A complete collection of short message humor jokes

According to modern humor theory, people who laugh together show that they have the same interests, which is the first step towards social succ

A complete collection of short message humor jokes

According to modern humor theory, people who laugh together show that they have the same interests, which is the first step towards social success, and it is also a crucial step. I collected some short messages and humorous jokes for you. Let's have a look.

Selected humorous jokes in short messages

1 Yesterday, my friend invited me to his dormitory to eat hot pot. After I went in, I saw a group of young men around a big washbasin with all kinds of hot pot ingredients and vegetables in it! It's still hot in the basin! Should I admire your creativity or courage?

I went to my brother's house yesterday and saw my little nephew, who has always been a good-tempered sister-in-law. When I asked the truth, I laughed hysterically. Sister-in-law came home early and saw a maddening scene: the little nephew took a dip in the living room and then fed it to the dog spoon by spoon for more than a month. The first thing my sister-in-law does when she comes home from work every day is to pick up the puppy and kiss it.

One day, on behalf of the unit, I went to the stage to receive the award, standing on the stage in high spirits and enjoying the scenery brought by the flash. Suddenly I found a colleague I knew pointing at me, as if to imply something. Is the medal upside down? I looked down. No, everything is fine. After stepping down, he passed by the buddy's position. He quietly said something that almost fainted on the spot: "Brother, your pants are not zipped." . . . . . . .

A beautiful mm got on the bus, took out a card and brushed it, only to hear a drip. . . . Old age card! The whole car was shocked and looked at her. MM said disgruntled, what are you looking at? Haven't you seen Tianshan Mu Tong?

I bought fruit at the fruit stand today and chatted with my colleagues about today's news. The aunt selling fruit asked, Who is Jobs? Colleague said: selling apples. Aunt said sadly, alas, the fruit business is not good.

At 6 o'clock in the morning, I waited at the bus stop. There is a man and a woman standing next to me. They talked affectionately. The woman suddenly said, "Do you have developed limbs?" The man said, "I have five legs, don't I?" ! "

There is a sign on the lawn of the park, which reads: "No trampling on the lawn, and offenders will be fined one yuan." A frequent visitor in the park found that the fine written on the sign was less than before and asked the service staff in the park, "Why is the fine reduced?" Didn't you need to pay a fine of five yuan before? "Waiter:" Nobody stepped on five pieces. "

Spending money is as simple as shit, and making money is as difficult as eating shit.

In high school, the Chinese teacher saw that the girl in front was sleepy and asked her to answer questions. After she stood up without saying a word, she stood for two minutes. The whole class was silent, and the teacher said helplessly, "Sit down." I saw this woman lying on the table immediately after she sat down. When class was over, the girl turned to me sleepily and said, "I dreamed that the teacher asked me to answer questions just now."

10 Today is MM's birthday. In order to be the first to send my blessing, I picked up my mobile phone on time early in the morning and sent a message: sofa.

1 1 When I was a child, my parents took me home. They caught me in the middle when I was walking? I sang "a chicken in my left hand and a duck in my right hand?" My dad stared at me and almost slapped me in the mouth. . . Who knows, my mother went on to sing, "Tell me to vomit blood at once." . . "There are toads in the middle, hey, hey, hey, hey ~" First-class teachers rely on personality charm, second-rate teachers rely on academics, third-rate teachers rely on questions, fourth-rate teachers rely on homework, fifth-rate teachers rely on roll call, and last-rate teachers rely on changing roll call methods. ...

12 A man met a beautiful woman online. I opened a room and did what I had to do. Lying down for a while, I found that she couldn't answer all the topics I talked about before. Wonder! Under his repeated threats, she finally told the truth: "It was actually my mother who talked to you before!" " Just when I was shocked, she went on to say, "I don't want my mother to find a handsome guy!" " I've been there, and my mother is embarrassed to ask for it! "

13 latest research by scientists, 100 men participated in the experiment. After drinking 20 bottles of beer, everyone becomes extremely talkative but lacks logic, prone to crying and irritability, impulsive, driving skills decline and weight gain. So scientists have come to the conclusion that beer contains trace amounts of estrogen!

14 I called you just now, and the voice prompt said: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is in the bathroom, please redial later! Then I dialed again, and it said, sorry, the subscriber you dialed has fallen into the toilet. Are you okay?

Classic SMS humorous jokes

1 The mouse is particularly depressed without a girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of foresight. Mouse: What do you know? She is at least a stewardess.

"A man and an anonymous person are sitting on the bus. When the bus arrived, a man accidentally dropped his cigarette when he got off. When anonymous saw it, he said, "Sir, you dropped your cigarette! The man is furious: You just got castrated! "Have a nice weekend!

Nine out of ten households in a residential area have installed security doors, but only one does not. One day, nine families were stolen together. Only the thief on the door without the security door wrote: don't worry about me, I will worry about you! Good Night!

4 "Come to my village, my village is relatively rich, communication basically depends on yelling, and traffic basically depends on walking. Farmland basically depends on cattle, lighting basically depends on oil, heating basically depends on shaking, getting rich basically depends on stealing, and beautiful women basically do not exist! "

5 female: twenty years old-football, twenty people grab it! Thirty years old-basketball, ten people grab it! Forty years old-table tennis, two people pushing around! Fifty years old-golf, play as far as you can.

One day, Xiaodong and Xiaoming went to play and saw a hole in the pants of the man in front. Xiaodong said: that man worked too hard and his pants were torn; Xiao Ming said: that man must often fart and burst his pants!

Your clothes are clean and environmentally friendly, your body is crystal clear and soft, your face is white and smooth, your heart is rich and colorful, your figure is symmetrical and angular, and your breath is fragrant. I like you.-Zongzi.

A family of three, the father called the robber, the mother called the kitchen knife and the son called the trouble. One day, his son suddenly disappeared, so his father took his mother to the public security bureau and told the police that I was a robber. I brought a kitchen knife to make trouble.

9 A I saw a man as soon as I closed my eyes. This is C, my mother, so it's you, stretching your neck, looking at hand G with EF smug expression and grinning HH.

10 If you are a mobile phone, I am your music card; If you are a fixed line, I am your receiver; If you are PHS, I will accompany you to roam, dear, let me be your eyes!

1 1: Mahjong Poker Golden Flower, lost home; Bottom line: the ancient road is thin and the west wind is thin, and the heartbroken people are in the end of the world.

12. "I'm looking for it! Keep looking! What am I looking for? I'm looking for dry food, water and legendary love! ! ! "You are as kind as a cat, as loyal as a dog, as lovely as a bird, as good as a butterfly, as diligent as a bee, and everything is the same. No wonder everyone ... calls you an animal! hahaha

13 full moon, doughnut, celestial circle, geosphere, reunion; Fortune, official, popularity, love, random life.

Newsletter humor jokes boutique

1 Wear someone else's shoes and find someone else's way! Let others not only can't find shoes, but also let him have no way to go!

Flowers are drunk and crying with leaves in their arms; The moon is tired and pulls a cloud to sleep; I miss you, drunk, tired of crying, heartbroken …

Without you, I'm too lazy to paint the mirror yellow. Without you, three meals are tasteless. Human nature is better than marriage, but I expect that we can be together every day.

Mom, despite your objection, I still can't forget him. I only have eyes for him. Silly boy, don't fall in love. We are mice, but he is a mouse!

The elephant saw a group of ants walking towards its home and asked the ants, What are you doing? The ant said that Aunt Elephant was ill. Let's donate blood!

The ant was walking in the forest and was stepped on by a snail. As a result, he went to the hospital. When the police asked, the ant said; It all happened so fast that I didn't realize it.

I want to accompany you to blow the wind, but I am afraid of rain. I want to go swimming with you, but I'm afraid of the envious eyes of others. I want to watch a movie with you, but I'm afraid of checking in. I said, no dogs.

There are fewer and fewer contemporary societies: too much talk, too little money at home, too few beautiful clothes, too few ideas, too little success, too much work, too few friends and too few guests. May you be happy.

Xiao Lv said to mother donkey, "Mom, someone sent me a harassing message. Can I come back? " Mother Donkey said, "Only pigs will come back. If it is a donkey, we will not return. "

10 bent on winning money, his eyes were red, his food was tasteless, his limbs were weak, he abandoned five jobs, his six relatives were hard to recognize, he was so angry that he was in debt in all directions and was stuck in the mire for nine years. It was a disaster.

Please call my mobile phone number 1 1: Talk about work, feelings, life, introduce something to me, press #, invite me to dinner, tell me directly, borrow money from me, please hang up!

12 You gently lean on me, your slender hands touch my tender skin, and your gentle mouth sucks my body fluids until you are satisfied and float away! Oh, damn mosquitoes

13 Yesterday you went to the mountain to play and met a wild boar to eat you. At this critical moment, you shouted: Mom. The wild boar is stupefied: Baby, don't run around in the future. Look how thin you are.