Confucius' Humor

Humor is something that varies from person to person and is difficult to define.

Lin Yutang strongly advocated the writing of humorous prose before his death, and once wrote an essay called Humorous Confucius. There is a sentence in Lin's article that "humor is like this. Naturally, chatting with friends in a quiet room is not posturing at all". Therefore, Confucius's "down-to-earth" and "many reasonable words" are all taken as evidence of humor by him.

Naturally, my understanding of the word "humor" is also different from Lin Yutang's. My standard is simple, that is, fun. What do you mean fun? It's boring to get caught up in concepts. Please look at the examples in The Analects:

Politics: Ziyou asks filial piety. Confucius said, "Today's filial piety means that it can be raised. As for dogs and horses, both can be kept; Disrespect, why not? "

When a disciple asks what filial piety is, most teachers will solemnly tell him that filial piety means obedience, respect, support and so on. In fact, most of the time, Confucius answered his disciples like this. However, this time, I don't know why Confucius didn't do that, but compared animals, dogs and horses to show that it is unfilial to support without respect. Simple truth can be directly explained, but Confucius compared animals. At first glance, it seems very emotional; On second thought, the master may be a little narrow-minded and rhetorical.

Bashu: Wang asked, "What is more attractive to the stove than the Olympic Games?" Confucius said, "Otherwise, God forbid you to ask for anything."

This probably happened when Confucius traveled around the world, and during the period of defending the country, the grandson of Wang Jia Naiwei, a doctor of defending the country. There are many sayings about being attracted by Austria and the kitchen. I quite agree with this sentence: Wang quoted this sentence, in which Austria and Chef refer to the monarch and Nanzi respectively. Wang used argot to spy on Confucius' attitude, perhaps in order to embarrass Confucius and make a fool of himself. The choice between the two will offend people. Confucius directly denied the other party's question, jumped out of the pit of the Olympiad and the stove, and replied: Heaven must not offend. Confucius was right and actually answered Wang's question. Confucius used cleverness to solve embarrassment.

Bashu: When my son enters the ancestral temple, he asks everything. Or: "Who is the son of a man who knows manners? Go into the ancestral hall and ask everything. " Wen Zi said, "This is a gift."

-Confucius liked learning and practicing etiquette since he was a child, and was famous for his familiarity with traditional etiquette. According to common sense, some people assert that he doesn't know etiquette when he enters the ancestral temple, and Confucius' reaction will be tit for tat, blushing and thick neck, and stabbing people in the back. However, Confucius did not do this. He is like a Spanish matador. In the face of the bull that rushed over, he just leaned easily and let the bull jump into the air. Confucius said, "When you enter the ancestral temple, you can ask anything. This is the etiquette. " Four or two times, Confucius won.

Gongye Chang: Confucius said, "If Tao fails, you can float on the sea with a fork. What is the reason from me? " Lutz listened to the music. Confucius said, "You Hao is braver than me and has nothing to learn from."

-Threatening to drift overseas on a raft if his theory is ignored, which contradicts what he usually says, "It's amazing to know what he can't do". After eliciting the joy of Luz, he killed another comeback, saying that Luz was too brave to accept. The road hanging there blushed for a while. Confucius, this is Dou Zidao (the only disciple of Confucius who dares to refute and criticize Teacher Kong).

Gongye Chang: Zi said Zi Gong said, "Which is better?" He said: "If you give it, you dare not look back. I also know a thing or two. " Confucius said, "What a blessing! I am as beautiful as a woman. "

-Confucius is poking fun at Zigong this time. Ask Zi Gong first, who is better than Yan Hui? Facing the teacher's question, Zi Gong can only say that he is not as good as Yan Hui (he is the teacher's most admired classmate), whether out of modesty or courtesy. In this case, someone else's teacher will probably say something like "In fact, you both have your own strengths". However, Confucius, Zigong's teacher, is not like this. He actually "pushed the boat with the current" and said, "I agree, you are not as good as him"! Confucius Zigong, who is famous for his good rhetoric, was firmly trapped in the language trap by Confucius this time!

Gongye Chang: Ji Wenzi thinks twice before you leap. Hearing this, Zi said, "Here we go again, not bad."

-Dr. Ji Lu probably gained a good reputation and gained people's respect by "thinking twice before acting". However, Confucius did not buy it. He played the child in the emperor's new clothes and told the truth: "think twice before you act!" " I talked like a book and fooled all the Lu people! According to Lin Yutang, American writer Carl Van Duolun appreciates this article most and thinks it is a truly natural humor.

Gongye Chang: Confucius said, "What exactly does micro mean? Or ask for help and ask the neighbors for help. "

Everyone thinks that Wei is a straightforward person, but Confucius denied Wei's straightforward and harmless joke with a witness who once borrowed vinegar from his neighbor. The eldest brother Confucius once again played the child of the emperor's new clothes.

Yongye: Zi saw Nanzi, but said nothing. The master said, "If you refuse, God will hate you! Tired of it! "

-The teacher met a woman and the disciple was unhappy. The teacher swore that she had done nothing wrong with her. The scene, the picture, and what you think are all hilarious.

Uncle: Confucius said, "I never knew the above self-discipline."

-it has been said that "no one can be less", and here it is said that as long as a pile of dried meat is sent as tuition (very cheap! ) You can teach him yourself. This is obviously a joke.

"Shuer" was written in Qi Wenshao, and I don't know the taste of meat in March. Yue: "Be happy if you don't want to be happy!"

-I don't know the taste of meat for three months. It is clearly the satisfaction, intoxication and happiness of Confucius after hearing less joy, but every time I read this chapter, I feel that what I am saying here is that Confucius is a heartless person!

Shuer: Please pray for the child's illness. Confucius said, "What are these?" Lutz said to him, "Yes. He said, "Pray to the gods above and below." Confucius said, "I have been praying for a long time."

-Confucius, who said, "If you don't know how to live, you can't know how to die." Theoretically speaking, you shouldn't pray to ghosts and gods when you are sick. As soon as I came up, I seemed to blame Luz for praying for him. Unexpectedly, Confucius honestly admitted that he had been praying silently! What a surprise.

Zi Han: Daxiang party member said, "Great Confucius! Learn without name. " The son listened and said to his younger brother, "What can I do? Hold on, okay? How about shooting? I am under control. "

-Daxiang community residents said that Confucius was learned and not famous, which probably meant ridicule. Confucius certainly tasted the taste. It is a very serious thing that a person's career is denied. But Confucius did not directly refute it, but said, "Do you shoot an arrow or drive a car? I'll open this cynical statement, facing my disciples and comforting myself. Driving refers to erudition, and archery refers to academic specialization.

Zi Han: I am afraid of quantico. He said, "Since King Wen is gone, why isn't Wen here? The day will be lost, and the deceased will not be with Sven; If the sky does not die, what will the people do? "

-This is a person who advocates actively joining the WTO, "knowing that you can't do it" and declaring that "you may die late". In the face of despair, he is broad-minded, resigned and humorous.

Zi Han: Da Zai asked Zi Gong, "What is the relationship between a master and a saint?" ? How many more can there be? Zi Gong said: "The general who consolidates heaven and earth is sacred, but he is also versatile. Hearing this, Zi said, "You know me!" I am cheap, so I can despise. How many gentlemen are there? Not much. "

Because of his versatility, he was praised by others, and his disciples went with the flow and portrayed themselves as saints falling from the sky. In this case, the average person's reaction attitude will be to nod. However, Confucius did not puncture the balloon that Zigong blew round for him: his versatility was not a natural talent, but was forced by a poor family when he was a child and learned the day after tomorrow. This reminds us of a joke: rich people propose marriage, and which young man can swim across the crocodile pond and marry his beautiful daughter. Sure enough, a young man jumped into the pond and swam across the crocodile pond. However, when everyone was admiring the young man's bravery, he got angry and asked, "Who pushed me into the pond?" Who pushed me into the pond? ! "

Zi Han: Confucius said, "Am I wise? Ignorance is also. My husband asked me, and it was empty. I knocked at both ends and I was exhausted. "

-A scholar known for his erudition, a teacher who set up a library to educate students, actually said that he was ignorant and knew nothing about the questions raised by that vulgar plowman. It takes some questions to understand. On the surface, it takes a lot of courage; In fact, Confucius was only confident enough. Zi Gong and Yan Hui, the outstanding disciples, however modest they are, are also dead set on thinking that their teacher is a know-it-all figure. Of course, we might as well think that Confucius just told the truth. A person's knowledge, compared with the vast world, the vast universe, is really insignificant. Those who love themselves are real celebrities, and only great scholars can be modest.

Zi Han: Zi Gong said, "Do you think there are beautiful jade hidden in the coffin? Ask everyone to sell it? " Confucius said, "This thing is for sale! Sell it! I treat Jia Zheye. "

-those who advocate active accession to the WTO are willing to be lonely; The disciples used clever metaphors to persuade him to come out of the mountain. He neither seniority, nor duplicity, arrogance, nor sophistry. On the contrary, he said according to the disciple's metaphor: "sold, sold, I am waiting for a buyer!" " Confucius' naive reaction was a bit unexpected.

Zi Han: "The glory of Tang Di is the opposite. Am I not like you? The room is far away. " Confucius said, "If you didn't think about it, why did you have it?"

-Confucius, who has always attached importance to poetry teaching and admired 300 poems, extended every poem and gave full play to Confucius who expounded the truth of life. This time, when someone quoted a poem, he changed his tune and came up with a sentence that was contrary to the poem: "I didn't start thinking at all, how could it be far away?" Isn't Confucius a little naughty, a little bad and a little spicy?

"Xiangdang": Kang Zi gives medicine and worships it. Yue: "I dare not taste until I reach the mountain."

-people with status and status come to visit their sick self and give medicine. According to common sense, no matter what kind of subtle relationship you usually have, you should go downhill and thank others for their care and gifts. Even if they throw them into the trash can in the blink of an eye, they will insinuate that they will definitely take them away. Confucius did not. He even said, "Kong Qiu doesn't know the nature of drugs, so he dare not taste them." Confucius is so cool!

Township Party: Steady burning. Zi retired from the DPRK and said, "Do you hurt the people?" Don't ask the horse.

-When the stable is on fire, people's instinctive reaction should be "Are there any horses killed or injured?" The informer must also be expecting this routine inquiry from Dakong Sko. Unexpectedly, Confucius refused to submit, but asked if there were any casualties. If you think about it seriously, you might as well guess that Confucius values people over horses (wealth) and take the opportunity to satirize the monarch who values horses over people. However, thinking in a relaxed and happy direction, maybe Confucius just said this sentence on purpose to make the sad messenger happy. Confucius was once a joke.

Advanced: Confucius said, "What is the gate of the hill?" A master has no respect for his son. Confucius said, "I'll go to court from now on, and I won't enter the room."

-Usually he always contradicts the teacher, who criticizes him for his poor drumming skills and his unworthiness to be his own student. Other students disrespected Luz, and the teacher refused, saying, "Luz has not reached the highest level, but it has already begun." The implication is much better than those students who laugh at Luz. Digging a hole for Luz, rescuing Luz from the hole, and pushing other students' languages into the hole, as well as Confucius, can be called ups and downs. If Confucius were alive today, he would be a master of crosstalk creation.

"Advanced": The Ji family is rich in the Duke of Zhou, and it is also beneficial to seek it. Confucius said, "I am not a disciple. The boy beat the drum and attacked it, too. "

-Disciples violate the teacher's teaching of "sharing wealth with the poor" and add icing on the cake to the rich; It is better to feed the poor than to give charcoal in the snow. Theoretically, teachers themselves are harsh and can criticize education. Confucius called on other disciples to drum and besiege. Confucius deliberately played up the atmosphere and entertained education-to be precise, entertaining education.

Advanced: Yu Kuang and Yan. Confucius said, "I regard my daughter as my death." He said, "You are here, why dare you die?"

-life and death are rich, life is painful, and taboos are not enough. When Yan Hui died in the future, Confucius was really devastated. However, Confucius mocked life and death when he was separated occasionally on his way around the world. Disciples who have always been respectful and unsmiling are also unambiguous, not afraid of weakness and taboo, and follow the teacher's dead words. When we left, we said goodbye to each other. Master and apprentice all have black humor.

Wei Linggong: Confucius said, "I have never missed a day's meal or a night's sleep. It's useless to think, it's better to learn. "

-people are iron rice steel, and they can't be hungry for a meal. I don't believe that there is really dementia in this world that doesn't eat, drink or sleep all day and thinks about problems. As clever as Confucius, he won't do it. He said that for one purpose only: for fun. Coax the children.

Yang Huo: Zicheng, listen to the string singing. The master smiled and said, "Why do you want to cut the chicken with an ox knife?" Ziyou said to him, "Mr. Yan has also heard the philosophers say,' A gentleman learns to love others, but a villain learns the Tao easily.' Confucius said, "Two or three sons! Yan's words are right. Foreword, the ear of drama. "

-Always educate your disciples. Rites and music can govern the country and reassure the people. However, when this disciple, a small town official, really did the same thing and put it into action, Confucius laughed at him for cutting chicken with an ox knife. This is one of Confucius' gaffes: his words and deeds are different, or the contradiction between theory and practice. Although Confucius is a bit hypocritical and rude, his straightforward temperament inadvertently revealed is commendable. When the disciple pointed out what the teacher taught, Confucius realized that he had slipped his tongue, and he could give up the basics and follow good advice. This teacher is not square at all.

Yang Huo: The Buddha called and my son wanted to go. Lutz said: "I heard the past masters say,' If you are a bad person, a gentleman will not enter.' The Buddha is on the bank of Zhongmou and the son is going, so what! Confucius said, "Of course. Have something to say Not hard, grinding without phosphorus; Don't put it bluntly, nirvana is not nirvana. Am I a melon? How to tie it without eating? "

-Confucius's words and deeds are different again. But this time, Confucius did not stop at accepting the criticism of his disciples, but muttered to defend himself and express his grievances: "I am not a melon (I said the stars in the sky), I can only hang there and can't eat." Confucius can't stand the loneliness of being abandoned and wants to go out and do something. This image is very clear.

Yang Huo: Confucians are sad to see Confucius, and Confucius talks about illness. Leave home and sing at the expense of others. Make it taste.

-If an unexpected guest visits and doesn't want to see him, let the disciple refuse the guest on the grounds of illness. However, when the guest left, he sang on the drum to let him know clearly that his illness was fake and he didn't want to see him in his heart. Later neo-Confucianists and Taoists tried to dig the deep meaning of Confucius' lying and revealing lies. But in my opinion, there is nothing profound in it, just Kong's childlike innocence, playing tricks on Dr. Lu, who he doesn't like.

Yang Huo: Confucius said, "It's hard to eat all day without a purpose! No players, still virtuous. "

-In the adult world, playing games is usually considered as doing nothing. Speaking of games, most people are guilty. Only Confucius can make the game so confident and open-minded

From the above list, Confucius' fun, that is, humor, mainly stems from his childlike innocence; Confucius' childlike innocence is still alive, so he is not rigid and stubborn, so he can say many things that the adult world can't say or dare to say, and can do many actions that the adult world can't do or dare to do.

There are so many words in The Analects that express Confucius' humor, which must be beyond many people's expectation. Scholars of later generations have no childlike innocence in their own hearts. They don't know that Confucius is a man with childlike innocence. Their eyes and hearts are full of venerable and clay saints, so it is impossible to really understand The Analects!