Complete works of 400-word humorous stories

A son was born at home, a genius baby. After the child is born, he can talk and recognize relatives. Sadly, the relatives died as soon as the child called them. The child called grandpa, who was drinking water and choked to death at once. The child called grandma, who was stepping into the threshold and fell dead. The father of the child saw that the child was so old, took a look at the child and was preparing to run away from home. Unexpectedly, the child's eyes swept away and opened his mouth. Father trembled with fear. Sure enough, the child called "Dad". Father's heart suddenly sank to the bottom of the sea: "I can't die like this, I will die in bed!" " "My father climbed onto the bed on his legs and waited for death. Waiting and waiting, my father waited for hours, but he never died. Father's loyalty jumped up: "the baby can't beat dad!" "".Father is spreading everywhere. At this time, the neighbor's sister-in-law cried and informed her father: "My poor husband was fine just now, and suddenly he cried to death, inexplicably!" "The three ghosts complained that one day they met God when they were shopping! They told God that they all died miserably and hoped to send them to heaven! God said helplessly, there are too many residents in the sky now, and they are all full. But there's another place! You said, whoever dies the worst will go to heaven! So, the first ghost began to say ... I was a cleaner before I died. Work is very hard! Busy from morning till night! One day, I was cleaning windows outside a building! It's the kind of dangerous work hanging outside at high altitude! On the 30th floor! Suddenly, my foot slipped and fell! I think it's over! I'm dying! But the survival instinct makes me scratch unconsciously! Luckily, I grabbed the railing of a balcony on 13 floor. I feel saved! So I want to climb up after I recover! Who knows, suddenly someone patted my hand and I fell down again! I think I'm really finished now! However, my life should not be decided, and a tent caught me below. I am glad that I must have accumulated virtue in my last life! I want to wait for my physical strength to recover before I go down. Who knows, a refrigerator fell from it and killed me! The second ghost said ... I was a clerk before I died. Everything is fine. I have a beautiful wife. Great figure! But it's just a little water. I have a slight heart attack. One day I forgot to bring my medicine to work, so I went home to get it. As soon as I entered the door, I saw my wife's hair disheveled and disheveled. There must be an adulterer. So I looked everywhere in the house, kitchen and toilet, but I couldn't find it. When I got to the balcony, I found two hands on the railing and thought: adulterer! So he patted his hand. I think, 13 floor! See if I can fall to my death! As a result, I didn't die when I looked at it! Caught by the tent! I was in a hurry, so I searched all over the house and went into the kitchen. I found that the refrigerator was big enough and threw it away. Finally smashed him to death! I'm so happy! Laughing a lot. Who knows, laughing so hard, laughing so hard! The third ghost said ... I'm a punk, but I didn't do anything wrong! One day I went to a female friend's house to hang out! Just finished, her husband suddenly came back! I have to find a place to hide. So I searched the kitchen and toilet, and finally found that their refrigerator was quite big, so I hid in it! I don't understand how her husband knew I was in the refrigerator and threw it from the 13 floor! I just fell to my death in my refrigerator! Classic joke: Zhu Bajie's last love letter Yulan: Hello! Yesterday was a sad day for the whole world, and I finally left. I'm going to the Western Heaven on business with two other old bachelors, one is the Monkey King and the other is Tang Priest. I may not come back until three or five years later. Can you imagine my feelings when I left Gaolaozhuang? I am a three-step pig. How I wish I could stay in Gaolaozhuang and live a happy life with you. I plow, you weave, I pick dung, and you stock it. Harmony and beauty, kindness and love. When your father's legs straighten out, we will work together in Qi Xin to give birth to a large group of piglets. Then Qi Xin will send them to study together and train them into millions of pigs and doctors in the future. When we are old enough to have only one front tooth, we won't regret wasting time, and we won't be ashamed of doing nothing. What a great sense of accomplishment. We dare to pat our fat meat and say that all our life and energy have been dedicated to the most magnificent cause of pigs and strive for their succession. Unfortunately, all these beautiful dreams were punctured by that damn monkey. I took you away and burned my hole. I worked hard for many years, scrimped and saved, and only dared to kill 300 steamed buns in one meal. Finally, I bought a Xue Huadian brand 2 1 inch color TV and a bulldozer brand electric fan, which were donated by the dead monkey to the hardest hit area-Rebecca. Although color TV sets are often full-screen Xue Huadian, electric fans often roar like bulldozers, sweating. Dead monkey, if I can't beat him, I'll kill him, cut him into many pieces and dry him in the sun. Why haven't you eaten monkeys? I'll let you taste it one day. And that damn monk, go to the Western Heaven and get some bird scriptures. I suggest that he use door-to-door mail or door-to-door air transportation. He just wouldn't listen, and kept on being timid and calling a large group of people. In addition, there are plane phobia, train phobia, ship phobia ... except riding mules and horses, he is very afraid of everything he sees. There are also such freaks, and the state should quickly pay for captivity and set up a protection fund. Besides, what's the use of getting the classics back? It's just a facade in the study, which makes people wonder about his identity as a farmer entrepreneur. I know such people too well. You can't go. It's an old fool to catch up with the Tathagata. Guanyin is just in menopause, which annoys me and makes me easy to get laid off. I can't help it If you have difficulties, you must go; if you have no difficulties, you must go. Yulan, I really hate to part with you. As the saying goes, husband and wife get along well for a hundred days, but we get along well for two years. Although you always hold a pair of sharp scissors, I haven't touched a finger of yours, and we don't have a bed driving license issued by the civil affairs department, after all, we have lived together for two years. It pains me to think of the bits and pieces of our life together (this is an idiom, light light blue, I'm afraid you don't understand, so I have to explain it. Cut with scissors. I looked it up in many dictionaries. I know you are also upset, but what can you do? The ancients said: If the relationship is long-lasting, it will be sooner or later (the ancestors speak a little yellow, please don't blame your wife), Yulan, you must wait for me to come back. And I will definitely organize a homecoming group to kill it. Please be confident about this. Zhu is as graceful as an orchid. Pigs, pigs, pigs, pigs, pigs, pigs, pigs, pigs and bears wanted to keep a diary for thirteen years. When he found that his diary had been used up, he wanted to go out and buy another one to write. But it's already twelve o'clock at night. After searching for a long time, he finally found a bookstore before closing. He went in and saw a diary. He likes it very much, so he asks the boss how much it costs. The boss said in a low voice, "This is imported." The old bear said, "It's so expensive, but I have to pay 50 yuan." The boss said, "It doesn't matter, even if you are in 50 yuan." The old bear said happily, "Thank you, boss. "The boss said in a very low and gloomy voice," When you buy it back, don't open the last page, or something terrible will happen. Don't blame me for not reminding you! The old bear said, "OK, I get it." "The old bear bought the diary home. He opened the package and put it on the table in front of the room window. He wanted to take a bath before he came out to write a diary ... After taking a bath, Lao Xiong found that the window in front of the desk was actually open, and the wind was blowing the diary page by page ... When the last page was approaching, Lao Xiong went to stop it, but it was too late, and the last page was blown up. A terrible thing happened ... only the old bear let out a scream, because he saw the last page saying: (Please pull it down) .................... pulls again ... Keep pulling ... Soon, pull a little more ... Well, finally, I want to pull a little ... The last page says-Pricing: 3 yuan 1. My husband came home drunk, crept into the bathroom, found some plasters, put them on the wounds left by his drunken troubles in front of the mirror, and then quietly climbed into bed. The next morning, he was awakened by his wife. The wife shouted, "You said you wouldn't drink any more, but you broke your word and got drunk again yesterday. Look, how many plasters have been put on the mirror in the bathroom? ! "2. A thief sneaked into a mansion and rummaged through it. When he was ready to leave, the master came back. The thief hurriedly grabbed a sack beside him and put it on his body. He crouched in the corner of the living room, afraid to get out of the atmosphere. The host entered the room drunk, saw something in the corner of the living room and went over. He repeatedly touched his pocket and kept muttering, "What is this? Huh? The thief was very uncomfortable and impatient and shouted, "pumpkin!" Idiot! After listening to this, the host couldn't help complaining, "Why didn't you say so earlier?" Let Lao tze guess for a long time! "3. Rahsin is a heavy drinker, and the doctor advised him to practice yoga and give up drinking. A few days later, the doctor met his wife and asked how her husband was. Doctor, that's terrible. Now he can drink backwards. 4. An alcoholic got on the bus. He staggered up to a naval soldier and said, hey, buy a ticket. The navy soldier said: What? I'm not a conductor, I'm a navy. ; The drunkard said, excuse me, how did I get on the warship? Please let me off! 5, the county grandfather is good, as long as he doesn't drink for a day, he will be flustered. One day, the county grandfather was drinking, and suddenly someone drummed and complained, disturbing the county grandfather to drink. He angrily went to the court to ask questions, sat on the stage, patted the gavel and pointed at the complainant and shouted, Call me! Call me! The official pushed the plaintiff to the ground and asked, "Sir, how much do you want? "Squinting his eyes, the county grandfather pointed out his finger and said, no more, no less, give me three catties! 6. A drunken man staggered down the street with blisters all over his ears. One of his friends saw him and asked him what was going on. "Damn, my wife put the hot iron next to the phone. When the phone rang, I took the iron as the receiver. ""What's wrong with the other side? " The drunk's eyes stared: "It's burning here, don't you want to change sides?" "