After eight years of marriage, my wife said she would divorce if she didn't have a second child. What should I do in a dilemma?

After the full liberalization of the second child, many families hope to have a second child, and many families give up having a second child for various reasons. However, the question of whether to have a second child has been entangled in some families. Some want it, older children object, and dare not take it easily. Some don't want it, but older children feel lonely and want their parents to give them another companion, and some couples want another one, resulting in conflicts. Serious contradictions, almost divorced. ...

0 1

Wei Jun and his wife have been married for 8 years. At present, there is only one child, almost four years old. Recently, his wife wants to divorce him. The reason for the divorce is that Wei Jun doesn't want a second child. His wife is very eager to have another child. Her life goal is to have two children, preferably a man and a woman, so that she can feel that her life is perfect and has no regrets. However, Wei Jun doesn't want it, so the couple have been at odds for a long time, and recently they have reached the point of divorce.

Wei Jun certainly doesn't want a divorce. He thinks it's ridiculous to divorce because he wants a second child, and he will be laughed at. Moreover, the eldest daughter is still young, less than four years old, very smart and lovely, and she has become extremely sensitive because of the contradictions of adults since she was a child. Wei Jun said, I really can't bear to watch my children grow up in single-parent families, and said that they lack maternal love and grow up with themselves. Wei Jun's wife told Wei Jun clearly during the divorce that she had no energy to take care of the children after the divorce, so she wouldn't take Wei Jun's children. This shows that after the real divorce, the children will be raised by Wei Jun. Wei Jun felt that no matter who the child was with, he was equally hurt. Therefore, he really doesn't want a divorce or a second child.

02

Wei Jun doesn't want a second child for a reason, not because his wife is selfish and afraid of taking responsibility. Almost four years ago, since the birth of the eldest child, his wife has been paying full attention to this child. But there are more and more family conflicts. First of all, taking care of children has overwhelmed two people.

At that time, both husband and wife were at work, and neither of them wanted to lose their jobs, and maternity leave was limited. So the situation at home becomes very difficult and subtle. Wei Jun said that his parents are over 70 years old and are in poor health. They didn't enjoy their blessings in their later years, but they also had to worry about taking care of their children. But there is no way, parents must bring it. At that time, my parents-in-law also had their own things. My father-in-law has not retired yet. Although my mother-in-law retired, she was rehired and had work to do. Therefore, taking care of children can only fall on Wei Jun's parents. It is three years in this area, and it is not until the children go to kindergarten that they end taking care of the children.

My wife is going to have a second child before she can catch her breath. Who will bring the second child? The couple have been arguing about this problem. Wei Jun said it's okay to have a second child, but this time I want my mother-in-law to help me. The wife said that her mother has a job and won't bring it. It's best for her in-laws to help me. Regal said that parents are getting older, which is obviously unbearable. Finally, each accused the other of being selfish, and no one persuaded him, so that both sides were very sad and wanted to divorce. Wei Jun thinks that if she really wants a second child, either her parents are exhausted, or family conflicts and trivial matters continue. His wife is bent on having a second child, but Wei Jun doesn't want to express these concerns. He thinks it will increase the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is really difficult. It is neither necessary nor necessary.

03

Recently, the husband and wife have fallen into a cold war. Wei Jun believes that if his wife insists on having a second child, then she can only consider divorce. It's not that he doesn't want it. He really has no ability or energy to ask for it any more. Even if the wife says not to let his parents take it, it is still a problem. What if no one takes it after birth? One child is tired enough. What if there is another small one?

Sometimes I think I really want a cruel divorce. However, on second thought, I think it's ridiculous to divorce on this issue. If you don't leave, the contradiction still exists. What if you can't solve it? Wei Jun said he wanted to play it cool, so he dragged it on, and he didn't want to leave. I don't know if it's feasible. For the sake of children, to save the family, and to be less embarrassed, he wants to swallow his pride and not quarrel with his wife, but he will not take the initiative to have children. I wonder if this idea can be implemented.

04

Indeed, if it weren't for the breakdown of the relationship between husband and wife, it would affect the relationship between husband and wife and lead to divorce because of having a second child. It's a little ridiculous. It's not worth it. But Wei Jun's last thought was too simple. Problems in marriage can only be faced, and there is no way to avoid them. If you don't solve it, it will always be there, just like a person who is sick and has been carrying it. It will eventually get worse, or it may eventually be incurable. So, don't think about cold treatment, but think about solving it.

Regarding whether to have a second child, Wei Jun should not unilaterally feel that there are many problems. Ask his parents if they can help, or if they have any difficulties. If parents think they can't bring it, besides, if parents think it's fun to bring it, why not?

In addition, you can also ask your mother-in-law's opinion, talk about the situation, and see if her mother-in-law can give up her job and help with the children. Maybe her mother-in-law would like to? Therefore, don't let couples make their own judgments when they encounter problems. Ask the people you want to help for advice first.

In other words, when you can't persuade your wife not to have a second child, then if you have the conditions and you want it in your heart, instead of being afraid to have a baby because no one takes it, then you can face this problem positively. For example, husband and wife can pay for a nanny to take care of their children, parents can help, and children can take them to kindergarten, as long as they are older.

Actually, I don't think whether to have a second child is the key issue. The most important thing is your relationship with your husband and wife. Is there a problem? If you really divorce because of the second child, I don't think the second child is the reason for the divorce. The deeper reason is that there is something wrong with each other's feelings, and their selfishness leads to divorce. Only consider yourself, regardless of each other's feelings, and stick to your own opinions, then even if such a marriage is inseparable, it may have exposed problems and contradictions in life are inevitable.

Therefore, to communicate well, it is better to think of a good way, spend more money and not give up your job, and don't think about having your cake and eat it. Either don't, and convince your wife that she really doesn't want it. Don't let her feel sorry for you and blame you in the future. If, with regret, I have no choice but to bury hidden dangers for my future marriage, so look before you leap, be careful!