I was just a joke from beginning to end.

This is not a dual personality. I don't know exactly. I feel that my situation is very similar to yours. In fact, sometimes I want to open my eyes. Don't let these negative emotions get in your way. Although I'm sure the psychological shadow won't just disappear, it will become indifferent as time goes by. You can try to write a novel. This almost melancholy personality is very suitable for being a writer. Because, the world that melancholy people see is not color, but black and white ... childhood trauma has put a thick protective film on you, and that smile may be your mask. When you are laughing, you must want time to stop at this moment. After all, happiness is hard to come by. But the root of your melancholy is that you see the world of mortals more thoroughly and have more States than ordinary children. These are often the advantages that you will benefit for life ... but also the fatal disadvantages. ..