Urgently looking for a funny short sketch script for 3-4 people

A: Dear classmates, I miss you so much.

B: Let me introduce it to you first.

A: My name is Guo Liangliang.

B: My name is Zhao Pangpang.

A: Pangpang, you are a freshman, right? If you need my help in the future, just ask, senior, I will do my best.

B: Oh, definitely. Boss, are your grades good?

A: Horse, horse, horse.

B: Then why are your grades so good?

A: Because I have learned from the painful experience of "fried shredded pork on bamboo boards", I have deeply realized that if you fall behind, you will be beaten.

B: Hey, the heroes have similar experiences.

A: Can you be more specific?

B: Women's singles with a score below 80, men's singles with a score below 70, and mixed doubles with a score below 60.

A: How do you say this?

B: If the score is below 80, my mother will beat me. If the score is below 70, my dad will beat me. If the score is below 60, both my parents will beat me.

A: Did you grow up in this kind of environment?

B: Who cares how miserable I feel, who cares where I will go tomorrow.

A: Oh, my poor junior, but it’s okay. Sooner or later, your body will be tempered into an indestructible body, and then you will be immortal.

B: Hey, senior, I’ve heard for a long time that you stand out from the rest in your studies. Please tell me about your study methods.

A: The cicadas couldn't stop chirping in the cold last night, and I was frightened back to seize the dream of being the king. It was already the third watch. I got up and rushed cold water to my face. Then I tried my best, holding the headlight from the window, focusing on fame. The white leaves fall in front of the window, hindering the journey. I want to tell Yao Qin my thoughts, but it is impossible and there is no time at all.

B: But I just can’t learn well, even if I stay up late.

A: You study during the day, study at night, study while eating, and study when using the toilet. Whatever you do, you have to think about studying, studying, and studying.

B: How can it be possible? If you study all night, you have to sleep during the day. While eating and reading, I put rice into my nostrils twice, into my ears three times, and into other people's mouths four times. I'm afraid of going to the toilet to read.

A: What are you afraid of?

B: I’m afraid of falling in. I can’t swim there.

A: So what do you do in school?

B: I was in school, jumping up and down, crying and laughing, playing around, hitting the wall and hanging myself, sleeping during the day and setting off cannons at night, and when I had nothing to do, I would get under the bed and bite the mice.

A: If you don’t study hard, you might as well go home and sell sweet potatoes. If you don’t study hard, you might as well go home and farm. Forget it, don't suffer and be tired here, go home. B: Hey... what are you talking about? What's so great about you? You just study better. I'm going to make your family restless.

A: What do you want?

B: I’ll call your house. Hello, is this Guo Liangliang's mother? I have some unfortunate news for you. The lovely classmate Guo Liangliang was hit by a car yesterday morning, hit by a stone, kicked by a donkey, and bitten by a dog. Now Being rescued in the hospital.

A: Where?

B: Urumqi, Heilongjiang.

A: Why are you talking so far away?

B: Let her go slowly in the car and pay all the fare.

A: Okay, if you are ruthless, everyone listens. If anyone has such a phone call, they will call him. He is the one who did it.

B: To be honest, I do have difficulty studying.

A: What are the difficulties?

B: As soon as I read, I feel sleepy, thirsty and hungry, and want to go to the toilet.

A: This is easy to handle.

B: What to do?

A: Drink Red Bull when you are thirsty and hungry; drink Red Bull when you are sleepy and tired; drink Red Bull when you have frequent and urgent urination. Red bull, red bull, even if it’s not red, it’s still bull.

B: But our family only has yellow cattle, not red cattle.

A: Forget it, let me tell you a few stories to stimulate your interest in learning.

B: I love to hear stories.

A: Have you ever heard of Che Yin Nang Ying, Sun Kang Ying Xue, or Kuang Heng cutting through walls to steal the light?

B: I haven’t heard of it. What’s going on?

A: Che Yin loved reading very much when he was a child, but his family was very poor and had no money to buy lights, so he caught many fireflies, put them in a bag, and read by them at night.

B: Then let’s catch fireflies too.

A: If you have electric lights and electric sticks, what do you want fireflies for?

B: This will show that I study hard.

A: Pull you down, fireflies will shine, will you shine? Fireflies can fly, can you fly?

B: What about Sun Kang Yingxue?

A: Sun Kang wanted to study at night, but his family was very poor and had no lights, so he read in the snow by the light of the snow.

B: I don’t think it’s snowing today, but it’s so cold outside. Studying outside is regarded not only as sleepwalking but also as a lunatic. Let's listen to that guy who cut through walls and stole things, I'll learn from him too.

A: That was Kuang Heng who cut a hole in the wall of his house to steal light. Kuang Heng’s family was also very poor and had no light to study at night, so he cut a hole in the wall of his house and used the neighbor’s light to study.

B: But there is a pigsty next door to my house, and there are holes in the wall. What should I do if the piglets next door peek at me taking a shower?

A: I introduce them to you because I want you to learn from their hard-working spirit. This is how geniuses are born.

B: Genius makes money every day.

A: Why are you only thinking about money? Well, since you can’t learn from China, just learn from foreign countries. Newton.

B: The elephant-headed cow reacts very slowly.

A: Ostrovsky.

B: Are you going home to marry the old hen?

A: Dalton, the father of modern chemistry.

B: Growing up, I never heard that chemistry has a father. Who is his mother?

A: Okay, okay, let’s not talk about study, let’s talk about your life.

B: Ah, my life here is so lovely. I feel like I am living in sweet happiness.

A: Oh, tell me in detail.

B: One day I went to the canteen to eat. After eating, I put my rice bowl in the canteen, but when I came the next day, it was gone.

A: What should you do?

B: So I posted a notice at the door of the cafeteria: Dear classmate, you accidentally took away my job. I deeply regret this because I have hepatitis A, hepatitis B, and hepatitis C. , liver cirrhosis, myocardial infarction and meningitis, I hope to put my job back where it belongs.

A: Can you still survive?

A: What happened next?

B: Early the next morning, I went to the door of the cafeteria and saw more than 200 rice bowls piled at the door.

A: More than 200? What do you do?

B: I picked out three of the most beautiful cooking bowls, two were used as urinals, and one was used as a washbasin. The rest were sold to the scrap collector for more than 100 yuan, which is enough for me. One day's food expenses.

A: That’s great. Then try it again.

B: But I have sold out all the jobs in our entire dormitory building. How about you give it a try?

A: I am not as kind as you.

B: Oh, thank you.

A: Fickle and heartless.

B: Senior, let’s change the topic.

A: OK, what are we talking about?

B: Sensitive and stimulating.

A: What?

B: Puppy love.

A: I exercise every morning to see how good my body is. Are my biceps fake? (Action)

B: I’m not talking about this, but that.

A: Which one?

B: That’s right.

A: Oh, I focus on learning and have no distractions.

B: I also put study first, but those girls always make secret glances at me.

A: What kind of eyes?

B: Radio waves in autumn.

A: How do they look?

B: Each of them is better than an ox. A turn of the head can frighten Xi Shi to death. If this continues, I won’t be able to bear it and I will commit suicide.

A: Slow, life is so sad, death is so painful, everyone has a lock that cannot be opened, just open it if you want.

B: Yes, I think about it. As soon as I think about it, I will write love letters to them. One day I slipped a love letter into a girl's textbook.

A: Did she see it?

B: Of course I saw it, and I was very excited.

A: What then?

B: Call the police.

A: Call the police? What did you write?

B: I have been paying attention to you for a long time, hehehehe.

A: How do you threaten people?

B: I’ve never written it before. I knew it wouldn’t work this way, so I changed it.

A: What did you change?

B: You are from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I am from Zhoukou, Beijing. I grab your hairy hand and bite it gently. Love makes us walk upright.

A: How about this time?

B: She smiled slightly after seeing it.

A: Hey, smile slightly?

B: Then he opened his mouth and said to me: You protein!

A: Wow, you succeeded!

B: No, her protein is stupid, idiot, and neurotic.

A: Is it over like this?

B: It’s over.

A: What a miserable love story, let me lend you your shoulder (action).

B: The first love that died in infancy was stillborn, a ruthless death.

A: Hey, Fatty, setbacks are inevitable in a person's life. Difficulties and sorrows are a person's spiritual wealth. The road to study is difficult. Don't covet the scenery on the road. Wait until you arrive to appreciate it. It’s not too late. Men are born from men’s mothers, and women are born from women’s mothers. Once a man gets mixed up with women, he will become neither male nor female. Students should focus on learning, be pure and indifferent, and cultivate their moral character, so that they can fully show their true qualities as men.

B: Am I really wrong?

A: Time flies by, and youth should be cherished. Don’t let your young head turn gray easily, and you will feel so sad.

B: In the future, I will get out of the sea of ??drowning and work hard to make progress.

A: Then express your determination to everyone.

B: There was once a precious time in front of me, but I didn’t cherish it. When I lost it, I regretted it. The saddest thing in the world is this. If God gives me another chance, , I must study hard. If I have to add a limit to this, I hope it will be a lifetime.

A: OK, Pangpang, let’s go home and do our homework