Chinese jokes. Help, it's urgent ~ ~

The newly appointed magistrate of a county is from Shandong. Because he has to pay the bill, he said to the master, "You

buy me two bamboo poles."

touts recognized the "bamboo pole" of Shandong dialect as "pig liver", and quickly agreed, and ran

to the butcher's shop and said to the shopkeeper, "The new county grandfather wants to buy two pig livers, so you are a wise man.

You should know better!"

The shopkeeper is a clever man. He immediately cut off two pig livers and gave away a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and this pig ear is mine ..." So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back at the county government, I reported to the magistrate

, "Report back, Grandfather, I bought the pig liver!"

When the magistrate saw that the master bought pig liver, he was angry and said, "Where are your ears!"

Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and hurriedly replied:

"Ear … ear … here … in my … pocket!"

once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his family's fields, but it was not enough to pay the rent.

He had to give him a chicken first.

there was a tenant named Zhang San, who went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and shared the land in the following year.

When he went, he put a chicken in a bag and paid the rent. He told the landlord about the next year's tenancy of the field. He insisted that his hands were empty, so he said with his eyes open, "There are no three kinds of fields."

Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. Di Dianzi

killed the chicken and immediately changed his tune and said, "Who will I give it to if I don't give it to Zhang San?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have become so fast!"

The landlord replied, "Just now, that sentence was' nonsense (chicken)', and now this sentence is' made by seeing the machine (chicken)'."

There is an opportunity

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to fly before

and sent a telegram to the manager for fear that he would not agree to the reimbursement: "There is an opportunity, take

no?" When the manager received the telegram, he thought it was the "opportunity" to close the deal, and immediately called back: "Take it if you can."

when the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager refused to reimburse the air ticket expenses because he was not qualified enough to take the plane

. The salesman took out the manager's telegram, and the manager was dumbfounded.

About place names

On New Year's Eve, my younger brother brought two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One was cheerful and the other was more formal than

.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then he raised his glass to propose a toast to everyone, raised his head and drank

, and then said, "I'm from Yangon."

The headmaster got angry

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious with the inefficiency of personnel administration

. He said: "Those who are in charge of directors' business are not sensible; Being unconscious in charge of personnel management;

those who are officials are not officials! "