Urgent, 5 jokes

1. The tortoise is hurt, so let the snail buy medicine. Two hours later, the snail didn't come back. The tortoise scolded, "I won't fucking come back, I'm going to die!" " At this time, a voice came from outside the door: "Shit, I won't go again!" "

2. A puppy climbed onto the dining table and rubbed against a roast chicken. The shopkeeper was furious and said, I will do whatever you dare to do to that roast chicken. The dog licked the chicken's ass. The master fainted. The puppy said happily, look who's good!