Super funny joke

Super hilarious joke: (1) One day, a barber hit a Sugar-Coated Berry seller and went to the police station to ask the barber: Why did you hit Sugar-Coated Berry? The barber said, * * *, I was in the house perm my hair, and he shouted outside? Is it burnt? ? (2) A village head drank too much and went home by mistake in the pigsty, lying beside the sow and saying, Wife: Give me a glass of water, and the sow snorted. The village chief said, if you don't fall, you won't fall, and you won't scatter. Feel casually and say: buy leather clothes, or double-breasted ones. ? (3) When the old couple went to take pictures, the photographer asked: Do you want to measure light, backlight or full light? Grandpa said shyly: I don't care. Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? ? (4) A person is constipated when he goes to the toilet, and suddenly he sees a person rushing in, and suddenly it is stormy. Dude, I really envy you, so soon. ? What do you envy? I haven't had time to take off my pants yet! ? ? (5) When a foreigner was playing in Laiwu, he met an old lady teasing the cat and asked: What are you doing? The old lady replied: ancient cat! Foreigners are frightened, even the old people can speak foreign languages! Give it chocolate, and the old lady thinks it's dried sweet potatoes and says, I have it in Laiwu! Foreigners are dizzy! ? (6) The butterfly said to the bee: You are so stingy. You pretend to be full of sweet words, but you won't give me a word. The bee said: Hum! Still talking about me, why didn't you text me with two antennas on your head? ? (7) {Peer} dung beetles is in love with mosquitoes. dung beetles: What is your occupation? Mosquito:? Nurse, an injection. What about you? The dung beetle smiled. Fate, peer, I am a Chinese medicine pill. ? ? Husband: What time is it? Wife: Ten o'clock. Husband: Is it sharp? Wife: It's too early. No one else is sleeping! I mean, ten o'clock sharp? Wife: Eleven o'clock sharp. ? (9) The young couple fought and threw pillows downstairs. A beggar happened to pass by and was very happy. Then he flew away from the quilt. The beggar was ecstatic and cried upstairs with tears: Eldest brother, please throw that woman down. ? Wife: Do you want to exercise in the evening? Husband: I've been thinking, wife: Then don't say you're tired from work, but you can't fool around at night. Husband: Of course, wife: I washed all my clothes that night. ? (1 1) A young woman took out the garbage, accidentally slipped in the garbage and was about to get up. She was held in her arms by an old rag-picker. The old man said with emotion: city people just can't live. Can such a good daughter-in-law say no? (12) A big toe suddenly turned green. The doctor diagnosed it as cancer and removed it. A few days later, his second toe turned green. After taking it out, three days later, his soles turned green and he had to be transferred to a big hospital. The final expert consultation diagnosis is: socks fade. ? A farmer drove a donkey into the city, and the donkey ran a red light and was fined 10 yuan. Old farmers drink donkeys:? You think you are a military vehicle! Dare to run a red light. ? After a few steps, the donkey knocked down a fruit stall and lost 200 yuan. The old farmer is even more angry: Do you think you are an industrial and commercial city manager? You can lift whoever you want. ? The old farmer led the donkey home and passed a meadow. The donkey chewed the grass and was punished in 30 yuan. The old farmer was so angry that he scolded: Do you think you are an inspection team going to the countryside? You can eat anywhere! ? After the old farmer scolded him, he took the donkey to the river to drink water, but the donkey was stubborn and refused to drink. The old farmer got angry: you think you are a rich man. You can't drink without a lady. ? The donkey turned and ran, drying a fishing net on the shore, and the donkey broke it. Fishermen claim compensation from 500 yuan. The old farmer's eyes are full of tears? Do you think this is China Telecom? It costs so much money to surf the internet. ? The donkey turned and kicked the old farmer. The old farmer scolded helplessly: Do you think you are the owner of the group? Kick whoever you want. ? The donkey was very angry. He ignored the old farmer and became very silent. The old farmer said:? You think this is a QQ group, you can stop talking all day! ? One morning, Xiao Wang said to his wife. Dear, let's fly away from this small place and go to the big city to feel the prosperity there, shall we? Hearing this, Xiao Wang's wife went up and slapped her. What's the matter, you can't even speak when you wake up? Xiao Wang looked helpless and said, wife, we don't make money in this small place. Let's go to work in a big city! ?

? Classic super joke:? 1, I went to the company to go to the toilet early this morning, and the latch of the toilet door was broken, so I went to pull the toilet door. At this time, a very anxious buddy came over and pulled my door directly. Yes, I'm trying. He just pulled Lao Tzu out and lay in the trough, and I started fighting with him before I wiped my ass? 2. In senior three, the chemistry teacher taught us organic chemistry. The teacher drew one on the blackboard first? Peptide bond? And say to us:? This is a eunuch, so give it a methyl group! Students, where did you say you would put it? At this time, the audience has been laughing crazy. ? 3. Jordan: Build the motherland and serve the country faithfully. Nepal: The motherland is more precious than the sky. Myanmar: A harmonious and orderly life contains happiness. France: freedom, equality and fraternity. Holland: We must insist on wishing Belgium: Unity is strength. Andorra: If people don't attack me, I won't attack. Switzerland: Everything is for everyone, everyone is one person. China China People's Bank. ? The purpose of learning from the scriptures is by no means to learn from them. In fact, the true identity of the four people headed by Tang Priest is the rectification dispatch group. Last time, the Bodhisattva Immortal obviously indulged his subordinates in evil, but because of each other's face, they couldn't do it. That's why we found four people with no foundation at the two sessions of God and Buddha to clean up all kinds of monsters in the name of learning from the scriptures. This is also a good explanation. Some of them were taken away by the gods backstage, but no one was killed backstage. ? Someone found a job in a dairy farm. On the first day of work, the boss gave him a bucket and a stool to milk in the milk shed, and he died happily. When he got off work, the boss saw that he was splashed with milk and his stool leg was broken, so he asked him: What happened? Is it difficult? ? He answered with a sad face:? It is not difficult to milk, but it is difficult to let the cow sit on the stool. ? ? 6, to be a cat in the next life: always favored, elegant posture, and importantly, have nine lives. ? 7. If you don't catch the bus at work, you run after it. A man riding an electric car shouted by the bus. Come on! ? I suddenly felt a warm current in my heart. I just want to feel the beauty of this world, and then the man shouted: Come on, master, don't let this force behind you catch up! ? 8, the same beauty: others have a background, we only have a back; Others are traveling and we are sleepwalking; Others drink Lafite, we make coffee; Others have money, we pick up love rat; Others drive Mercedes, we drive VIOS ...? 9. Wukong: The most painful thing in life is that a gust of wind blows, pigs are here, horses are here, and people are gone! The most painful thing is that another idiot will shout at the top of his voice: big brother! The master was taken away by the devil! To prove your existence, and then stay in a daze. ? 10, people nowadays are really nosy! My girlfriend and I quarreled on the phone. What does it have to do with him? He doesn't know my girlfriend. To make matters worse, he called security! What a nuisance! I will never come to this cinema again. ? 1 1, a little buddy who has been practicing Sanda for three years, thinks I am tall and burly and insists on practicing with me. In less than two minutes, I knocked him down and beat him up. He stood up and said sadly, I practiced Sanda for three years, but you beat me to the ground. It's really a waste of practice. . . Have I practiced radio gymnastics for 9 years? Let me tell you! Hum, people with real kung fu are so low-key? 12, when my wife went to the toilet in the morning, she suddenly shouted and I rushed over. She said that she left her cell phone in the toilet. Can you help her buy an iphone6 tomorrow? No, I said that Nima underestimated my IQ and dropped my mobile phone in the toilet. Then why does Nima still have the SIM card in her hand! ? 13. Just now, a car in front of me suddenly braked and stopped in the middle of the road, with various horns behind it. At this time, a hand stretched out from the window and waved a torn steering wheel. Everyone is quiet. ? 14. When I was a sophomore, I went to my classmate's house and saw his sister-in-law nursing the baby. Out of politeness, she went up to touch the child's face and said, the baby is really good, fat in vain, really beautiful! His sister-in-law blushed and whispered that the child was asleep and his face was over there! ? 15. After colleagues get married and the bride finally gives the bouquet to the bridesmaid, the emcee asks the bridesmaid to dance or sing. The bridesmaid said it was inconvenient to dance in skirts and high heels today, and then she heard the audience shout: Then do a handstand! So the audience was quiet for a second, and then burst into laughter. . ?