Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Historical figures ramble about self-righteous, stingy and narrow-minded men.

Historical figures ramble about self-righteous, stingy and narrow-minded men.

1. Li Meiting in Fortress Besieged,

2. A penny by Xu Fuzhuo, the miser Lu Zhi

3. In Zhuangzi's fable, he was in charge of the river,

4. Yan Jiansheng in The Scholars

5. During the Three Kingdoms period, Cao Hong was the cousin of Cao Cao, who gave his life to save Cao Cao several times. With Cao Cao's expeditions to the north, he repeatedly made meritorious military expeditions, and was worshipped as a general of all guards. After xelloss proclaimed himself emperor, he appointed Cao Hong as the general of Wei, then promoted to the title of generals in ancient times, sealed the wild princes, and then turned to seal the duyanghou. When Cao Cao was a commonplace, he personally took the lead in transferring every month to the county, and Cao Hong's money was not as good as Cao Cao's. According to Wei Lue, Cao Hong is the first richest man among Cao Cao's men. But Cao Hong was mean and mean, and almost died for it.

The thing is this: When Cao Pi, the Emperor of Wei Wen, was still a prince, he once borrowed a hundred silks from Cao Hong. Cao Hong feel dreary exercise, every excuse is not willing to borrow, the result annoyed xelloss. After Cao Pi, who had always held a grudge, acceded to the throne, he found a way to put the uncle down to prison and prepare to execute him. Later, thanks to the intercession of Empress Bian, Cao Hongcai was spared from death, but was punished by cutting his official position and reducing his title.

6. Wang Rong. There is a special chapter in the famous Shi Shuo Xin Yu, which is about "frugality", and there are nine stories in it. Four of them are about Wang Rong, a famous official to Stuart.

7. Zhou Zha. During the Eastern Jin Dynasty, Zhou Za, a right general, was a five-member marquis, occupying an important position. The development of Zhou's power was suspected by the powerful Wang Dun. So, Wang Dun quietly joined forces with Shen Shi cremation of Jiangnan to crusade against Zhou Zagreb. When Zhou Zagreb got the news, it was Enemy at the Gates, and he was ready to lead hundreds of his men out of the city to meet them in a hurry.

In Zhou Za's warehouse, there are a number of well-made weapons, and all his men advised him to take them out quickly to equip soldiers. What makes people laugh and cry is that Zhou Za could not bear to part with them, so he distributed inferior weapons to soldiers. Seeing that Zhou Zagreb was still so stingy at the critical moment of life and death, the foot soldiers did not have the determination to work for him. As a result, Zhou Zagreb was defeated under the impact of the enemy and was killed.

Zhou Za, who died because of his meanness, is the father of Zhou Chu, a well-known man in history. He is the third son of Zhou Chu.

8. Xiao Ji. Xiao Ji, the king of Wuling in the Northern and Southern Dynasties, was the eighth son of Liang Wudi. He was seldom favored by his father. He wanted to get wind, rain and rain. It was supposed that money should not be taken as one thing, but he was extremely stingy, and he had to calculate every penny.

Xiao Ji is quite skillful in martial arts. He was able to dominate Ningzhou and Yuejuan in the south, Ziling and Tuguhun in the west, and advised farmers and mulberry in the interior and merchants in the outside. He was rich in money and equipment, but because of this stingy little fault, he finally became "but before he could conquer, he was dead".

In history, Xiao Ji once led an army to attack Jiangling. He melted gold into cakes, loaded more than 1 baskets with 1 gold cakes, and hung them high. The silver was five or six times as much as gold, and there were countless kinds of silks and satins, so as to encourage soldiers to kill the enemy heroically. However, this miser just feasted everyone's eyes and never rewarded them for their merits at the end of each war. The morale of the army was in chaos. Nine times out of ten, the defectors fell in 14 cities on both sides of the strait in a very short time. Xiao Ji's soldiers were defeated like a mountain, and he himself died in the disorderly army.

8. Yuan Zong Kui. Ming Xie Zhaozhe's "Five Miscellanies" records: In the Tang Dynasty, there was a Yuan Zong Kui whose official was Guo Zhou Sima. A maid in his family died, so he ordered the housekeeper on duty to say, "My old maid is dead. She has been at my house for years, so she should find a coffin for her funeral." I'm new here, and my family is so poor that I can't afford a new coffin, as long as I can buy something that works. You don't have to say that my family wants to buy it, just say that your family wants to buy it. " The housekeeper went out to tell everyone about Yuan Zong Kui's remarks. People in a state laughed at this Sima for being too stingy, and all took his remarks as a joke after dinner.

It is also recorded in the New Tale of the Tang Dynasty: in the Tang Dynasty, Kui was the Sima of Guozhou, and a maid died. The punishment was straight: "The old maid of Kui's family died, and she drove for a long time to find a coffin to bury it. When Kui first arrived at home and was poor, he couldn't buy a new one, but once he used it, he got it. You don't have to buy it, Yunjun's family has its own needs. " Straight out of the door, a state thinks it's ammunition.

1. Zheng Renkai. According to the records in the Ruling and Opposition, Ren Kai was the secretariat of Mizhou, and a little slave told him to wear it. Kai said, "Weng manages shoes for you." For a while, the doorman arrived with new shoes, and there were some in the tree in front of the hall. (Woodpecker) Here, the widow went up the tree to get her son. Menfu took off his shoes, and Kailing slave left with his shoes on. The menfu is even a disciple. Kay has virtue.

Zheng Renkai, the secretariat of Mizhou, really loves money and is very funny. A page in his home begged him to buy a pair of shoes. Zheng Renkai said, "It's easy to handle. I'll find a pair of shoes for you." Soon, the doorman came in wearing shoes, and Zheng Renkai deliberately ordered the doorman to climb the tree to dig out the bird's nest. When the doorman took off his shoes and climbed up the tree, Zheng Renkai secretly let the page wear the doorman's shoes. When the doorman got off the tree, he searched everywhere for his shoes and had to go barefoot. Zheng Renkai was very proud of this.

11. Wei Zhuang. Wei Zhuang, a great poet in the Five Dynasties, was famous all over the world. And his meanness is as famous as his words. Every time Wei Zhuang cooks, how many meters she drops has a fixed weight; The firewood for cooking should also be weighed in advance; If he eats barbecue, he will know even if one piece is missing. Wei Zhuang had a son who died at the age of eight. When he was buried, his wife put on the clothes for the child before his death, but Wei Zhuang peeled them off and buried them with the old straw mat where the child used to sleep. And after the burial, Wei Zhuang also brought the straw mat back ...

Eight is Zhang Yun. In the post-Han period of the Five Dynasties, Zhang Yun, assistant minister of the official department, was also famous for his meanness. Even his wife, Zhang Yun won't give her a penny more. He was afraid that his wife would steal his money, so he pinned all kinds of keys to his waist and started to tinkle. At first glance, he sounded like a woman with a lot of earrings and jewelry hanging on her body. After the mutiny in Guo Wei, Zhang Yun narrowly escaped his life by hiding in a ruined temple, but let the soldiers rob him of all his keys. When he got home, he had already been robbed, and Zhang Yun's heart ached. Wow, blood gushed, and in less than half a day, he died.

12. Li Yue. Song Yuan-liang and Chen Yuan-liang recorded in Shi Lin Guang Ji that Li Yue belonged to the Ming Dynasty and was appointed as the magistrate of Shangcai County in Cai Zhou. Li Yue's temperament is very stingy, and it's hard to understand how to do things. Their family seldom eats meat all the year round. Every time they worship their ancestors on the eighth day of the twelfth lunar month, they send purchasing staff to the meat store to borrow a catty of cooked meat and put it in a basin, and then use a few plates to hold money and write a few words, so as to worship their ancestors. And prayed: "the wine was bought with the money I used as an official, which is pure and lovely;" I borrowed the meat from the butcher shop, and it tastes delicious. Because things are too busy to buy fruit, use money as fruit. " After the sacrifice, he greeted the purchaser with meat and said, "Go back to the meat shop quickly." People laughed at him for being too stingy.

13. Tang Bin. During the reign of Kangxi in Qing Dynasty, Tang Bin, the governor of Jiangning, was honored as a "famous official of Neo-Confucianism" and was a representative figure of Cheng Zhu School at that time. Tang Bin was famous for his hard life, and he was very famous for his meanness.

according to the relevant literature, the old gentleman had a whim one day, looked at the account book at home and found an egg on it. He suddenly became furious: "I have never eaten an egg since I came to Suzhou. Who bought it?" The servant replied that it was a son. He summoned his son, knelt down in court and scolded, "Do you think that the price of eggs in Suzhou is the same as that in Henan? If you want to eat eggs, go back to your hometown in Henan ... "