Rich husband jokes about dialogue.

I am a thief, if I can add an adjective, I hope it is amazing, but most of my colleagues think it is more appropriate to call it unlucky.

This is my miss 18 this year. Hardly had I entered the museum when a security guard stopped me.

He said, "Miss, you can't go in."

"Why?" I asked in surprise.

He pointed to the backpack behind me. I looked back and almost fainted. There is a penetrating pry at the mouth of my backpack.

In this way, I was kicked out without even entering the door.

In desperation, I haven't entered the rented cabin yet, but I met the last person I want to see at the moment-my landlord, Mrs. Zhang.

Mrs Zhang said, "Miss Ran Yan, it's not easy to meet you. You are a dragon without a tail. " She glanced at my backpack and I quickly hid it. She went on to say, "You owe me 1 the rent in 800 yuan. Pay it now! "

I felt in my pocket, and there was only 5 yuan's money at the moment. So I laughed, "Mrs. Zhang ..."

I fell on the bed, and Mrs. Zhang's harsh threatening voice echoed in my ear: "Tomorrow, please pay at once, otherwise please get out!"

Mrs. Zhang is a Shanghai woman with a cold face and a cold heart. She is rich, but she haggles over every ounce. Sometimes I really doubt that she has no feelings for other humans except her husband.

Hey, NND, when the old girl first came out of the Jianghu, she stole six rare treasures overnight. Now, she can only sleep on the street in a mere 1800 yuan. 55555555……

A year ago, I was a rich man. I sold a few treasures and saved about100000. I wanted to have fun for several months, but I met my classmate Xiao Jia.

That day, Xiao Jia came to see me and was pregnant. Oh, my god, grandma's twist. I haven't seen it for half a year. When did she stride from single girls to get married?

As soon as she saw me, she knelt on the ground: "Ran Yan, help! Two lives depend on you!" "

I can't stand such a big gift. Get her up quickly.

She squeezed out tears: "I was cheated by a man." He said he would marry me, but now he's gone. The baby is coming soon, and I don't even have a penny. " Ran Yan ... "She knelt down again. I said, "Sister, don't kneel. You say a word and kneel once. How can I finish listening? "? Shall I find the bad boy for you? "

"No, no," she blinked and looked at my wallet. "Just give your big nephew two dollars to spend."

Oh, money. I quickly took out my passbook and gave it to her with the password. She was very grateful and said, "I will go out to work after the baby is born and pay you back within one year."

I believe.

I don't know, three days later, I was wandering in the street, but I met my senior sister again. She is holding a man's arm, shopping happily, and her stomach ... is heavy again.

I know I was cheated. It's like capsizing in the gutter. I wandered the Jianghu at a young age, but I didn't expect to be cheated by my fellow martial sister. I stopped her in the bathroom and she knelt down again. I don't care what tricks she plays this time. "I want money!" I yelled!

She shed tears: "Ran Yan, I don't want to do this. I am six years older than you. I want to find a good man to marry. " Now this man, everything is fine, but he doesn't have much money, so ... you are still young, and there are many opportunities to make money in the future. I don't want to be a thief, so I don't have much money. Is it wrong for my sister to ask you for some money? "

I blinked and said nothing.

The teacher elder sister blinked: "You see, my wrinkles grow one millimeter a day. Soon my face will be covered with wrinkles. Everyone is a woman. Can you bear it? "

Although I just can't see any wrinkles on her body and who is the best defender, I just eat soft rice instead of hard rice. Forget it, money is a foreign thing, let's distribute it!

However, not long after, I suddenly received a phone call from other students, saying that Sister Jony J had married a rich husband and had flown to the United States.

I wondered, "didn't you say her husband had no money?"

"What? He is the son of a very rich man. "

Ah ... Since you found such a rich man, why did you cheat me of my money?

A few days later, I received a letter from my senior sister. She said, "My senior used your money to make a dowry for herself. Baby, this is your last class. People are in the Jianghu, don't trust anyone! Anyway, this Jianghu truth is worth hundreds of thousands! For your kindness's sake, I'll give you a golden truth for free-you must marry a rich man, and when you meet a rich man, you must do whatever it takes to pester, cry, make trouble and be cruel, you know? Mix well, 88! "

In this way, my hard-earned money hit Shui Piao thousands ... and, strangely, I have been unlucky this year since I was cheated by my senior sister. No matter what I do, I can't steal anything. Oh, home.

Someone knocked at the door. I opened the door and saw Mrs. Zhang again. I begged: "Mrs. Zhang, I beg you, give me a way out!" " "

She looked strange and said, "Do you want to be free of rent? Come with me if you like. "

Can I not think about it? Even if she wants to kidnap me now, I have to follow her.

She took me into a basement.

Her husband is a mysterious scientist, and Mrs. Zhang loves him deeply. He has been locked in his room, fiddling with the research results. I heard that Mrs. Zhang spent a lot of money, but I haven't seen what he studied.

Mr. Zhang has white hair and a fluttering beard. At first glance, he looks like a caveman.

The basement is large and full of instruments.

There is also a snow-white balloon in the basement. I am surprised that this balloon is the largest I have ever seen and can hold one person.

Mrs. Zhang said, "Dear, I found an experimenter for you."

The experimenter? What do you mean? In my mind, I can see the gorilla that I often see on TV, lying in the laboratory and killing people.

Mr. Zhang suddenly raised his head, his eyes shining like a child, and excitedly rushed up to grab my hand: "Be kind to young people and be promising, and I realized that there are many fellow travelers in this world who are as fascinated by the unknown as I am. Are you willing to support my research? " You will have the honor to witness the birth of one of the greatest inventions! "

What? For young people? I did Sarah laugh. It's good to be a thief.

He showed me his great invention: "You see, this balloon is made of very special material, which is not afraid of water, but also can prevent fire and violent collision."

"But, what does this have to do with me? I only have five dollars in my pocket, so I can't afford it ... "I stammered.

Nuo Nuo, Mr. Zhang shook his head: "I don't want you to buy it, I want you to sit in it ..."

He told me that all I had to do was sit in the balloon and spin a few times. He will use the principle of airflow and space black hole to launch me into the future world.

"It only takes five minutes. You just need to stay there for five minutes and take pictures of life there with a digital camera. I'll turn you back right away without any mistakes. "

I shook my head: "You are crazy, and I don't want to be crazy with you."

"Don't you want to know what the future world is like? How do they live? "

"I don't want to know, it's none of my business."

Who knows what people in the future world will be like? Three heads and six arms or no body at all, just sound. So when I go there, will they catch me and study me like an alien? Besides, what I want is not scientific research, what I want is ...

"50,000 pieces!"

Wait, what did I hear?

Mr. Zhang frantically held out five fingers: "Fifty thousand dollars, I will give you fifty thousand dollars in five minutes. Will you do it or not? "

"50,000 ..." I fainted to the ground with a bang.

For a cake buyer, 50 thousand yuan is like a big meat pie falling from the sky for a starving person like me. Let's take a breath!

I'm sitting in a balloon, wearing my tight black dress and a little light makeup. I'm going to meet someone in the future. I may be their great-great-grandmother, so I want to give these children a solemn and beautiful impression! I can't be found to be a thief! Mr. Zhang gave me a solar cell phone, which can be charged in the sun, so that I can keep in touch with him. In case of any accident, he will help me solve the problem in time.

I pressed the button.

The balloon began to spin. Turning faster and faster, I can only hear Weng Weng's voice, like an airplane, but faster than an airplane. Countless little stars fly around in front of my eyes, dazzling me. I'm starting to feel dizzy. Black at the moment, finally fell into a coma ...

I woke up and found myself still in the balloon, but I had stopped spinning. I picked up my cell phone and asked, "Teacher Zhang, are you there?"

Mr. Zhang's voice came from the intercom: "I'm here. Open the balloon cover and you can go out. You are in the future world. " I'll time you here and send you back in five minutes. "

I opened the balloon. Oh, my God, a stream of water suddenly came in. Unconsciously, I was entangled in a huge net again. The net caught me and all the balloons.

I was caught in a dragon boat, full of people wearing Qing clothes, yes, men with red tassels and long braids.

I said to my cell phone, "Mr. Zhang, are you kidding?" I am still in modern times, I am on the set. "

There is no sound on the mobile phone. When I looked at it, I found that my mobile phone was wet with water.

"Young lady! Miss, are you all right! " A girl-like man rushed out and hugged me. Rocking me.

"My mobile phone is broken. It's about water. Do you have a mobile phone to borrow? " I said to the maid, "You are mistaken. I am not your actor. " Please let me go ashore, three grams of oil! "

The servant girl was tongue-tied: "Miss, do you want to eat chicken for a while and oil for a while? What's wrong with you? "

An average-looking middle-aged man also ran over and said, "Like, are you okay?" ? You tripped and fell into the water, but you scared Amar. You are my only daughter. If something happens to you, how can I face your mother who died young? "

I can't help laughing. This line is so funny that the actors didn't see it clearly!

I explained, "Sir, you have the wrong person. I'm really not an actor ... "

The man who called himself Ama shook his head and said, "Go and get a doctor. Miss madness, nonsense ... "

I put on clean clothes passively, because my hair is short and I can't comb my bun, so I can only simply tie it up.

I put on my flag suit, my lips are red and my teeth are white, and my eyes are bright. The maid said, "Miss, when you are not crazy, you are really one of the best beauties in our Eight Banners."

I smiled and said, "What's your name?"

The servant girl was stupefied: "Miss, why did you forget my name? I am Xiao Lv, and I have been with you for 8 years. "

Little green? What a stupid name. I held back my laughter: "Excuse me, is it 2007?"

Little green is puzzled: "male ape?" What male ape? Are you asking what year this year is? It's sixteen years since Shunzhi! Our emperor has been enthroned 16 years. "

I'm dizzy! I wonder if I'm dreaming. Mr. Zhang, Mr. Zhang, you are really crazy. Where did you send me to the future world? You sent me to ancient times. Thank you very much for not sending me to feed the ancient dinosaurs.

I said, "I'm really not your wife. My name is Ji, my name is Ji, and I am ... "

Little green brought a picture scroll and said, "Miss, you drew this for yourself in the mirror. Look, why not you? "

I stared at the picture scroll and it was exactly the same, except for temperament, figure, age and appearance. The girl in the picture is dignified and demure, while I make faces like a monkey.

She ... I thought about it and changed my mouth: "What did I do to me? How did you get me out of the water? "

Little green sobbed and said, "then ask miss you." You have been in a daze these days. When I got up today, I only saw your figure flash by, and then I heard a plop. I know you slipped and fell into the water. I quickly called someone to save you, but fortunately it's okay. "

I sighed and thought nothing had happened. Your eldest lady doesn't know where she was washed by the water now.

I sent Xiao Lv away and kept yelling at my cell phone, but there was no sound.

It's over, it's over. I collapsed to the ground, suddenly remembered something, and immediately rushed to the deck. When I saw it, it was empty.

I shouted, "Hey, someone is alive, come out quickly."

A soldier hunched over and ran out. "Miss, what are your orders?"

"What about the dance? That ... "I drew:" Where did you put the ball and balloon? "

He said, "If you tell Miss Hui, we have dropped the ball into the water according to the order of General E Shuo."

Ah! I looked at the rolling river and cried for my balloon. I cried like a lady for the girl who fell into the water. If I could go back in time, I swear I would never covet the 50 thousand yuan that I can't get at all. I'd rather live on the street than come to this evil feudal era without movies, online games and equality between men and women.

"Mr Zhang! I will kill you! " I yelled at my cell phone, regardless of whether people around me thought I was crazy.

"Who am I?"

Little green looked at me with that strange look and answered honestly, "Miss, you are the only daughter of General E Shuo."

Like what? This name is really familiar. I thought about it and suddenly remembered a period of history. I jumped up in surprise: "Ah, like? Is the mother a talented woman of the Han nationality? "

Little green smiled: "How can you say that you are a talented woman?" ? However, miss, when you were not sick, you were really a talented woman. You see, these are your paintings and poems, and everyone says yes! You know everything. "

I looked at the photos on the table. Oh, my God, did I draw this? Although this young lady is 18 years old this year, she really hasn't studied for a few years. She can only say that she is a thief student who graduated from the thief university.

I seized the trouble and used it as a pen. After playing with her face several times, she became a cat.

I'm going to cry. I'm going to change history. I remember, just like in history, a fragile talented woman made the emperor shunzhi fall in love at first sight. However, just because of me, I have fallen into the water and died. Now I am a thief with no ink on my chest. I don't like such a girl, let alone the emperor, even myself.

What will the world be like if history is changed? I think this is a profound philosophical question that a simple-minded person like me really can't answer.

The only thing I know is that if history changes and "I" does not exist in 2007, then I will never return to my own time.

Therefore, no matter what means I use, I will "bubble" the emperor, otherwise I will become a sinner of history. I lament.

The ship docked and the capital arrived.

I sat in the bumpy carriage, opened the curtains and looked at the bustling traffic and people outside. It is as prosperous as the ancient city I saw on TV. That sugar-coated gourd string is really colorful and full, which makes my mouth water. There are monkeys, singers and vendors. Don't worry about the city management coming to drive them away.

I saw a shop with several beautifully dressed women standing, and I couldn't help laughing. This is about the legendary prostitute's home. I heard that famous prostitutes in ancient times were all excellent in color and art, so I should go and see them anyway. It's a pity that I lost my digital camera, otherwise I would get a good price if I took some photos back.

"Miss, don't look, people will laugh at us for being rude." Xiaolv advised me.

Well, being an ancient is really boring. I put down the curtain and said, "Little Green, you don't know that hundreds of years later, women can not only walk in the street, but also be officials and stars!" " "

Little green doesn't talk, she is used to my nonsense.

Finally returned to the general's office! What a magnificent house! Flowers are clustered and trees are shaded. I looked at the neat courtyard with appreciation, which was much better than my 12 square meter nest. In our time, this land was worth at least tens of millions, right?

I have been back in Beijing for several days, but my father has disappeared all day. I heard that the emperor was called to discuss state affairs. I really can't figure out how to know the emperor and put on a modern version of women seeking men. I was so bored that I decided to go out for a walk.

I asked Xiao Lv to find me a man's suit. They changed their clothes and went out into the street. Little green worships me very much, except that sometimes she thinks I'm crazy. I feel very good to have an obedient friend. I'm still not used to calling her a maid. All men are created equal.

We passed a beautiful spring courtyard, and a woman screamed, "Guest, come quickly. There is a flower contest in our courtyard today. With that pair of flower heads, you can get rid of beauty ... "

I barged in without a word.

"Childe childe ... this is not the place where serious people come in ..." Little green winked at me and dragged me out.

"Never mind, we are not serious." I nodded with a bad smile.

We found a place to sit down, and melon seeds and peanuts laid a table. Hehe, tea is also very fragrant, with a strong powder flavor. I'm beginning to think that ancient times are not bad, at least all consumption is not fraudulent, and it's very real.

I saw three teenagers sitting next to me. One looks about twenty years old, white and handsome, distinguished, and has a feeling of being proud of the world. One looks like a servant, and the other is daunting. In modern times, I may misunderstand that this strong man is a gentleman. I couldn't help looking at him with bedroom eyes, but I got his sharp eyes. I suddenly found that handsome guy was wearing a rare ruby pendant. I am a discerning person. This ruby pendant is worth at least1100,000.

"Rich people!" I think I'll get it anyway.

There is a flower-based appearance, and the flower name is Pearl, which is really tacky. Look at the small appearance, quite handsome, a bit like Zhou Xun.

She made a pair: "Ganlu silently embroidered with colorful flowers."

The sound of poetry rang out around. The owner of the ruby pendant responded: "Yangchun has feet to send ten rains and five winds."

Pearl blinked and added, "Blue Lamp is still a scholar."

The teenager responded: "Cui Yurong fought separately."

I dozed off. The ancients were so boring. Why don't we study why people can't fly?

Pearl said charmingly, "This childe is really literary, and my little girl is willing to sing a song for him." She sang softly, and I got up impatiently and left, only to be stopped.

A well-dressed servant said to me, "son, this is your first visit." Don't you know the rules? " When based on singing, no one is allowed to leave casually, otherwise it will be the symbol of based on singing. "

"Hit it. It's not easy to sing! " I said.

The room suddenly quieted down. Let me look around. What's wrong?

The servant said, "Miss Pearl is the invincible number one singer in Beijing. Son, you can't leave today without an explanation. He waved his arm.

I sneer, thinking that you probably don't know that I am a taekwondo master!

I said, "I sing better than her."

To tell the truth, I have quietly participated in Super Girl and made it to the top 50, but because of a single business, I have no time to continue to participate in the competition. So, I'm sure of my voice.

I was caught on the stage.

Little green looked at me from the audience, with a full face of anxiety.

I cleared my throat and sang, "Come on, I'm an apple, full of fruit ..." In my impression, this song seems to have some antique flavor. I remember this song was sung by Louis Koo.

The audience fainted.

The servant changed his face: "Your boy is here to smash the venue!" " Here comes the fist.

Wait a minute. I saw Redjade boy coming slowly: "I think he sings well, very distinctive!" " "

I patted him happily and stole the ruby pendant: "This childe still knows the goods."

"You are a group, right? Give it to me. " The servant was very angry and grabbed the guy and came at us.

I didn't do it because I didn't need it. The old gentleman solved everything in the blink of an eye.

I quickly pulled up Xiao Lv and fled in the chaos.

Just before I got to the door, I met Mr. Guto.

"bring it." He held out his hand to me.

"What?" I play dumb.

"Redjade pendant. It belongs to our master. "

"I don't understand, good dog is in the way, get out of the way …" I forced my way, and he grabbed my arm and hurt my five senses.

"No, no, no, can't I give it to you?" I reluctantly handed it over: "Why bother? He doesn't know, why don't you and I sell the money ... "

"Hehe." Laughter came from behind. As soon as I turned around, I saw the handsome guy coming out: "I'm glad you like it. Money is foreign to this young master, but I really can't give it to you. My mother gave it to me."

"Oh, it's generous to have such a rich mommy." I said enviously.

"Mommy?" He froze.

"Oh, it's mom's meaning, it's the dialect of our hometown."

He smiled and said, "What you said is very interesting, although I don't quite understand it. Tell you what, "he took off the bracelet on his wrist. "I give this to you, with the jade pendant. How about we make friends? I'll buy you a drink. "

"What am I?" I said angrily, "fair-weather friends?" I want to take advantage of you? Little green-"I shouted.

Little green came: "What's the matter, son?"

"Can we take something of value with us?" I asked.

She was a little embarrassed: "I just brought three taels of silver."

"Reward you." I threw three taels of silver and a ruby pendant to the boy. I slipped away quickly.

"Hello, what's your name?" His voice came over.

I ignored it and ran away.

That Mr. Gu is so good at kung fu that I can't afford to be taunted, so I have to hide.

Amar finally took me to the palace.

Along the way, he told me to pay attention to manners. Although people in Beijing now know that Miss Da in Fu Shuo, Hubei Province is just like falling into the water, and her already crazy and melancholy condition is getting worse now, I won't care about her mistakes, but at least I still want to keep the girl's own reserve.

If he knew that my purpose was to enter the palace, he would take the initiative to "bubble" the emperor, the richest man in the world. I wonder if he will cramp and fall to the ground.

Amar took me to the palace for a family dinner. It turns out that this kind of banquet invites aristocratic women of school age, and the male guests present are often children of the royal family, including the emperor, in order to choose Fujin for them and marry the emperor.

Amar was not fit to enter the harem, so she said a few words to me and left. I sat uneasily among a pile of Yingying Yanyan, looking around, wondering where the emperor was and whether he would hide behind the curtain to observe us.

Finally, a man walked in leisurely.

Headed by a middle-aged belle in her forties, her temperament is elegant and dignified, but there is a kind of majesty in her eyes. I heard the eunuch sing, "The Queen Mother is here ..."

Hehe, it turns out that she is the famous mother of Shunzhi in history, sourdrang queen. The middle-aged woman who is slightly young and looks very kind must be her dowry girl, the same famous Su Spicy. And then the next one. ...

It's a teenager. About seventeen or eighteen years old, heroic spirit, dark skin, like an athlete, alas, it's a pity that it's not my type. This young lady likes gentleness and doesn't like sports. He is wearing a bright yellow hat and a bright yellow belt. If he is not Shunzhi, who else can he be? There is a middle-aged lady standing next to the teenager, which is probably something like that.

Come on, come on, let's sit together! Empress Xiao Zhuang said kindly, "Today is just a family dinner. Miss Gege should not imitate the Han people, but show the personality of our Manchu and Mongolian girls. We should eat and drink. "

The atmosphere suddenly relaxed. Everyone is really not at home.

Empress Xiao Zhuang really lives up to her reputation!

I saw Shunzhi's eyes turn round and round on the girls. Hum, you are a pervert. When I finish my task, I will return to my world. In my day, if men dared to marry three or four, they would have been piled up by women.

Shunzhi's eyes turned to me, and I quickly took out the prepared glad eye and threw it out at a distance.

He caught it and paused, probably because other women bowed their heads shyly when he looked at it, but I dared to look into his eyes! He gave me a sunny smile.

Hehe, the first step of the seduction plan succeeded, at least let him remember me.

After the banquet, it was still early. Sourdrang queen said, "It's a beautiful day. Come with me to the garden! "

In this way, a group of people came to the garden.

Sourdrang queen told everyone to walk freely and be free.

So, I walked alone, thinking about how to carry out my second plan.

Suddenly, at the foot of the rockery, Shunzhi was competing with others for archery. And the other person, I am stupid, how can it be ... what?

The handsome guy I met, waving a fan in his hand, looked calmly. He is wearing a blue robe and looks like a teacher. I suddenly realized that I went over and asked quietly, "Are you teaching for the emperor?"

He frowned when he saw me.

I said, "You have a bad memory. I pointed to his ruby pendant and said, "OK, OK ... You said you wanted to buy me a drink, so you forgot? "

He woke up and covered his mouth with joy: "Ah, you, you, you are a woman! You went to a brothel ... "He suddenly shut up. Look around.

What's your name? I asked, "Is it for the emperor?"

He nodded stiffly: "Yes, I teach. My name is Joy. "

I shook my head: "Happy? Why is this name strange? You are not ... "I looked him up and down. "You're not a grandfather, are you?"

He finally couldn't help laughing: "You said I was a father-in-law? What do you think of my father-in-law? "

I muttered, "I look like everywhere."

I decided to ignore him and didn't answer him seriously. Scholars are so paranoid. I turned my eyes to Shunzhi and said, "Look, that's the Great Xia! More masculine. "