30 hilarious jokes that will make you laugh out loud

1. The men’s and women’s toilets in the school are connected. A girl went to the toilet and forgot to bring toilet paper. When she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl's face turned pale and she asked loudly, "Who?" The boy next door answered in a low and powerful voice: "Lei Feng."

2. The doctor asked the patient how he broke the bone. The patient said, "I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes by holding on to the telephone pole." Damn, a bastard passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two sticks!

3. In the biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Student answer: Let it smell the fart. The one who will cover the nose is the hand, and the others are the feet. The whole class fell down.

4. One person kept farting loudly at work, and his colleagues couldn’t help but say: Can you not make any noise? Then I saw him sitting there shaking. A colleague asked him what he was doing, and he replied: I have set it to vibrate now

5. Someone was riding a bicycle and heard a passerby yelling: go, go, go... I thought, damn me He can also sing: Olai, Olai, oh... before he finished speaking, he fell into the ditch. A passerby cursed: Damn it! I told you Gou Gou Gou, but you still ride? !Deserved to fall to death!;

6. Carp and Turtle went to get their marriage certificate. The clerk asked the turtle his age, and the turtle said: 100. The clerk said regretfully: I'm sorry, but according to your family's rules, you are still underage and are not allowed to get married.

7. A couple came to a wishing well. The husband bent down, made a wish and threw a coin into the well. The wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent over she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was shocked, and then said to himself with a smile: "It's so damn clever!" -

8. A couple was fishing by the river. The lady was always noisy, and after a while the fish took the bait, and the lady said: This fish is really pitiful. The husband said: Yes, as long as you shut up, it will be fine, right?

9. The science teacher asked: "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered. The teacher asked again: "Does no one know?" At this time, someone behind the classroom said: "That's because the mind is naturally cool when you are calm."

10. The spider loved the ant deeply, but when he expressed his love, he was attacked Rejected, the spider yelled: "Why? Why is all this happening?" Ant timidly said: "My mother said, those who stay online all day long are not good people!"

11. What did the head teacher say to him that year? We said: "Actually, I don't object to you falling in love, but you just remember to find someone who is responsible. Those who let go of your hand as soon as they see the teacher, what's the use?" From then on, there was no puppy love in our class!

12. Playing games while holding a hot charging mobile phone, regardless of life and death, this is a rare heroic moment in my life.

13. When life doesn’t go your way, don’t panic. Look at your wallet and savings and just cry.

14. One day I went to my mother's room to play and accidentally found a birth diary about me. I opened it and saw eight words written on it: "It's so ugly that it's hard to accept."

15. The daily status of a foodie: I enjoy it in my mouth but want to lose weight in my heart.

16. Why do you need to remind me that "money is not everything"? I'm not that greedy. I just want money, I don't expect it to be everything.

17. My mother looked at the beautiful daughter of a relative and said to me: Her face looks like someone who has done it, but your face looks like someone who has sat on it!

18. On the way home, I saw many takeaway guys running around delivering food. I suddenly felt very inspired. Others were still delivering food so late, so what reason did I have not to eat?

19. How fragile is the relationship between my boyfriend and I? As long as I take off my makeup, he may never want to see me again in his life.

20. Why do you always kneel down on one knee when proposing marriage? God replied: Kneel down on your knees to visit the grave.

21. I went from having nothing to having assets of over 100 million, from living in poverty to having luxury cars and villas. I didn’t rely on anyone else to do this, but all on my own, bit by bit, I figured it out.

22. If you can only choose one person and food you like, how do you choose a foodie? Foodie: Eat the person you like.

23. Why do you need to remind me that "money is not everything"? I'm not that greedy. I just want money, I don't expect it to be everything.

24. Don’t always compare yourself with others. You envy others for being thin, and others envy you for having a good stomach. You envy others for being rich, and others envy that no one wants to borrow money from you.

25. After taking the English listening test, I realized a truth: some words should only be spoken to those who understand them.

26. You can tell your girlfriend’s personality through her palm prints. If her palm prints often appear on your face, it means she has a irritable personality.

27. My wife is a very reasonable person. Every time she hits me, she will ask for my consent. If I say I don’t agree, she will hit me until I agree.

28. People who love to laugh will not have bad luck. To be honest, if a person is unlucky, I don't know how he can laugh.

29. If the whole world doesn’t want you anymore, remember to come to me. I know several human traffickers.

30. When I hate someone, if that person suddenly says they like me, then I don’t hate them at all. He is so principled that he cannot hate a discerning person.