, I also asked the manufacturer of this inflatable doll and inflatable doll, am I strong? Am I strong? Seeing those people who are not interested in inflatable dolls next to me, I accuse them of impotence.

7. China looks down on people who talk big. In my opinion, boasting is nothing, just like ancient women used to bind their feet, and they were called "big feet" when they met normal feet; People in China are used to "small talk", and when it is normal, it is naturally called "big talk". Those who dare to talk big will come to no good end, scaring future generations from talking big to not talking.

8. I have become a phenomenon, and it is better to fail in ideological and moral education than to have no thoughts.

9. I said before that literature is often a political prostitute. So, as mentioned above, are the critics I serve comfortable? Do you want me to call Chen Danqing and say no to everyone? Flying together is more comfortable ... if you think my service is very good, please call me at any time. My job number is 180000 453 1, which is a bit difficult to remember. Alas, there are too many writers in this line. ...

10. I don't like being trapped by nature and often violate class rules. The head teacher often punishes me for copying the class rules 20 times and asks me to take three pens together. I often tell people that this is how I practice my good handwriting.

1 1. There are very few beautiful women on the street, because these days, there are more beautiful women who go to bed once a day than those who go to the streets once a day. All the girls, with a little beauty, are standing in the hotel; Beautiful, everyone fell asleep in the hotel; Beautiful, lying in the arms of the hotel manager.

12. There are all kinds of buses parked at the gate of Zhouzhuang, which shows that our government attaches great importance to improving the artistic quality of officials.

13. It's hateful to occupy the toilet and not defecate. In fact, the most hateful thing is to occupy the pit after defecation.

14. After a man is lovelorn, he either commits suicide or falls in love again. The requirements for finding a partner for the second time are often similar to those for the first time. This kind of psychology is very subtle. For example, if something is just delicious and suddenly robbed, it is natural to do everything possible to find a similar taste-this logic only applies to the woman's betrayal or unsuccessful pursuit. If two people have no feelings for each other, there will be no such "shadow love", and the more you eat, the more smelly you don't have to eat.

15. Fame is like the hair on the back of the head. I can't see it, others can see it at a glance.

16. I am good at math, physics, Chinese and English. My music and sports computer is zero, and I can't even turn it on. I am still an excellent student. However, if my music, physical education and computer are terrible, and I speak Portuguese like my mother tongue, but I fail in math, English and chemistry, then I am also a poor student.

17. An adult over eighteen still doesn't know what his future ideal is and what he likes. That's really a failure of education.

18. Math is being done, and I have been doing it until I find that all the questions on the test paper have been done.

19. When I was at school, I liked playing football. Someone sarcastically said, I can't play for the national team anymore. I can't play better than Cristiano Ronaldo. What's the point of playing? Stop kicking.

Then, if you like to drive by yourself, I tell you, you can't drive to McLaren, and you can't drive faster than Schumacher. What's the point of driving? Your driver's license has been confiscated.

20. If you are in love, it is largely for your own face. For example, in school, you feel that you are good-looking and have face, and in the office, you feel that finding a rich man has face. In fact, all you love is your face.

2 1. In the process of fighting SARS, some airlines have introduced 60% discount measures for teachers and medical staff, which is very puzzling. It feels like there are not enough nurses, and young female teachers are on the front line. However, I really don't see what the teacher has to do with SARS except teaching everyone to wash their hands frequently. Then I'm a cleaner. Can I get a 60% discount by plane?

22. There is no standard to judge whether an article is good or not when the sentences are fluent and few typos affect reading. I casually handed in an article by Zhu Ziqing, and no teacher would think that his students' writing was good enough to become famous writers, or would make many revisions.

23. One year, when the school paid tuition fees, it forcibly overcharged 100 yuan on the grounds that the parents' loans were used for education construction. As for repayment, it is not only indefinite, but also interest-free. Finally, no one knows what the money has built.

24. Chinese has two "secrets": one is not to read Chinese books; Second, don't treat it as a document.

25. I have my own principles in reading. I don't like Chinese books and composition classes because I hate them to make money and stifle people's personality and creativity. I like Wang Shuo better. He is very clever and sincere. My writing features are more like Qian Zhongshu's Fortress Besieged, because I appreciate his swearing.

26. The student sent me a test paper, and there was a question in it that was analyzed by my article. They asked me if my article was selected from the following competitions: a: the first national new concept composition competition; B, the first national new concept composition contest; C: The First National New Concept Composition Competition. What the hell do you think this is! What is the purpose of the exam? Our education in China is really great!

The hero of my novel basically has nothing to do, so he lives in chaos. This is life. Why must it be higher than life?

28, math, I think I only need to go to Grade Two. It is certainly good for a person to develop in an all-round way, but the more comprehensive he is, the more mediocre he may be. It is said that learning advanced mathematics is to cultivate logical ability. I think logical ability is innate, not acquired. Didn't the ancients learn advanced mathematics and have no logical ability?

29. Seven red lights illuminate my future.

I think it's time for more and more celebrities to perform here and express their condolences. I should go, too.

3 1, I am a big piece of Shanghai gold, and I will make many people reflect on themselves.

32. It is difficult for me to summarize my personality. I especially dislike those rigid personalities. I just do what I like. I don't want to follow the crowd. I can't write such a thing as "Ah, our splendid bridge".

33. After dropping out of school, I have a well-thought-out plan. In May, I promoted the release of "Triple Gate" in Shanghai, signed books among my peers, and went to Tibet with several companions in the summer vacation ... I locked myself at home in the last few months of the year and wrote the experience of the year.

34. When nervous people speak, what they forget is not the content, but the transition. They don't know what they are talking about. Two sentences that have no causal relationship can actually be strung together with "so".

35. A family is like a mountain. Both sides should climb desperately, and only one person can stand on it. More importantly, home is like a mountain, and it is difficult to accommodate two tigers in one mountain. Once two tigers face each other, they must fight hard to separate. Usually, men will use non-academic things such as fists to solve disputes. Therefore, behind a failed woman, there will always be a successful man.

When it comes to money, the life span of love is different. You can often see ugly men holding beautiful women.

We have reason to believe that love based on love is short-lived because love itself is short-lived; And love based on money is eternal, because money is eternal.

38. Shanghai beauties always look straight ahead when walking in the street, and crossing the street is no exception. Most men in Shanghai ignore this beauty and try their best to find it. The muscles on their faces have been trained to act independently without brain control. When they see beautiful women, they will smile. Because of this concern, they only heard cars hitting old ladies in Shanghai, and rarely heard cars hitting beautiful women.

39. A city is like a woman. What I see during the day is just a face full of makeup, and I can see her face after makeup removal at night. That's true.

40. The trend can only wait but not catch up, which is the same as waiting for the train at the railway station. Stay at the station, there will always be a car. As for the car that just left, we ordinary people can't catch up.

-"hair" at MINUS one degree

4 1. It is better to hate someone for four years than to like someone for four years. Like is just an inertia, but hate needs to constantly spur yourself.

42. Han Han: "A group of people who have no achievements actually accuse a world champion of having a problem with his education model. This is China's logic."

-Han Han commented that some people in China accused Ding Junhui, the champion of billiards, of having problems with his education.

43. Any altar is an altar at the end, and any circle is a wreath at the end.

44. The teacher is not popular, but the tutor is very enthusiastic. It can be seen that seeking knowledge is like falling in love. Dragging dozens is low, and one-on-one is precious. Expensive things are really expensive, of course, tens of dollars an hour, basically the same price as prostitutes. With money, teachers are much better than prostitutes. Prostitutes make money because prostitutes give each other happiness; And the teacher gave each other pain, but still received money, which is the greatness of family education.

-Han Han, Triple Gate

45. It is unwise to argue with women. Whether this woman is wise.

46. Power is higher than the right you try your best to defend.

-Han Han's "Teenagers Fly"

47. The country's famous source of persecution of students.

-Han Han talks about Haidian District, Beijing.

48. Most modern poems actually split a third-rate prose into lines, and the so-called master or pioneer is to confuse the order of each sentence of a third-rate prose and then split it into lines.

-Han Han, manuscript 2003, the problem of poetry.

49. Anyone who is shameless can write dozens of modern poems a day.

-Han Han, manuscript 2003, the problem of poetry.

50. The so-called great pressure, hard study and few places are all things for ordinary people. Rich and powerful people have never said anything about poor education, because it is completely beyond their understanding.

-Han Han, manuscript 2003, the problem of enrollment.

5 1. We mainly come here to study, which is good, but what did you do at school?

-Han Han, 2003 manuscript, the problem of college students.

52. The ancestors were also very poor. Many times, they quote many of their words, not because they respect them, but because they happen to think of what they think, and use these words to refute or criticize a person who is different from what they think.

-Han Han, Manuscript 2003, Language Issues.

53. There is a big difference between owing money to others and owing human feelings. For example, someone owes you a sum of money, and you have been procrastinating for a long time, and you have been flatly disappointed. At this time, that person suddenly pays back the money, and you will feel that it is like money outside your body, not your money, and then squander it; But if someone owes you a favor and doesn't pay it back for a long time, you will cherish it when that person pays it back.

54. For men, the saddest thing is that two men and one woman will never be together on the trip.

55. The success rate of ugly girls is actually higher than that of good-looking girls, because when good-looking girls are spoiled, men can't help but watch for a while and then vote in their hearts. Is it worth it? If an unattractive girl scatters her charm, she will always feel out of shape, just like the writing techniques of western writers learned by China literati. Seeing them coquetry will make them feel guilty, so men will rush to agree to stop them from coquetry.

56. The most painful thing when swearing is that others scold you back and forth with your words, and the weight will soar a lot.

57. It seems that the safest thing is to keep a homing pigeon.

-Han Han comments on the mobile phone networks of China Mobile and China Unicom.

58. Killing or being killed by dad is not news these days.

Male students are mainly naive and arrogant, while female students are not so naive, and some of them are relatively mature.

-Han Han's college students.

59. Answer irrelevant questions; Twenty sentences can't solve any problems; No matter what things will eventually be led to their own research fields, even prostitutes and the like; I like to interrupt others, but I don't like others to interrupt him; Everything should be divided into several aspects, even if it is a truth; You must affirm something first, and then deny it; When they are halfway through answering the question, ask them if they remember what the question was just now. They may not remember. Fat; When you speak, you must wave your hand; When cornered, he always regards his cultural revolution experience as a stronger capital than others, but this does not explain why academic authority like him has not been overthrown. Those who are defeated must let people know that they are defeated; Summative words can be found in books written by dead people.

-Han Han on the characteristics of "experts"

60. Their best estimate is that the literary world can become a sanatorium.

-Han Han: "A big reason why China literature has not improved is that these people who are extremely irresponsible in doing things and talking, but pretend to be tireless in teaching people, have long occupied the authoritative position of literary criticism."

6 1. The younger the official, the more likely he is to abuse his power.

-China people's problems.

We China people can't ask each other the way to the Great Wall in English.

-Han Han thinks that promoting Putonghua is more important than promoting English.

63. I closed my eyes and thought it was in Oxford. When I opened my eyes, I saw it was in Tianjin.

-Early self-study in China schools.

64. After a thing is deified, it must be followed by a lot of nonsense.

65. I can't wait to open a canteen to go public.

-Han Han talks about college students' arrogance.

66. It's incredible that people in their twenties are still spending their parents' money to go to school and eat, and they are still complacent about their comprehensive ability.

When doing a talk show, a college student stood up and said to Han Han, maybe your writing ability is better than ours, but your comprehensive ability is far less than ours.

67. It is suggested that the composition grade should be changed to "exactly what I want", "not far from it", "refer to the outline" and "those who oppose me will die".

-Han Han: "A person is not qualified to judge that A's article is excellent and B's article fails. I can only say that I like A's article but I don't like B's article, or that A's article is similar to the outline requirements, and B's is a bit poor. "

68. Patriotism is manifested and cultivated when watching China play in the World Cup or when the embassy of China is bombed. It will not increase because a class is exposed to the hot sun for dozens of hours.

-Han Han talks about military training in middle schools.

69- Han Han: "No matter what intentions the teacher has, I think it is ridiculous and violates human rights. At the very least, you can not advocate it, but you can't object. "

You can't even educate a minor, but you have to educate an adult.

-Han Han commented on "Call your parents".

70. Teachers are originally trained by low-ability schools. For example, when I was in school, those who only had grades and didn't have any special skills and didn't want to be a soldier, but the college entrance examination was too ugly, all chose normal schools, while those who cultivated some real skills in normal schools, or were beautiful or studied well would not choose to be teachers, so those who only had grades in normal schools were really bad, didn't have any special skills and didn't want to be a soldier. So you can imagine how good a teacher can be.

7 1. China has been deliberately improving the status of teachers for thousands of years, and today it has finally reached this completely incorrect position.

-Han Han: "In fact, to put it bluntly, teachers are just a profession and a way to support their families. They are not essentially different from taxi drivers and cleaners. "

72. False stories spread thousands of miles, but no one really cares.

73. You can't bully and squeeze some poor people in the name of management, and you can't condone some corrupt officials in the name of out of control. If we catch the corruption in China, the society will be more harmonious. The country must be stronger.

74. Are obviously dirty people called upper class together?

75. Life is really the purest thing. Obviously it is the fairest, but it is used by countless people as an excuse to do bad things. Everything is forced by life, but life never catches it.

76. I really can't imagine that when two people love each other very much, suddenly someone who is neither my parents nor the other's parents will say: No, you can't be together.

77. Never give up, I admit that I lost to you. -Han Han was harassed by a female teacher for many years (65438+February 65438+May 2007).

78. In fact, the pressure of college entrance examination is totally economic pressure. If the day before the college entrance examination, I suddenly tell you that your parents are all dead, but the parents who actually sell baked wheat cakes have hundreds of millions of inheritance, I think most people will take the exam with a condescending attitude, and when they encounter a topic, for example, let you analyze the difference between the words "I didn't expect" and "I didn't expect" except for the different strokes, and shout: I won't take the exam!

There is a saying that "love is a woman's best cosmetic", which is actually wrong. Love has no such power. Love only urges women to buy the best cosmetics, that's all.

The articles of female middle school students in the 1980s and 1990s are like a stable, full of dark horse princes and endless childhood friends.

8 1. A few years ago, it was commonplace to enter a key high school, but now it is crazy.

82. Rules are actually a pastime after eating and wearing warm clothes. If you can't have enough food and clothing, do you still need rules?

If you give someone a rose, your hands are fragrant. If you blame someone, your hands are still black.

-Excerpted from Han Han's "New Year Events"

84. As the saying goes, the foot hurts and kicks the head, and another foreign aid is kicked in the eye in the domestic league. It's really uncivilized Perhaps the international community's impression of the China team is that a group of baboons are kicking coconuts on the seashore of the virgin forest.

85. I saw an advertisement on TV a few years ago to the effect that on the bus, an old man was dejected and despondent. People asked, What's wrong with you? The old man said, I have cancer. The conductor on the bus said, nothing. I got cancer a few years ago and was treated in a hospital in front of a station. I'm fine now. The driver then said, yes, my cancer was cured there, too. Then a bus full of passengers said that our cancer was cured there.

86. Some people think that Liu Xiang should be modest. He is already the world record holder. If you must say, no, no, I can't run Some people may be very comfortable, but such modesty is actually a greater insult to others. This is called no, then you are all disabled.

87. They all came from that era. Time wasted is always inseparable from the word "wasted". During the "Cultural Revolution", I went to the countryside and rubbed hemp ropes. Later, I played mahjong with the mayor, and my back was hunched. This is the true meaning of wasting time.

88. Will I join the Writers Association? If I can be the chairman, I will go, and the writers association will be dissolved the next second.

89. Even if I am a celebrity, I am lofty, lofty, lofty, lofty, lofty, and I can't stand being a judge.

-"The heights are too cold", Han Han overwhelmed Gao Songxiao in one sentence.

90. Are you lit like a firecracker? The result of a little fire is cannon fodder.

9 1. Most lovelorn people are not sad because of their lovers' departure, but because of their sympathy and pity for their own situation.

92. There are two kinds of logic in the world, one is logic and the other is China's logic.

93. Low taste is also fun, and it is always difficult to entertain yourself.

94. I think I am very smart, and I think others have special ulterior motives, such as being clumsy and out of date. If a thing, with their minds, knows that it is clumsy, can I not know it?

95. Although I won't take part in any film and television performances, I am actually a good actor, but no one is qualified to direct me. Don't be like me. You asked me to start over. I didn't even learn it myself.

96. Some people are used to ulterior motives. It seems that people all over the world have ulterior motives.

In fact, whoever you want to take with you on a long trip is a good girl.

98. As for the mentality of drivers, I personally think that anyone who can survive in China has a very strong mentality, so there is no need to conduct mentality training alone.

99. Except criminals, no one in this world is doing what he likes. -"His Country"

100. This is a real laziness. Doing nothing for outsiders to see is like planning to do something big. -"His Country"

10 1. First of all, he feels that he is a person who does great things and should not covet these petty advantages. This is not his character, but the most depressing thing is that since he decided to be greedy without hesitation, he was greedy as always.

102. Don't think it's fashionable to be under the Eiffel Tower. -Han Han comments on BiBi Zhou's MV.

103. Do you think this milk tastes bad because the milk you milked tastes better? Do you think this egg is not delicious because your eggs are better? -Han Han said he didn't like famous artists such as Ba Jin. When he was accused, Han Han said this.

104. It's always wrong to step on people.

105. I miss one year most, when the air was free and fresh, the mountains were full of smoke, dogs and fields, and I slept for a summer.