The young man asked the Zen master what Zen was.

1. The young man asked the Zen master, "Master, I ..." "There are some things I can't let go of some people, right?" The young man exclaimed, "How does the master know?" "Come on, come on," said the Zen master, pulling the young man away. "I've cooked all the hot water, and you idiots will be miserable if you don't get scalded."

2. The young man asked the Zen master, "Faye Wong, Li and Zhou Xun are all single and their stars are dazzling. Why can't we be together? " The Zen master took out a dish of sesame, a dish of peanuts, a dish of melon seeds, a dish of walnuts and a dish of almonds for the young people to taste, and asked him, "Is it delicious?" The youth nodded his head. The Zen master took out a five-kernel moon cake for the young people to taste, and the young people suddenly realized after vomiting.

3. The young man asked the Zen master, "Master, chicken soup geometry, can you laugh at life?" The Zen master suddenly slapped the young man on the ground and handed him a cold medicine. After eating, the young man suddenly realized, "Master, you mean that my cultivation of chicken soup is still very weak. Should I use chicken soup to improve myself at any time in my life? " The Zen master shook his head and said, "You have taken the wrong medicine."

4. The young man asked the Zen master, "I am often bullied and can't stand straight." The old Zen master smiled and took out a snake. The young man realized, "You want me to be as flexible as a snake, right?" The old Zen master smiled and replied, "Whoever bullies you, just put this thing under his bed ..."

The young man asked the Zen master, "I broke up with my girlfriend who had been together for 7 years." Does love not exist? " The Zen master smiled and took the young man to the court where he was playing. "You'll see." The young man thought for a long time and said thoughtfully, "What the master means is that the meaning of love is like a game. As long as the process is hard, it doesn't matter what the outcome is?" The master closed his eyes and said, "No! I mean, it's none of my business if you break up? "

6. The young man asked the Zen master, "I am desperate for life because my wife has taken all the money." The Zen master took out an axe and cut off the table. The young man said thoughtfully, "Did the Zen master ask me to break my immediate fear?" The Zen master said, "You still want to talk to me when you have no money! Believe it or not, I will kill you! "

7. The young man asked the Zen master, "Master, what do you think is patriotism?" The Zen master sat on the futon and turned a deaf ear. I haven't seen a response for a long time. On reflection, the young man seemed to suddenly realize, "Master means that although you are an ordinary person, even if you have the love to die for your country and are full of blood to kill the enemy, you should keep it deep in your heart and don't need to show it?" The Zen master instantly threw the futon under his seat, glared at him and cursed, "If you can't afford the high fragrance of 6,000 yuan, don't disturb the old lady's lunch break here!" Get out! "

8. The young man asked the Zen master, "How can I end being single?" The Zen master pointed to the opposite mountain, and the young man said thoughtfully, "Does the Zen master mean that there is another master on the opposite mountain who can answer me?" The Zen master said, "I don't want to be a fucking Zen master." Are you still asking me? There are still vacancies on the opposite mountain, so you should be a Zen master as soon as possible. "

9. The young man asked the Zen master, "Master, I have been under a lot of pressure recently. How can I relieve stress? " The Zen master took out his mobile phone and said with a smile, "Young man, let's play a game to relax. Have you ever played rhythm master? " The young man hesitated for a while, thinking it was National Day, and suddenly realized that he had hit the Zen master!

10, the young man asked the Zen master, "Everyone says I'm ugly. Am I really ugly? " The Zen master picked up a glass of water and poured it on the young man's head. The young man is puzzled: "You mean, I am not so ugly when I wash my hair every day?" The Zen master replied: "Ugliness is even uglier at the end, and it is even uglier to raise a glass to pour ugliness."

1 1. The young man asked the Zen master, "Master, I am rich now, but I am not happy at all. Can you tell me what to do? " The Zen master asked, "What is wealth?" The young man replied: "There are 8 digits in the bank card and 3 suites in Wudaokou. Isn't it rich? " The Zen master didn't speak, but held out his right hand. The young man suddenly realized, "Did Zen master let me know how to be grateful and repay kindness?" "No, local tyrants ... can you ... be friends?"

12, the young woman asked the Zen master, "Why am I young and beautiful, but no man likes me?" The Zen master asked, "Do you know why men prefer the sea to the lake?" The young woman thought for a moment and replied excitedly, "I see, because the sea is a big challenge, and men like challenges, so they like the sea, right?" Zen master: "challenge my ass because the sea is big!" " "

13, the young man asked the Zen master: "I have never been able to catch up with the girl I like. What should I do? " The Zen master opened his eyes and pointed to the snail struggling to crawl on the trunk next to him. The young man suddenly realized, "Zen master, do you mean that as long as you persevere like this snail, you will always succeed?" The Zen master swung the wooden fish and slammed it: "Silly X, you have to have a decent house like it first!" " "

14. The young man asked the Zen master, "Some of my friends are divorced. What if you don't believe in love? " The Zen master smiled and pointed to a wooden hammer in front of him and said to the young man, "You'll see." The young man pondered for a long time and said thoughtfully, "What the master means is that the meaning of love, like this wooden hammer, seems insignificant. As long as you persist, it will be strong?" The master closed his eyes and said, "No! I mean, divorce is none of your business. "

15, the young man asked the Zen master: "The master answers questions all day and helps all beings. How can he practice quietly and not be disturbed by worldly things? " The Zen master smiled: "I always turn off my cell phone before going to bed every night!" " "

16, the young man asked the Zen master, "I have a big dream. If it is realized, there will be no more disputes in this world. So I need a lot of money, master. Can you help me? " The Zen master took out a children's hat and a pair of children's gloves and put them on the young people. Then he asked, "How do you feel?" "Hands, head is a little tight." "Me too."

17, the young man couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, so he asked the Zen master, "Master, I often suffer from insomnia. What should I do? " The Zen master closed his eyes and said nothing, pointing to the wall of the Zen room. The young man followed the hope, and a white wall came into view, and there was nothing else in the wall. The young man pondered for a long time, and suddenly realized, "Master means to abandon your distractions and have nothing to worry about before you can fall asleep?" The Zen master shook his head and was furious: "I mean, fuck off!" " It's one o'clock in the morning, don't let people sleep! "

18, the young man asked the Zen master: "Why do most men and women who succeed in holding hands in blind date programs cheat in the end?" The Zen master took out a rubber band and made him suddenly let go. The rubber band bounced over and the young man's head was sweating. Squinting his eyes and rubbing his aching hands, he suddenly said, "You mean those injured people who are always unwilling to let go?" The Zen master said angrily, "I mean pimping will not come to a good end."

19, the young man asked the Zen master, "Why do the local tyrants refuse to be friends with me when I have tried everything?" The Zen master sat for a long time, took out a bar of soap from behind and threw it on the ground. The young man suddenly realized: "It turned out that the Zen master made me understand that I would miss many things in my life. It's not that true friendship is not worth mentioning at all. What I can't keep will eventually be lost! " The Zen master sighed and said, "No, I want you to take soap at the local tyrants when you take a shower!" "

20. The young man asked the Zen master, "Master, I love my girlfriend very much. She also has many advantages, but there are always a few shortcomings that I hate very much. Is there any way to change her? " The Zen master smiled and replied, "The method is simple, but … have you heard of Amway?"

2 1, the young man asked the Zen master, "I kissed many times and confessed to many girls I like, but I didn't succeed once." Why? " The Zen master stood up silently and took off his pants to pee. "Zen master, what are you doing?" "Come and see and you will understand."

22. The young man asked the Zen master, "Master, some people have some things I can't let go." The Zen master casually threw down a bar of soap and said, "You see, putting it down is actually very simple, but it is more difficult to pick it up. Why don't you try to pick it up now? "

23. The young man asked the old Zen master, "I don't feel safe alive. What should I do? " The old Zen master pointed his finger at his chest. The young man suddenly realized, "I see. Only when it has nothing to do with the heart can you be carefree, right? " "No," the old Zen master slowly took out a small notebook from his chest, which read: "The Secretary of State of the United States is here at the request ..."

24. The young man asked the Zen master, "I am always uneasy inside, Master, can you teach me how to settle down?" The Zen master took him to the garbage dump and told him, "Pick any one and throw it down the hill." The young man did as he said, and when he came back, the Zen master told him to fall again, eight times in a row. After the fall, the young man asked the Zen master, "Master, are you trying to tell me to stick to it?" The Zen master replied, "I asked you to take out the garbage. Thank you for taking out the garbage for us."

25. The young man said, "I want to have a lot of money." The Zen master said, "As long as you can find seven balls, your wish will come true." The young man asked, "Are you talking about the Dragon Ball?" The Zen master shook his head and said, "No, it's a two-color ball."

26. The young man asked the Zen master, "Master, I am so upset that I can't calm down. I feel very painful because my heart is blocked. " The Zen master smiled, raised his hand to the south and said leisurely, "Go to the south to see the sea." The young man asked thoughtfully, "Is this to cultivate my sentiment and feel the broad mind of the sea?" The old Zen master shook his head: "If the sea can, it will take away your ugliness."

27. The young man asked the Zen master, "There are some things I can't let go." The Zen master threw the pork belly raised to his mouth into the garbage basket. Young man: "Are you asking me to correct my mistake, be kind and put down my butcher knife to become a Buddha?" The Zen master said, "I want to tell you that there will be no future unless you let go of your belly!" " "

28. The young man asked the Zen master, "I have goals, strong opinions, self-motivation, integrity and talent. Why can't I find anyone up to now? " The Zen master took him into the yard without saying a word, and several plum trees were silently revealing their fragrance. "Plum blossoms come from bitter cold ..." The young man was very moved: "Master! Do you want to tell me that I can get what I want as long as I keep working hard? " The Zen master shook his head: "You didn't say anything in front of Mei."

29. The young man asked the Zen master, "My colleague bought a car and my classmate bought a house. Even my hair is worth a million dollars now, but I'm still broke. What should I do? " The Zen master took out an egg from the kitchen and handed it to him without saying a word. The young man looked at the egg in his hand: "You mean ... you take money lightly?" The Zen master pointed to the egg: "I mean you have an egg to use."

30. The young man asked the Zen master, "Master, can I ask you a question?" "Have you finished eating? He's in a mental hospital. Why don't you let him go? " The nurse behind the master scolded.

3 1, the young man asked the Zen master, "I am a noble man and can't tolerate this filthy world." The Zen master took out a bag and asked the young man to put the garbage in the house. The young man quickly filled it, and the Zen master took out another bag. The young man suddenly realized, "You mean, as long as you have a broad mind, you can tolerate the world?" The Zen master shook his head, pointed to the bag and said, "pretend, you keep pretending."

32. The young man visited the Zen master and said, "I think I may be a little abnormal. I like to force other men to commit same-sex adultery. I always have to torture them to be happy. " Without saying a word, the Zen master silently picked up a porcelain cup and put it on his chest. The young man suddenly realized, "Are you telling me to be merciful and get rid of bad karma from now on?" The Zen master said, "Be merciful to your sister! You take one more step and I'll kill you! "

33. The young man went to the Zen master to complain. The Zen master smiled and took out a handle and put it on his forehead. He has a banana and an apple in his mouth, then a pot in his left hand and a cup in his right hand, and he pours hot tea. Then he took out an axe and threw it into the air. Finally, he took out a scorpion and stung himself. The Zen master said, moving is natural, and stinging is natural? Did you hear the cry of pain from the sky? He wants bananas, but you don't give apples. When it hurts, it will naturally be put down. After listening, the young man dialed the telephone of a mental hospital. "

34. Someone visited the Zen master: "Which do you think is better, People's Daily or Global Times?" The Zen master smiled and pointed to the hut in the temple. You'll understand when you go to the convenience. Someone went and squatted for a long time: "Master, I had a good time, but why is there no toilet paper in the toilet?" The Zen master smiled and said, "Yes, look up at the shelf. There are two newspapers you mentioned on it. Use which one you think is good. "

35. I finally found the Zen master who lived in seclusion in the deep mountains. He couldn't wait to ask, "I'm ugly. What should I do? " "If you are ugly, you should be like me." The young man nodded: "It's quiet inside, alone?" "No, ugly will like me to find a mountain to hide.

36. The woman asked the Zen master: Why did some people find Gao Fushuai when they were superficial, ignorant and stupid but witty, smart, gentle and kind?

Like me, but still can't leave the group? Without saying a word, the Zen master took out a hundred-dollar bill and a Zhang Yiyuan bill. The woman asked, "Does the master mean that wealth will disperse one day?" The Zen master said, "No, look at the face."

37. The Zen master sits in Yuntai and meditates every day, rain or shine. An admirer asked the Zen master, "Why do you have to sit for four hours every day, but what is the mysterious method?" The Zen master said indifferently, "The first two hours have washed my mind and washed away all the dust." "What about the last two hours?" "My legs are sore and I can't stand up ..."

38. A samurai asked the Zen master with a live fish in his hand: I'll make a bet with you. Do you think this fish in my hand is dead or alive? The Zen master thought: If it is alive, the samurai will trample the fish to death. But knowing that it was alive or dead, he made up a lie. Which is more important, fish life or principle? The Zen master pondered for half an hour and finally said that it was dead. The samurai looked at the fish in his hand and said that it was alive half an hour ago.

39. Louis Koo asked the Zen master, "Master, netizens said I was black. What if I am very upset? " The Zen master touched Louis Koo's head, and Louis Koo suddenly realized, "Are you telling me to keep a clear head?" The Zen master was very angry: "Bullshit! The room was completely dark as soon as you came in. I want to know where you are!

40. What is the gap between love and hate? After the young man knelt for 998 1 day, the Zen master told him: Leave.

4 1, a buddy went to tell a fortune and said, "Master, I dreamed that all my teeth fell out last night." The master hung up the phone and said, "Don't worry, dreams are the opposite!" " The buddy asked, "Then what does this mean?" The master said flatly, "That means your lower teeth are going to fall out ..."

42. Young people meet the Zen master: My girlfriend always breaks up with me. I hope the expert can give me some advice. "The Zen master smiled without a word, caught a chicken and wrapped a thread around the chicken leg. As soon as he pulled the rope, the chicken fell down and struggled to keep walking. The Zen master pulled again and the chicken fell again, and so on eight times.

If the young man realizes, "Master, are you asking me to play hard to get and catch a big fish?"

The Zen master smiled: "Young man, I let you play j8.

43. A Zen master saw a scorpion fall into the water and decided to save it. Who knows, a scorpion stung his finger. Without fear, the Zen master attacked again, but I was stung by a scorpion again. A person nearby said: Always stinging people, why save them? The Zen master replied: Sting is the nature of scorpions, and kindness is my nature. Can I give up my nature because of its nature The Zen master added, "Sting is love. I can't say clearly. "

44. The young man asked the Zen master, "There are some things that I can't let go of some people."

Zen master: "Nothing can't be let go."

Youth: "But I just can't let go."

The Zen master asked him to hold the teacup and then poured hot water into it until it overflowed.

The young man was burned, but he still wouldn't let go. The young man was furious: "You'd better tell me something about Zen!" " "

The Zen master was puzzled: "Hey? Are you paralyzed? "

45. A young man went to visit the Zen master: "Recently, my hair is about to fall out. Please advise. "

The Zen master closed his eyes and said nothing, pointing to the wall of the Zen room.

The young man looked around and saw a black wall. This wall is made of square bricks, but it is seamless without the help of cement.

The young man exclaimed, "This wall is very important. I don't know what the meaning is? "

The Zen master smiled and replied, "I went to the mud yard to build a wall."

46. The young man asked the Zen master: I always get along with my brothers. They hate me, and I hate them. ...

The Zen master smiled and took out a chopstick and handed it to the young man: Come on, break it …

Young people pick up chopsticks and break them easily.

The Zen master took out 47 chopsticks, and the young man grabbed them and broke them all.

The Zen master pondered for a moment, assumed a posture, and killed the young man with great mercy.

47. A man asked the Zen master, "What should I do if someone stabbed me in the back? 」

The Zen master picked up an axe and threw it into the sky. Then he asked, "Do you hear the sound of pain in the sky? 」

The man shook his head and said, "An axe can't hurt the sky. How can the sky shout pain? 」

The Zen master nodded: "The sky is so high and vast, and the axe is thrown again ... Oh, my God."

48. A young man asked the Zen master, "Faye Wong and Li are divorced. Does love not exist? " The Zen master smiled, pointed to two birds in the tree in front of him and said to the young man, "You'll see." The young man pondered for a long time and said thoughtfully, "What the master means is that the meaning of love is like these two birds, seemingly free, but actually helpless? Seemingly illusory, as long as you keep looking, you can find and fly with me. " The master closed his eyes and said, "It's none of your business!"

49. The young man asked the Zen master, "Master, I like a girl, but I am thousands of miles away from her, and she doesn't like me." The Zen master just smiled and drew two horizontal lines on the paper. Youth has everything: "you mean, she and I are like two parallel lines that never intersect." If you can't get it, you can't get it. This is not fate! " Zen master: I especially mean you "two". Why are you chasing me when people don't like you?

50. A young man went to a temple today and asked a monk: Excuse me, how can I get a lot of wealth? The Zen master told the young man: According to legend, as long as you collect seven balls, you can get a lot of wealth. The young man quickly replied, I know, it's a dragon ball, and the Zen master said, it's a two-color ball!