Help me find jokes.

Let's go back. The hospital has a 100 wall to prevent patients from escaping. Two mental patients still want to escape from the hospital. Trying to climb over the wall in the dark. Turn to the thirtieth wall. "Are you tired?" "Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards. Turn under the 60th wall. "Are you tired?" "Not tired." So the two continued to turn outward and turned to the 99 th wall. "Are you tired?" "Tired!" "Well, let's go back." The blind and the lame ride motorcycles together. The blind ride a horse, and the lame watch the road. There was no problem along the way. Turning a corner, the lame man suddenly found a ditch on the road and shouted, "ditch!" " Ditch! Ditch! "Hearing this, the blind man sang:" Ah, ah, ah ... "As a result, the blind man and the lame man fell into the ditch together with their cars. 3. magical side effects at a medical seminar, a physician announced that he had invented a magical new drug. Another doctor asked, "What disease is it used for?" "We have no diseases that can be cured with drugs." Another doctor asked, "where is its magic?" The doctor was silent for a while and said, "Its side effects will make patients lose their short-term memory, so several patients have paid my medical bills three or four times. "All the doctors attending the seminar stood up and applauded warmly. It is delicious. A Hollywood director decided to give his mother a birthday present. He heard that a bird can speak 12 languages and sing 10 famous songs. He immediately decided to buy the bird and give it to his mother. To this end, he spent 50 thousand dollars. The day after his mother's birthday, he called her. " What do you think of this bird? Mom? His mother replied happily, "It's delicious." "Kidnapping: I blindfolded you quietly; Heart disease: you are my chest pain forever; Schadenfreude: the old cat was driven out by its owner and the mouse came out to see him off; Killing with a knife: it's about a robber who is too poor to even have a knife; Generation gap: I just got used to my son's long hair and shaved my head; Apple: its most brilliant moment was hitting Newton on the head; 6. Never talk to a parrot. One night, Cindy came home from work and cooked dinner as usual. However, she found that the sink drain pipe in the kitchen seemed to be blocked, so she called William, the water electrician, hoping that he could come and help repair it. William agreed at once and said that he would go to Cindy's house tomorrow afternoon. Because it was during Cindy's office hours, Cindy told him, "I'll put the key under the doormat and come in yourself." "I have an Akita dog. Very good. You don't have to worry. Besides, I have a parrot, who is a troublesome guy. No matter what it tells you when you come in. Remember! Never talk to a parrot. " Although William was full of doubts, he agreed. The next afternoon, William arrived at Cindy's house on time, entered the door and began to repair the kitchen sink. This dog is very good. He didn't bark or bite him. The parrot kept talking and shouting at him. At first William remembered Cindy's suggestion and ignored it, but the parrot kept calling. After a while, William finally couldn't stand it. He shouted at the parrot, "Shut up! You big stupid bird! " The parrot paused, and William thought his roar had some effect. Then, I only heard the parrot imitate Cindy's voice and say, "Dog! Go bite him! " Then I heard a scream from the kitchen. Seven. There are three mosquitoes demonstrating their flying skills in the mosquito competition. They were so angry that they couldn't tell the winner for a long time that they decided to "show off" each other. The British mosquito attacked for the first time and saw it fly to a frog and turn around it several times. When it came back, it saw the frog's tongue tied a slipknot. He proudly said, "I'll tell you! In my hometown, if you don't have this ability, it will be finished soon! " The American mosquito sneered twice: "Hum! Don't mention it! " So he flew to the two frogs and ran back and forth between them several times. When he came back, the tongues of two frogs formed a fast knot. He said, "Hum! In my hometown, you have to do this to survive! " Chinese mosquitoes disdain to answer, "just kidding! In our hometown, I have never seen such a bad technology! " British and American mosquitoes were unconvinced and said, "What do you think you have?" As a result, mosquitoes in China flew to a group of frogs and shuttled through them several times. When they came back, they saw the frog's tongue pulled together and became a "Chinese knot". 8. warn the world that money is not everything, and sometimes you need a credit card; Everyone should love animals, especially cooked animals; Save water and try to take a bath with your girlfriend; Love your neighbor with your heart, but don't let her husband know; Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two; No matter how happy a bachelor is, he will get married sooner or later. Happiness is not permanent. Smart people are unmarried, and married people are hard to be smart; Success is a relative term, which will bring you many unrelated relatives. Don't wait until tomorrow to make excuses, do it today; Love is like a photo, which needs a lot of darkroom time to cultivate; Children in the back seat will have an accident, and children will be born in the back seat; Your future depends on your dreams now, so go to sleep. There should be a better way to start a new day than waking up every morning; Hard work will not die, but I will not prove it with myself; Work is so interesting, especially watching others work; God decides who your relatives are. Fortunately, he gave you the choice of friends. Two people are unstable, but three people are! Clothing is like barbed wire, which prevents you from acting rashly but does not prevent you from enjoying it; The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. Why do you study? ! Chatting with two prisoners in Tenuto's cell. A asks B, "Are you married?" B: "I was married twice, but both my wives died." A: "How did you die?" B: "The first wife ate poisonous mushrooms." A: "What about the second one?" B: "Died of a broken head." A: "It's terrible. What is this? " B: "She won't eat poisonous mushrooms." 14. In junior high school, a math teacher talked about equation transformation, rolled up his sleeves on the podium and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! 10. A farmer went to a car sales center and saw that he took out 2000 yuan and slapped it on the table: "Give me a Santana." The salesman was surprised: "You don't have enough money." The farmer is puzzled: "Isn't Santana 2000 written outside?" Shop assistant: "oh ... then go out and turn right." That company's Mercedes is only 600 ~ ~! " 7. American soldiers received a reward order from Bush: if an Iraqi soldier is caught, he will get100000 dollars! So Michelle and Yuri began to search near Baghdad. After several days of hard work, they were exhausted and fell asleep on the ground. When Michelle woke up, she found that they were surrounded by more than 500 armed Saddam Republican Guards. He quickly woke Yuri up and shouted, "Get up, we are rich!" " A warship is sailing at sea. One night, a sailor suddenly noticed a little light in the distance. He immediately reported to the captain, "tell the captain that there is a ship coming towards us not far away." If we don't change our course, we will hit it! " Hearing this, the captain immediately shouted "Whoo! This is the captain, please move your ship and channel to the east immediately 10 degrees! The other party replied: "Hoo hoo! Please move west 10 degrees! Captain: I am a warship. Don't you dare ask me to move! " The other party immediately said, "Take the exam! I am a lighthouse. Why don't you fight if you can? There is a madhouse. One day, the dean wanted to see how many people had recovered. Ask the nurse to draw a door on the wall. I saw all the patients crashing into the wall crazily. The dean was disappointed. Suddenly he saw that only one patient was indifferent. The dean was very happy and ran to ask him, "don't you want to go out with them?" The patient replied, "these idiots, I have the key here!" 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