Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Desperate for a school play. The name probably means past, present and future. It needs to be written in three acts.
Desperate for a school play. The name probably means past, present and future. It needs to be written in three acts.
Moderator: Welcome all students to participate in this issue of "Tell the truth". I'm your old friend Wang Xiaoqiang. In this program, we specially invited two free normal students from the Chinese Department of the College of Liberal Arts. Next, please invite two guests to play! (Music begins)
W: It's free to go to college.
M: Those who have room and board allowance,
Female: I have a full study life.
M: Finding a girlfriend is also free love.
Moderator: Ah, these two college students are really humorous. As soon as they appeared, the atmosphere was boiling. According to the routine of the program, introduce yourself first ~ ~
Woman: I'm a girl from China Normal University.
M: I'm a boy from China Normal University.
H: Most people can tell.
M: Our College of Literature 07.
Woman: His name is Niu Shengli.
M: He is 1.7 meters tall.
Woman: I'm Li Qianqian.
Man: She is a chicken this year.
Lord: She was a chicken that year!
Woman: His nickname is Uncle Niu.
She is called Aunt Li.
Moderator: Well, today we invited an uncle (male: hey) and an aunt (good) to join our program. God, I'm a junior.
W: Don't run on the host as soon as you come up. It's easy for Xiao Qiang to host this program!
Man: I hit him? Look at her.
Woman: What happened to him? It's just that I'm a little sorry
Man: Look at him. He is: a monkey in cheongsam, not beautiful at all; Cerebral thrombosis practice splits, it can't stretch your legs at all; The black blind man went to the South Pole and couldn't find the North at all. Look at his head. It was Pan Changjiang who kissed Zheng. This is out of reach!
Woman: Come on, you can choke to death with a few words, director. Just now, don't play that role again! !
Master: You see, the two students still talk the same way. In fact, I can hear that these two guests are joking. Our program just wants you to communicate with the audience in the simplest language. Have a seat, gentlemen. Today's topic is based on
W: I'll go first. I think contemporary college students should not only learn knowledge from books, but also do a good job in practice. Everything should proceed from reality, and they should also understand other issues. I wrote a poem according to the present excellent situation, "The east wind blows the banner of normal education reform, students are happy, education is free, and the party's policy is Jia Kexi.
What do you worship? I wrote it, too, and I read it. "The spring breeze of reform blew the door, and the people of China were full of energy. Nagata in Haiti is quite annoying, and many people died in the earthquake. thank you
Woman: What are you grateful for when people die?
M: You're welcome.
Host: What talk show is this? You have never participated in our program, and you are not familiar with me! ?
Woman: I know you. Aren't you Wang Xiaoqiang from the women's clothing department?
Man: Aren't you one of the Four Blacks, Zhang Fei and Li Kui jy? You and the mine!
Woman: What are you talking about? Ah, well, he didn't mean that. He said how many great things you have done for our department, from helping poor female students to giving advice, soliciting sponsorship and performing programs for the female department. You have broken your heart, worn your mouth, and your body is almost exhausted!
I'm flattered. All serve the people!
Man: I have also given water to girls! The whole department knows.
Woman: Which girl! Blind white tiger!
Man: That girl is lovelorn. Does he help people fetch water every day?
Woman: They are helping others!
Lord: Stop! ! It's all, it's all small things.
Female: It's important (turning to male).
M: The big event is getting old this year! On the 60th anniversary of the National Day, the intellectual earthquake was destroyed, the National People's Congress was held, and the economy was in line with the world. He was very busy this year ~ ~ ~ and he didn't do it!
Woman: He can't release his spirit!
Man: Yes, when you lose your mind, we are all crazy!
Lord: What's wrong with me? Okay, okay, why are you talking about me? Tell me about you two! I will ask this question more carefully. Are you all graduating soon?
Man and woman: Mm-hmm!
Master: How did you do when you first entered the university, that is, the college entrance examination?
Woman: Me, not bad.
M: I'm not so good. The score is just on the edge, and it's really an unexpected surprise to be here!
Master: Then why did you come to China Normal University?
W: Being a teacher has always been my dream and pursuit. I am full of passion and beautiful vision for the future, and I am determined to be the brightest star in the sun.
M: Yes! But the actual operation is tragic. Orangutans are not as good as monkeys. Especially in the last semester of my freshman year, I changed from a stressful and full high school life to doing nothing all day, as if I had been hit by a "crowbar" of youth and passed by in a flash! Courses have been reduced and free time has soared. I don't know how to use so much time, so I live a drunken life.
Woman: Alas, this is the house-holding type?
H: Then how is it adjusted?
M: Later, through self-awakening and the collective help of the whole class, I clearly realized the facts and drew a clear line with my bad hobbies. I'm "the old lady wears lipstick-I'll give you some color to see see." Listen carefully in class during the day, concentrate on taking notes, hang your head at night and bite the cone. I dug the wall for light, caught more than 200 fireflies during the day and packed plastic bags at night to continue my research!
Lord: It's just a lot of hard work!
Yes, many things happen. What is the bitterness of plum blossoms? She and I won a school-level scholarship!
Lord: plum blossoms come from bitter cold, but this is not what Confucius said! Now let me ask a question that everyone cares about. How to prepare flowers after winning a scholarship for outstanding students?
Man: I have an idea! I think it's okay to make some achievements and earn some money now. The most important thing is the future. After graduation, we are going to teach and realize our self-worth. At that time, I'm going to go back to my hometown first, learn from the village chief, and build a Hope Primary School to completely change the education situation in the village.
W: Their village head is worried about his lifestyle.
M: it's the standard of living, and it also brings out my lifestyle ~
Master: Do you have any specific development plans?
Man: The first step is to push the earth to the village primary school, build a two-story building, build a fence with a height of one foot and two feet around it, and build four watchtowers at the four corners. The militia will guard the whole iron gate day and night with guns, squat down two big German shepherd dogs behind the door, and then customize a big lock of eight and a half pounds to lock the door. Nobody wants to go in and I don't want to come out!
Host: This is Hope Primary School, a bit like a concentration camp!
Woman: Moderator, don't listen to his nonsense. He can run a car with his mouth. In fact, he just went home to teach well and cultivate more talents for his hometown.
Man: Yes, the train driver! I was born in a small mountain village, where my parents lived. When I was a child, I always had a dream. When I grew up, I became a train driver, driving the train to pick up the whole village and go out to see the outside world. Later, I understood that only knowledge can change my own destiny and the destiny of the whole village. In the year of college entrance examination, I was the only one in the village who was admitted to a key university. I decided to choose Guizishan in order to become an excellent people's teacher and return to the village to train more college students who can change their hometown like me!
Lord: Ah ~ ~ Good ~ ~ Then I wish you an early realization of this dream. In fact, every normal student should think carefully about what he can do for others and himself after graduation. Time is like water, life is like a song, and in a blink of an eye, our program will be over. Let's invite two more guests to say a few words from the heart.
Woman: Then I'll speak first! (Music) I really have something to say to you! I am an ordinary student in an ordinary mountain village, and I know such an indisputable fact. I am the daughter of Dashan, and I have always been eager to get ahead and honor my ancestors. "Whenever I think of my parents' painstaking training and education, especially the moment when my parents bid farewell to me in college, my mother said to me," Son, study hard at school! You can rest assured at home, your father and I are looking forward to the day when you will be successful! " Looking at my parents who are getting old because of fatigue, I have nothing to say, only boiling blood and tears in my eyes. Therefore, I have long made up my mind that I must not let them down. As a normal student, only by studying hard now, enriching yourself and laying a solid foundation for future teacher work can we live up to the kindness of our parents and the expectations of the party and the people. Therefore, I advise you from the bottom of my heart that you must cherish these precious four years. As long as you pay, no matter how hard and tired you are, you are still young and have no regrets! Thank you, thank you!
Host: That's good. I believe that the two students will become excellent people's teachers in the future and live up to everyone's expectations. Here, on behalf of all the audience present, I would like to thank the two students again. Does Niu Shengli have anything to say to the students?
Man: Me? Her words basically represent my spirit. I just want to ask ~ ~ ~
H: Is there a problem?
Man: just ... where's the toilet? I've been holding it for a long time.
H: Well, let's talk about this later! Ok, thank you to all the students present today, and thank you to the two guests. This concludes today's program. See you in the next issue of Tell the Truth!
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