Please tell your girlfriend as many hilarious jokes as possible.

Wolf cubs are born vegetarian. Mother wolf and father wolf racked their brains to train wolf cubs to hunt. Finally, Sirius's parents were happy to see their son chasing rabbits. The wolf cub grabbed the rabbit's fierce face and said, boy! Hand over the carrots!

The male turtle and the female turtle are touching each other on the beach. Next year, the male turtle will come to the beach early, and the female turtle is already waiting there. I didn't expect the mother turtle to see the male turtle swearing: "I have been here for a year without turning me over!" "

A village woman was walking in the forest with a basket of eggs on her shoulder. ..... Suddenly, a big guy came out to flirt with her. Wait for the big man to leave.

The village woman stood up and patted the dirt on her body. ............... said, What's the big deal ... I thought the egg snatcher was coming ~ ~! ~

9. 1 1 The black box on the plane was found. At the last 10 second of the plane crash, someone said, "There is a beautiful woman in front, drive closer."

Two frogs fell in love. After they got married, they gave birth to a clam. When the male frog saw this, he was furious and said, bitch, what's the matter? Mother frog cried and said, Dad, I had plastic surgery before I met you.

One day, three brothers were walking in the park. They saw something in the middle of the road.

"It looks like poop!" Big brother said, "I'd better check." He bent down and took a deep breath. "Smells like poop!" He said.

The second brother stepped forward and put his finger in and touched it. "It feels like poop." He said.

The younger brother poked his finger and put it in his mouth and said, "It smells like poop, too."

The three brothers finally breathed a sigh of relief and said, "It's a good thing we didn't step on it!"

A driver is driving a truck full of hens, teasing his parrot while driving. When a beautiful woman hitchhiked, the driver put the parrot and the hen together in the cargo box and invited the beautiful woman to sit in the cab. After driving for a while, the driver tentatively asked the beauty, "May I kiss you?" The beauty shook her head shyly and said, "No". After waiting for a while, the driver reluctantly asked, "Can you hug me?" The beauty still shook her head and said, "No."The driver said angrily, "If you can't, go down." After driving for a while, the driver felt that his behavior was very ungentlemanly, so he went back and invited the beautiful woman to get on the bus. But after a while, the driver asked, "May I kiss you?" Beauty still shook her head. "Can I have a hug?" Beauty still shook her head. "If you can't, go down." This was repeated three times, and finally I got to the chicken farm. The driver opened the suitcase and found that there were few hens in Miu Miu. Only the parrot mentioned a hen and asked, "Can a beautiful woman kiss me?" The hen shook her head desperately, and the parrot asked, "Can you hug me?" The hen still shook her head. The parrot said, "If you can't, go down." The hen was thrown out of the car. ......

Pig Bajie was making out with Chang 'e on the moon when suddenly a dark shadow passed by and Pig Bajie hurriedly carried a rake.

After chasing him out, he came back after a while and said, damn it, Yang Liwei. ......

Four young nuns begged the priest for a weekend off on Friday. It took them a long time to convince the priest, but the priest asked them to tell him honestly how they spent their weekend holiday on Monday morning. On Monday morning, four nuns came back and reported to the priest in turn. The first nun said to the priest, "Father, forgive me, I have sinned ..." "What did you do?" The priest asked. The first nun replied, "I watched a third-rate movie." The priest looked up at the sky and thought for a few seconds. He said, "Well, I forgive you. Go and drink some holy water! " "After the first nun left, the priest found the fourth nun sipping her mouth and secretly laughing. It's the second nun's turn. She said to the priest, "Father, forgive me, I have sinned ..." The priest said, "Well, tell me what happened? The second nun said, "I stole my brother's car last night and ran over a dog." The priest looked up at the sky again, thought for nearly a minute, and said, "I forgive you." Go and have some holy water. "When the second nun left, the fourth nun laughed louder. Then it was the third nun's turn to report: "Father, forgive me, I have sinned ..." The priest said, "Well, tell me what you did? "The third nun said," I streaked in the street last night ... "The priest looked up at the sky again, thought for nearly five minutes, and said," God forgives you. Go and have some holy water. " After the third nun left, the fourth nun fell to the ground laughing and even burst into tears ... The priest had no choice but to ask the fourth nun: "Well, now you should tell me what happened this weekend to make you laugh like this, right?" She fought back a smile and replied, "Last night, I peed in holy water." ..."

One night, when a young woman passed a mental hospital, there was a sudden "wow" behind her. The woman turned her head and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman began to run in fear, and the man behind her followed. No, there's a dead end ahead. The woman, desperate, knelt on the ground and cried and begged, "Whatever, but please don't kill me." The man smiled cunningly and said, "Really? So now you're chasing me.

The prisoner was shot. The first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullet, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, eldest brother, you strangled me! It's fucking horrible. .....

A pupil confessed to his long-cherished teacher. The teacher said it was wrong, but he wouldn't listen. Finally, the teacher couldn't stand it anymore and said, I don't want children. The pupil said: I will be careful! "。

One day, while walking on the road, steamed bread suddenly had an accident and had a broken stomach. Before he died, he looked at his stomach and said, "Oh, I am just a bean paste bag."

The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces and played badminton.

Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four sections and plays mahjong.

Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.

Mother earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! "

Father earthworm said weakly ... I suddenly want to play football. "