Ultrashort joke

What's my brother's name?

Q: What's the name of Dumbledore's brother? He has two younger brothers. One is Dumbledore and Dumbledore just right!

But I care about my reputation.

My face was scratched by my half-year-old daughter, and my wife frequently urged me to go to the hospital. I said, "I don't care about this injury." The wife said, "But I care about my reputation."

Not even a dog.

I had a quarrel with my wife this morning, and she ignored me in anger. 12 It's almost noon. I'm so hungry. Seeing that my wife hasn't cooked yet, I wrote a note "I'm hungry" and asked the dog to send it to her. After waiting for a while, nothing happened. I quietly went to the living room to have a look. I saw my wife eating ham sausage while feeding the dog, chanting "I know you are hungry." Eat more. "

It turned out to be husband and wife.

I have 1800 yuan in my wallet. The wife saw it and said, "Let me mend it for you." I said yes, and then she took 800. ......

Not you.

On his wife's birthday, after putting the birthday candles away, she made a wish first, then smiled at her daughter and asked, "What did you wish for your mother?" The daughter scratched the back of her head and said, "I wish your daughter the longer and more beautiful."

Son, it's the same.

Dad takes his son to the zoo. They saw many zebras. He asked, "Dad, are zebras animals with black stripes or black animals with white stripes?"

refreshing

It's hot recently, so it's easy to get sleepy in class. My deskmate taught me a trick, saying that if you take off your shoes at ordinary times, your feet will be cold and refreshed. So I did it, and then, our whole class was refreshed. ...

Not at all.

"Classmate, what major did you study?" "the law." "Oh, what career are you going to choose in the future?" "Master."

Local drama evolved from two-person duet to new one.

I went to physical education class and practiced spinning for a while. The PE teacher found that a man and a woman failed to spin, so she called them in and trained alone. After practicing for a while, some students said, why is it a bit like a duet?

The rhythm of urine scare.

Several friends went to drink at night, and in the middle of it, a man climbed out from under the tablecloth. He was so scared that the table was full of words, only to hear his brother say, "Don't be afraid, he drank too much at noon and didn't leave." You continue ... "

You are too enthusiastic.

Before I pay for something, I will never forget to ask, "Is this really a loss?" Boss: "Absolutely lose money! Sell one thing and lose one. " Me: "Brother, it's not easy for you. I'd better not buy it."

At least I will choose one of them.

Workers from several construction companies have dinner together. One of them asked, "Big Brother heard that your company can drive!" Big brother said, "I won't!" " Everyone: "Why?" Big Brother: "Because I like drinking, I quit my car to drink!" " "

Before others die, die yourself.

Officer: "I'll go first. Remember to stomp when burying mines! " Soldier: "Why, sir?" "Officer:" If you don't step on the ground, you won't waste time if you are found! Soldier: "The boss is the boss. What experience! "

What does that word mean?

My deskmate is the best. One day, I gave her a crossword puzzle It hurts to read something together, but it's cool to read it separately. Unexpectedly, she said, "I knew about biting two years ago."

The era of gay love

Fan took a bath in a public bathhouse and had a very unpleasant experience. After returning home, he wrote regretfully in the memo: "Don't pick up the soap." The next day, Fan went to take a bath again and had a very unpleasant experience. After returning home, he added a sentence at the back of yesterday's memo: "When you see Jing M.Guo, don't shake hands with him."

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