Two humorous stories and two ancient and modern jokes each

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Sun Yat-sen

China’s great revolutionary forerunner Sun Yat-sen (1866-1925), after a revolutionary action failed, Moved to Shanghai

Regain strength and wait for the opportunity to make a comeback.

One day, a few revolutionary comrades were bored and gathered four people together to play mahjong for entertainment. Unfortunately, Sun Yat-sen bumped into him.

They knew they had made a mistake, and panicked. You looked at me, I looked at you, not knowing what to do.

Faced with such an embarrassing situation, Sun Yat-sen not only continued to ask them to keep fighting, but also said with a smile: "Let's fight, playing mahjong is very similar to our revolutionary uprising. We will lose this game. It doesn't matter, but you can put your hope in the next game, which is always full of opportunities and hope."

After the victory of the Revolution of 1911, Sun Yat-sen became the interim president. Once, he wore casual clothes and went to the Senate to attend an important meeting. However, when the guard on duty in front of the gate saw the man in simple clothes, he stopped him and shouted sternly: "There is an important meeting today. Only the president and congressmen can go in. You are so bold." What are you going to do? Go away! Otherwise, the president will be angry and will definitely punish you!" After hearing this, Sun Yat-sen couldn't help but laugh and asked. Said: "How do you know that the president will be angry?" As he said this, he showed his ID.

When the guard looked at the ID, he realized that this man in ordinary clothes was actually the president. In panic, the guard fell to the ground and apologized repeatedly.

Sun Yat-sen hurriedly helped the guard up and said humorously: "Don't be afraid, I won't beat you."

Zhu Kezhen

During the Republic of China, scientists Zhu Kezhen served as the president of Zhejiang University and was deeply loved by teachers and students.

One day, there was a "principal's lecture" on the party program.

Zhu Kezhen took a look and felt that it was not good to give a "teaching" at the party. So, he said in his speech: "Classmates, the word 'training' comes from words and from rivers, which is just talking nonsense."

Everyone listened and burst into laughter.

Gu Hongming

On Zhang Xun’s birthday, the great scholar Gu Hongming (1856-1928) gave him a couplet, saying: “The lotus has been exhausted and there is no rain anymore

Gai, the chrysanthemums are still there, but there are still proud frost branches."

Later, Gu Hongming and Hu Shi talked about this matter, saying that "Qing Yu Gai" refers to the big hat of the Qing Dynasty, and "AO Shuang Branch". ” refers to the long braids that both he and Zhang Xun have.

Gu Hongming can not only speak about English literature, but also advocate feudal ethics.

When he was a professor at Peking University, one day, he and two American ladies explained the word "concubine" and said: "The word 'concubine' means immediate

female; when a man is tired ”

When the two American ladies heard this, they retorted: “Why can’t women lean on men when they are tired?”

Gu Hongming? Calmly defended: "You have seen 1 teapot with 4 teacups, how can there be 1 teacup with 4 teapots? The reason is the same."

Wang Chonghui

Legal scholar Wang Chonghui is here When I was in London, I once attended a banquet held by the diplomatic community. During the dinner, a British lady asked Wang Chonghui:

"I heard that men and women in your country get married based on the words of a matchmaker, and they get married without falling in love. How wrong is that! Like us,

We both got married after a long-term love and a deep understanding of each other. How happy it is!"

Wang Chonghui replied with a smile: "This is like two pots of water, our one. The kettle is cold water. It is placed on the stove and gradually heats up. Finally, it boils. Therefore, the relationship between Chinese couples is very cold at first, and then gradually gets better. Therefore, divorce is rare.

You are like a pot of boiling water that gradually cools down after getting married.

I heard that there are more divorce cases in the UK. Is this the reason?

Is this the reason? "

Yang Xiaolou

Yang Xiaolou (1877-1937) played the role of Guan Ping in the Peking Opera "Qingshi Mountain" on the First Stage in Beijing. He played Zhou Cang's old man

My partner took a leave of absence and was temporarily replaced by another colorful face. This colorful face drank some wine and came on stage in a daze.

He even forgot to bring an indispensable prop - a beard. .

When Yang Xiaolou saw that something bad was going to happen, he thought it would be bad if the actor made a mistake and the audience booed him, so he had an idea and added a line: "Hey! Who is standing in front of you? "

Hua Lian, who plays Zhou Cang, was puzzled and didn't know what was going on. "I am Zhou Cang——" At this time, the actor had to do an action:

Trim his beard. This The actor was so frightened that he woke up, but his mind changed and he said, "——'s son!"

Yang Xiaolou took it and said, "Well, it's no use to you. Go down quickly and call your father to come!" ”

“Accept the decree! "The actor quickly went down, put on his beard, and came back on stage.

Li Baozhen

The famous musician Li Baozhen received a doctorate in music education from Columbia University in the United States. He is committed to domestic music He made a great contribution to education, among which music such as "Farewell Song" and "Wearing the Flute" were widely circulated.

Li Baozhen taught students very interestingly. He once told his students: When I was teaching music in the early years, some naughty students couldn't even sing the eight major scales correctly. Some people sang "Looking at the Plum Blossoms and the Green Snow". Later, some students played pranks and sang

"More rice, less porridge" made the students burst into laughter. The classroom atmosphere was very lively and the teacher-student relationship was harmonious.

While singing, Li Baozhen often makes the mistake of only looking at the music score and not the conductor.

A good chorus member keeps the music score in his head, while a bad choir member has his head buried in the music score. inside. I beg you all to 'appreciate' me more when singing

and don't always 'work hard', because during the actual performance, we can't talk, we can only

Each other’s flirtations. "

Li Baozhen said something that made everyone laugh. From then on, he never took his eyes off the conductor when singing.

Hong Shen

In 1942, the dramatist Hong Shen wrote a play in Guilin. There was a villain in the play named Manager Zhang, but the play was banned the day after it was performed. It turned out that the manager of Guangxi Bank also had the surname Zhang, and he insisted on this. The play was a satire on him and he was not allowed to act. Hong Shen immediately held a press conference and announced: "I wrote a play in which there is a villain named Manager Zhang. Unexpectedly

There was also a local manager Zhang who protested. Now I have decided to change Manager Zhang to Manager Hong. From now on, all the bad guys in the plays I write will be named Hong Shen. ”

Because of his humor and flexibility, he saved a good show.

Kwong Xinhua

When the famous Cantonese opera actor Kwong Xinhua was in his 70s, His eyes were dim, but due to his livelihood, he had to perform on stage.

One day, he was playing the role of a general on the stage, and during the battle between the two armies, he unexpectedly failed to see clearly and accidentally shot the gong drummer.

The whole audience burst into laughter and cheered.

Kuang Xinhua realized his mistake and immediately fired his gun and said: "No! The sand and dust are rolling in, killing the wrong people, what should we do? ”