In the workplace, these 5 ways of speaking are the most hated

"People who are particularly good at talking talk like this"

This book is written by Ohno Moeko, who has 20 years of experience in corporate psychological consulting. This book ranks No. 1 on Amazon Japan’s bestseller list. Half a year after it went on the market, it sold 260,000 copies. How do you say no to others without hurting your feelings? How do you praise someone to the point? How to avoid reminders turning into criticisms? The "mature words" you want are all in this book.

The problem we focus on solving this time is: "How to say hello in workplace communication without offending others?"

『Greetings』

When greeting, many people often say One sentence, but this sentence is very damaging to interpersonal relationships.

This sentence is: hard work.

You think this sentence expresses concern for the other person, but it has usage requirements.

If you are a superior saying "Thank you for your hard work" to your subordinates, there is no problem.

But if you are speaking from a subordinate to a superior, or to a peer, it will be a mistake.

The author saw a newcomer who had just joined the company say "Thank you for your hard work" to a customer. As a result, he angered the customer and ruined a big order. Sometimes the listeners don't pay too much attention, but some people will be very angry after hearing it and think, "Why did you say that to me?"

So, if you must use this sentence, it is better to add "you" before it, that is, "thank you for your hard work".

The other party will be more accepting.

『Communication』

During the communication process, someone will often say, “It’s not easy.” In order to match the other party’s emotions, someone will often say, “It’s not easy.”

Stand by you From this perspective, you feel that you are taking care of the other person's emotions, but to the narrator's ears, this is just a superficial polite word, which is unpleasant and gives people the feeling that it has nothing to do with him and is hanging high.

This sentence exudes a kind of cheap sympathy.

For example, if someone tells you "I've caught a cold recently" or "I've been very busy at work recently" and you reply "It's not easy", what effect will that have?

Even if you want to comfort the other person, if the other person does not feel that it is difficult for them, they will not be able to accept your words. Or, the other party may feel that you are taking the matter too seriously, which in turn gives people a heavy feeling.

So, how should you respond to this kind of thing?

It’s very simple, just follow what the other person says. "No matter how busy you are, you should take care of your health." "No matter how busy you are, you should take care of your rest."

This kind of warm words actually show care and consideration.

『Greetings』

Some people’s fatigue and tiredness are written on their faces.

But if you see it, just say: "Are you very tired recently?" "You look a little tired!"

Whoever listens will feel the same in their hearts. uncomfortable. What you say is equivalent to pouring cold water on someone. The atmosphere of the conversation instantly cooled down and sank.

If the other person does not feel this way, they will think, "I am obviously in good spirits today, but why do I look so bad? I am fine...", causing the good mood to plummet.

So, even if the other person looks really tired, don't use negative language. Instead, use positive language to greet them. For example: "Long time no see, how are you lately?"

You are an artist of language who guides communication in a positive direction.

"When we meet again"

When you meet someone you haven't seen for a long time, the stupidest opening line is: "Do you still remember me?"

This kind of The way you ask questions will make people feel like the other person is testing you. If you don't remember the answer, it will leave a rude impression on the other party.

Your question seems to be breaking the deadlock, but in fact it is posing a problem for the other party.

A more friendly way to start is: "Hello, I am so-and-so who I met you last time."

It doesn't matter how long it has been since we last met, as long as you want to talk to the other person To build a relationship, you have to take the initiative to speak up and don’t ask tentative questions. This is one of the ironclad rules of human relationships.

『When complimenting』

When colleagues meet, the most common greetings are "you are so thin today", "you are so beautiful today" and "you are so cute today".

It’s no big deal to boast like that.

However, besides being happy, the other party was also a little disappointed inside.

Because your limited time is today.

The other party will think, what about normal times? Didn't I look good before?

So, better greetings are: "You have lost weight again" and "You look beautiful today."

Add "you" and "also" and you make this kind of compliment the norm.

In addition, you also need to pay attention to the adjective "cute".

Using this adjective sometimes makes the other person feel that you are a bit "high and mighty".

Unless you have a superior-subordinate relationship or are very close friends, the other person may feel that they are being looked down upon and feel a little unhappy.

Don’t ignore these details, otherwise, you will be hated by others without even knowing it.

To summarize, workplace expression most tests people’s cognition and thinking. Each sentence has different potential energy, so you have to apply it to different people. Otherwise, if you treat everyone equally, others will treat you equally.