Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - The coldest joke in history

The coldest joke in history

● Rental prestige

The fox said to the tiger. Your majesty, the last time you lent me your prestige, you saw that your prestige was not reduced, but more deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. ?

The tiger said to the fox. You are a smart man, and now it is a market economy. I won't lend you prestige for nothing next time; As for renting a house, you can consider it.

● Lying will be struck by lightning.

Chat with your best friend.

Her right hand food index said to me overhead: Dan, you have lost weight. ?

I'm so happy that losing weight for a year has finally worked. By the way, ask her why her fingers are so high.

She said:? Put a lightning rod on your head. If you lie, you will be struck by lightning. ?

Fiona Fang, what do you think of plastic surgery?

As an adult, plastic surgery is a private matter, and women are pleasing themselves. You and I are both men, so sit down and enjoy success.

You are too enthusiastic.

I never forget to ask before paying? Is it really sold at a loss? Boss:? Absolute loss! Sell one thing and lose one? . Me:? Dude, it's not easy for you. I'd better not buy it. .

● Form paper

Bao Zheng: What about today's newspaper?

Gongsun Ce: The students wrapped it in garbage and threw it away ~ ~

Bao Zheng: Mr. Gongsun, we haven't seen it yet. How can you throw it away?

Gongsun Ce: What's there to see? It's all bone residue and banana peel ~ ~

● Believe in love

Forget Ling He, Liu Ye and Nana, and make peace! ! ! As long as your mother is with your father, your grandmother is with your grandfather, your grandfather is with your grandmother, your aunt is with your uncle, your uncle is with you, and your uncle is with your aunt, you must believe in love! !

I shared a room with the goddess last night.

A buddy told me that I shared a room with the goddess last night. Although it was a double bed, we didn't do anything all night. I think sometimes some things are not afraid to do, but we just don't want to do it! ? I said with special contempt: you have bunk beds on the train, and I am among you. How dare you say it?

● Don't deliver it to the door.

One night at school, I went to the movies with a junior. It was already eleven o'clock. She couldn't go back to the dormitory, so I smiled insidiously and said to her, Haha, I can't go back to the dormitory. She bowed her head and said shyly, hmm. Then I laughed even more happily: I can go back, haha?

Brother runs very fast.

In the evening, they took a walk and came to a lonely path. The woman said to the man deliberately coquetry. Will there be bad people? I'm scared! ? The man immediately stood up and said, don't be afraid, I'm here. ? The woman said:? Brother, what's your skill? Just listen to this guy:? My brother runs very fast. ?

I moved my heart.

One day, after stealing the money, Xiao secretly found that the hostess was asleep, so she moved her mind, so she quietly tore off the sheets, took off her clothes and turned on the electric fan. ...

She is a disabled person.

I remember quarreling with a little girl in kindergarten when I was a child. She was very angry and took off her pants. Since then, I have made way for her everywhere, because I always thought she was disabled. ...

● Still very certain.

My son failed in the middle school entrance examination and was scolded by his wife. I went to comfort my son: You must study hard and surpass your father in the future. ? The son paused, and he said weakly: I can't promise anything else. However, I am sure I can find a better wife than you in the future. ?

I heard you were transferred.

I heard you were transferred. Have you been promoted? B: Well, it has been promoted. I used to look after a small office, but now I am transferred to the gate to see the whole company.