Short humorous joke stories for kindergarten

1. Due to the pressure of life, the cat took a seat in the tuberose hair salon owned by the fox. One day, the mouse came to the hair salon and asked for a night stay, but the cat refused to comply. The mouse said angrily: "I was chased to death at first, but now I'm being sent to my door, and I'm still being serious!" 2. The doctor asked the patient how he broke the bone. The patient said, "I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes by holding on to the telephone pole." F*ck, there was a *** who passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two sticks! 3. In the biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Student answer: Let it smell the fart. The one who will cover the nose is the hand, and the others are the feet. The whole class fell down. 4. One person keeps farting loudly at work, and his colleagues can’t help but say: Can you just keep quiet? Then I saw him sitting there shaking. A colleague asked him what he was doing, and he replied: I have set it to vibration now! 5. Someone was riding a bicycle and heard a passerby yelling: go, go, go... I thought, damn, I can also sing: Olai, Olai... Before he finished speaking, he fell into the ditch. A passerby cursed: Damn it! I told you Gou Gou Gou, but you still ride? !Deserved to fall to death! 6. Carp and Turtle went to get their marriage certificate. The clerk asked the turtle his age, and the turtle said: 100. The clerk said regretfully: I'm sorry, but according to your family's rules, you are still underage and are not allowed to get married. 7. A couple came to a wishing well. The husband bent down, made a wish and threw a coin into the well. The wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent over she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was shocked, then smiled and said to himself: "It's so damn clever!" 8. A couple was fishing by the river. The lady was always noisy, and after a while the fish took the bait, and the lady said: This fish is really pitiful. The husband said: Yes, as long as you shut up, it will be fine, right? 9. The science teacher asked: "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered. The teacher asked again: "No one knows?" At this time, someone behind the classroom said: "That's because the mind is naturally cool." 10. The spider loved the ant deeply, but when he expressed his love, he was rejected. The spider yelled: " Why? Why is all this happening? "Ant said timidly: "My mother said that people who stay online all day long are not good people!" 11. Xiaoguang is a diligent and studious student who uses his winter vacation to earn money. tuition fee. During the day, he helped a butcher cut meat, and at night he worked as an intern at the hospital. One night, an old woman had an emergency and needed surgery. Xiaoguang pushed her into the operating room. The old woman shouted in panic: "Oh my god! You are the pig killer, where are you going to push me!" 12. The men's and women's toilets in the school are connected. A girl went to the toilet and forgot to bring toilet paper. When she was embarrassed, the boy next door When toilet paper came from the bathroom, the girl turned pale and asked loudly, "Who?" ". The boy next door replied in a low and powerful voice: "Lei Feng. 13. A person wanted to vomit when he first got on the plane. The flight attendant took an empty bag, and when it was almost full, she went to get another bag, and told "don't vomit". When he came back, he saw it all over the place. When asked why, he replied: "I see it soon." When she was full, she took another sip, and everyone around her vomited..." 14. When a woman is 8 years old, you have to make up stories to coax her to sleep. When she is 18, you have to make up stories to trick her into sleeping with you. When she is 28, she will sleep with you without telling a story. Sleep, at the age of 38 she will make up stories to trick you into sleeping with her, at the age of 48 you have to make up stories not to sleep with her. 15. After Tiger read about the Three Kingdoms, he went to catch wild boars and saw no pigs in the pig den. He touched his beard and said: Empty City Trick! I turned around and saw a dead pig in the animal trap. I was shocked: A bitter meat trap! Suddenly I saw you again. I was overjoyed: Oh, ho, there’s a beauty trap?! 1. One day, a man met a lion. He pretended to be calm and glared at you with terrifying eyes. Lion. Suddenly the lion clasped his hands and knelt down, and the man said proudly: You know how powerful it is! After a while, the lion said quietly: The prayer is over, it’s time to eat. 2. Xiaomao went to kindergarten. One day, the teacher asked: Who knows. How many countries are there in the world? Xiao Mao said: I know! The teacher said: Tell me what countries there are. Xiao Mao said: There are two countries, China and foreign countries! 3. I once went to buy mutton skewers. 4 fingers said to the boss, "Here are three mutton skewers." The boss was confused, "How many?" "I stretched out 3 fingers again and said "4"... 4. The three turtles came to a restaurant and ordered three pieces of cake. As soon as the food was served, they found that they didn't bring any money. The big turtle said: I am the oldest Of course, there is no need to go back to get the money. The middle turtle said: It is best to send the little turtle. The little turtle said: I can go back to get the money, but after I leave, neither of you are allowed to touch my cake! , the little turtle left. Because his belly was empty, the big and medium turtle quickly finished his share of the cake. However, the little turtle disappeared.

On the third day, the big and medium turtles were really hungry, so they all said in unison: "Let's just eat the little turtle's share." Just when they were about to eat, the little turtle's voice came from next door: "If you dare to touch my cake, I won't go back to get the money!" The three little white rabbits picked a mushroom and let the two big ones go. Get some wild vegetables and eat them together. The little one said I won’t go, so you guys ate my mushrooms when I left. The two older ones said they didn’t know how to go, so they went to eat. So the little white rabbit went~~~ Half a year passed. Little White Rabbit The big one hasn’t come back yet. The big one said it’s not coming back. We’re going to eat. The other big one said wait a little longer~~~ A year has passed. The little white rabbit hasn’t come back yet. The two big ones talked about not having to wait. Let’s eat. At this moment, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the jungle next to him and said angrily: Look! I knew you were going to eat my mushrooms. Xiao Fei said: "... Sympathy for the father of the small mountain house told his daughter that when he was a child, his family was poor and he suffered a lot. After listening to the story, my daughter had tears in her eyes... Xiaoshanwujia, an open-minded and studious person: "Our new teacher is really open-minded and studious. "B:" How did you know? "A: "He... The sun is timid and the younger brother in the small mountain house said to his elder brother: "The sun must be afraid of the moon, right?" Brother: "How do you know?" He was fascinated by airplanes. As long as he heard an airplane flying over, he would always run out and watch until... Sympathy for Xiaoshanya Jiajia stood behind the painter who was sketching and watched for a long time, and then asked: "Uncle, you must He must be very poor... The teacher of the kindergarten in the small mountain house of Washing Hands chatted with the children: "Tell me, children, who of you knows why before meals... Looking for vitamins, 4-year-old Vladimir of the small mountain house dug on the tomatoes She stirred the hole with a spoon for a long time and suddenly started crying. ... Marriage Quit Sugar Xiaoshanwu's mother: "The big chimney in this factory is really annoying. It emits black smoke all day long. It chokes me so much that I can't breathe. Xiaohong: ... What happened today? Xiaoshanwu's father: "Anything that can be done today Things that have been completed must not be put off until tomorrow. " Son: "It's too easy... I didn't lose my front teeth. Mother of Little Mountain House: "Jimmy, you got into a fight again. I see you lost two front teeth." Jimmy: "Mom, I didn't... A child came to a house When he was buying a toy airplane in a store, he gave the salesperson a 50-yuan bill. The salesperson said, "Kid, this 50-yuan bill is fake." The kid said, "Is your plane real?" "One day, the deaf man heard the mute say that the blind man had seen a ghost.