Desperate for one or several jokes about furniture

1. I came quietly, walked quietly and waved a dagger, leaving no survivors

2. What is the biggest difference between Jesus and Sakyamuni? They have a big curly hair and a small curly hair.

3. Why are my eyes always full of tears? Because I pretend to be deep.

4. A real warrior who dares to face his face without makeup

5. There is no windtight wall and no beam that can't be hanged.

7. When there is a bright moon, look up and see for yourself

8. If you are together for a long time, you will be separated, and if you are separated for a long time, you will be together; Drinking will make you crazy, and you will drink whenever you drink

9. What's so unhappy about you? Say it to make everyone happy

1. The prince and the princess got married, and lived a life without shame

11. In front of the China team, the Thai team wearing the yellow jersey also had the demeanor of the Brazilian team.

12. When the Eight Immortals cross the sea, find their mothers. When the Eight Immortals cross the sea, please fasten your seat belts.

14. Women are made of water, men are made of mud, and Li Junji and Chris Lee are all made of cement.

15. Ow, ow, cry to the sky.

16. Men in bars are looking for excitement, while women are mostly experienced. Everything will suddenly become clear.

19. Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age.

2. My classmate named Yu Jingbo wrote a letter one day, and the dormitory doorman shouted at the entrance of the dormitory: The letter of dry cold rice noodles

21. Our Chinese teacher: Please turn your books to 12 yuan.

22. Raise two fingers and say to the students, "Students, the key to learning math well is three words! ! Do more exercises!

23. One day, I went to visit Guanyin with my parents and my brother.

I didn't wake up very much, so I went to the next stop and said, Avalokitesvara, who is suffering ...

24. When I was in FoxPro class in my sophomore year, a teacher started to count how many people were in our class, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 1, tick ... (Suddenly stopped)

27. My big name is God, my small name is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma number is Tathagata

29. I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a hundred-dollar bill, press "CTRL+C", and then keep "CTRL+V3. If I make trouble without reason, I will get something!

31. Happiness is a comparative level. You can't feel it until something is at the bottom.

32. One sentence "Take it" is better than two sentences "I will give it to you".

33. greetings are not necessarily formal, but they must be sincere and touching.

34. The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.

35. When a man meets a woman, there is only an anniversary, not an independence day.

36. Close my eyes, and I see my future ...

37. Give a shout when the road is rough, and then walk on.

38. When pants lose their belts, they know what dependence is.

39. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it crashes, it will crash, which is non-negotiable.

4. The breadth of the sea depends on the diving, and the broken drum can be beaten.

41. Those who have money hold a money field, and those who have no money go home and get some money to hold a money field.

42. A grievance that can be spoken is not a grievance; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

43. Smoking is not obedient, so we "smoke".

44. It is better to live beautifully than to be beautiful!

45. Apart from love, there are radishes in other people's fields.

46. I thought that "being invisible" would make others unable to find me. It's no use. People like me are like fireflies in the dark night, bright enough and outstanding enough.

47. We should persist in some things even though we know they are wrong, because we are unwilling; Some people, knowing that they love, have to give up, because there is no ending; Sometimes, knowing that the road is gone, you are still moving forward because you are used to it.

48. If diamonds last forever, one will go bankrupt!

49. The iron cock will leave some rust. You are a stainless steel cock!

5. Before I could have sex, I was pulled out.

51. Women are tolerant to those who please themselves, while men are poor to those who please themselves.

52. Everyone is original when he is born. Sadly, many people gradually become pirates!

53. Don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of being mentally ill is to have a brain.

54. Lie down where you fall.

55. Romance is a beautiful evening dress, but you can't wear it all the time.

56. Doing all ordinary things well is extraordinary, and doing all simple things right is not simple.

57. I'm not a prince. Why do girls always think they should be a princess when they meet me?

58. The most contradictory place between lovers is dreaming about each other's future, but thinking about each other's past.

59. The so-called fate is the reason when love succeeds and the excuse when it fails. The so-called wedding is a ceremony in which lovers become "family members"; The so-called breakup is something that a woman may not be able to do after saying it a hundred times, but a man can do it once.

6. The direction against the wind is more suitable for flying. I'm not afraid of ten thousand people blocking me, but I'm afraid of surrendering myself.

61. If you are angry for one minute, you will lose 6 seconds of happiness.

62. Happiness can only be doubled if you know how to share.

63. Being busy is a kind of happiness, which makes us have no time to experience pain; Running around is a kind of happiness, which makes us truly feel life; Fatigue is a kind of enjoyment, which makes us have no time to be empty.

64. Life is like "breathing". "Breathing" is for breathing, and "inhaling" is for fighting for breathing.

65. I asked Worry. He doesn't love you at all. Let me tell you not to flatter yourself. Health Let me bring you a love letter: He will never change for you!

66. knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

67. It's hard to love one person; it's fun to love two people; it's annoying to love three people; it's hard to love four people; it's fun to love five people.

68. A woman kissing a man is a kind of happiness, and a man kissing a woman is a kind of delicious food.

69. Getting married means putting on a cotton-padded coat for freedom. It is inconvenient to move around, but it will be warm.

7. The hero is sad about the beauty pass. I am not a hero, but the beauty let me pass.

71. Play with your life: You can only play with your life. If your life is gone, what can you play with?

72. As soon as others praise me, I worry that others praise me insufficiently.

73. Love is always holier than marriage, and marriage is always more affordable than love.

74. The journey of exploration lies not in discovering new lands, but in cultivating new perspectives.

75. I didn't mean to be different, so how can I have outstanding taste?

76. How far a person can go depends on who he walks with; How good a person is depends on who gives him advice; How successful a person is depends on who he keeps company with.

77. Sighing is the most wasteful thing, and crying is the most wasteful thing.

78. A man's brain likes a woman's heart, but his eyes like a woman's appearance.

79. If you have money, you will lose your family; if you have no money, you will worship God.

8. I got married at first, but I got divorced later.

81. salted fish turns over, or salted fish.

82. I can choose to give up, but I can't give up my choice.

83. As a typical failure, you are really successful.

84. Not everyone can keep a low profile, and the basis for keeping a low profile is to be able to keep a high profile at any time.

85. Women like bad-looking men, not bad-looking men.

86. The ancients said, "A woman is tolerant of herself", in fact, it should be "a woman is tolerant of herself".

87. Our love died on this day, just to give each other a chance to be reborn.

88. When the boss uses you, you are a talent, and when you are not used, you become a layoff!

89. A successful man can earn more money than his wife spends, and a successful woman can find such a man.

9. If you fall, get up and cry.

91. Sometimes the killer of marriage is not an affair, but time.

92. One moon, one you, two shadows, you and me. Sansheng is lucky to know you.

95. Let the future come and the past pass.

96. Tiny happiness is around, and easy satisfaction is heaven.

97. Is it necessary to be big? Dinosaurs are not extinct as usual!

98. A white lie is to find a good excuse for your deception.

99. Parents fool their children into calling education; Children fool their parents and call them cheating; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.

1. Loneliness is a person's carnival, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

11. Don't talk to me about feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money.

12. Humor means that a person has the interest to laugh when he wants to cry.

13. Love that doesn't feel pain is not true love, and marriage that doesn't feel happiness must be a sad marriage.

14. When one door of happiness closes, another will open. We often stare at the closed door, but turn a blind eye to the open one.

15. Coffee is bitter and sweet, not how to mix it at the end, but whether to put sugar; A pain is not how to forget, but whether you have the courage to start over.

16. People are tired because they can't put down their shelves, tear away their faces and untie their complex.

17. Love is putting your heart and soul into it, and then pulling out again!

18. I smile to the sky from the horizontal knife, and go to bed after laughing!

19. The most wonderful thing in life is not the moment when you realize your dreams, but the process of persisting in your dreams!