Old and new jokes

Get up in the morning and brush your teeth with Colgate cancer-causing toothpaste, give your son a bottle of Nestle milk powder with iodine exceeding the standard, then drink a cup of expired bright milk, eat steamed bread made of flour exceeding the standard, and pick up mustard tuber in the smelly pool. Get ready to take the bus. There are so many people on the bus. The mobile phone was not put away, and it was accidentally "borrowed" by a Xinjiang boy. At noon, I went to KFC with my colleagues to eat Sudan red fried chicken. In the afternoon, I called my wife and asked her to go to the newly opened restaurant to eat the dishes fried in waste oil. Among them, there is a plate of spicy shredded eel urged by birth control pills, a beef poison fan and two Sichuan Ziyang pork buns. The boss served a cup of Biluochun tea with heavy metal exceeding the standard 100 times, and then drank some beer containing formaldehyde. In the evening, the nanny called and told me not to forget to make white wax oil bibimbap, make a Jinhua ham dish soaked with dichlorvos, give children milk powder made in Fuyang, and give adults a few cups of saccharin water mixed with tremella bird's nest made in Jinhua ... If she can get out of the mine safely, she must bring high-quality paper shoes made in Wenzhou to the whole family. Finally, don't forget to buy a welfare lottery ticket in Xi 'an.

Hey, this little life is called happiness!

My wife went out to collect debts and returned empty-handed a few months later.

The husband said angrily, "You are really incompetent!"

The wife said disapprovingly, "although I didn't get the money, the boss's child was taken hostage by me!" " "

The husband was overjoyed and asked, "Where are you?"

The wife patted her belly and said, "It's locked inside!"

Joke: Drunkard chats.

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Two Irish people are sitting in a bar drinking. One of them asked the other, "Where are you from?"

The other replied, "I am here now, Dublin, but I was born in Cork."

"Are you kidding? I was born in Cork and now I'm in Dublin ... Let's have another drink! Where were you born in Cork? "

The other replied, "I was born in my mother's house, and there is a small river flowing south from Sac village in front of my door."

"God bless." The first man shouted, "Can you believe it? I was born in my mother's house, not far from sacks village. For our intimacy, come, let's have another drink. Then which school do you go to? "

"I go to the suffering school in the town," another replied. At this time, the first person was too excited to help himself. He shouted, "God, this is incredible. I also went to that school. The world is really too small. Boss, give each of us another drink. "

At this moment, the phone in the bar rang, and the boss answered the phone: "Crane bar … Oh, there is nothing new tonight, except that the O 'Hara twins drank too much again. "

Joke: Your mother's money hasn't been sent yet.

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A young man is shopping in the supermarket. Suddenly an old lady came up to him and said sadly, "young man, you are too much like my son who just died." I really miss him. Can you call me:' goodbye, mom!' "

The young man felt sorry for the old lady and shouted, "goodbye, mom!" " "

"Hey, bye, kid!" The old lady said loudly and left.

The young man was about to leave when he bought something. The clerk stopped him: "Sir, your mother's money has not been paid yet!" " "

Joke: Who was born?

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Baby: Mom, I want to go out to play. It's so boring at home!

Mom: No, I'm too busy!

The baby pretended to be wronged and said, I don't think I was born by my mother!

Mom: Who do you think gave birth to it?

Baby: I was born by my father. Dad, please take me out to play!

This article comes from:

China Humor King (

www.haha365.com

)

Detailed source reference:

/er_joke/54348.htm