Funny jokes about 520

1. How many people use sweet words to deceive others on Valentine’s Day, and how many men and women use joking as an excuse to tell the truth on April Fool’s Day. 2. You ignore me now, but you won’t be able to reach me in the future. 3. I am a girl, and all three of my ex-boyfriends came out after they broke up with me. Two of them announced that they were together on May 20th. My friends nicknamed me "Wan Chai Pier" 4. God is very fair. He allows you to celebrate Singles' Day, but will not let you celebrate Valentine's Day. 5. Confession on Valentine’s Day, Confession on April Fool’s Day, Confession on Singles’ Day, but kids, there are only two types of people in the world: those who can get a confession at any time, and those who will be rejected at any time. It has nothing to do with time. 6. I plan to rent two children and walk on the road on Valentine's Day. When I meet a boy, I will call him dad, and when I meet a girl, I will call her mom. If I can break up a couple, I won't be celebrating Valentine's Day anyway. 7. I had a quarrel with my girlfriend and wanted to make up, but she ignored me, so I transferred 520 yuan to her via Alipay, and then another 1,314 yuan. Soon she sent a message: If you are sincere, don’t say the same sentence twice. 8. On Valentine’s Day, I will play Lianliankan all day long to eliminate a pair or a pair. 9. I don’t believe in 520 because no one Even if you spend time with me, you won’t receive any gifts. I only believe in 502. One drop lasts forever, three seconds is enough, and we will never be separated! Wanting to separate will make you peel off your skin. 10. It’s Valentine’s Day and you are afraid that your partner will be snatched away if you are too handsome? If it were me, I'd be ugly. 11. Today is 520. I am the first to talk about my ugliness and my beauty first. 12. If you are too far apart, you will lose it; if you are too close, you will lose it too. If you don't care too much, you will lose; if you care too much, you will lose too. 13. A boring life. I live a boring life like this every day. 14. The person I love has his own name, and the person who loves me is miserable. He either becomes bad in debauchery or becomes perverted in silence. 15. There is a buddy next to me who is still single at 30 years old. After drinking too much today, he stammered: He searched for her thousands of times in his dream, but when he looked back, she was there changing diapers. 16. We don’t have a date on Valentine’s Day, and we don’t have anyone to confess to on April Fool’s Day. It’s better to have someone to worship on Qingming Festival. 17. Are you afraid that your partner will be snatched away on Valentine’s Day if he is too handsome? Don't look at me, it's useless to look at me, I'm more handsome than him. 18. Are you short of light bulbs for Valentine’s Day? The kind of person who sits and eats without talking is super cute. Especially if you contact me when you go to a high-end restaurant, I can also help you take photos. I am also good at photoshop. 19. This is reality, just go to bed and don’t wait to express your feelings. If you don’t have one on April Fool’s Day, what do you expect? 20.520 I rent it out: be a light bulb: 50, take the blame: 500, answer the phone and lie: 20, accompany you to eat: 100, accompany you shopping: 2000, accompany you to watch the moon: 50, accompany you on the road: 88. 21. Everyone is looking forward to 520! In fact, the meaning of 520 is that the relationship between 5 minutes and the affairs between two people will be equal to 0 in the end. 22. Don’t ask me how I am spending this Valentine’s Day this year. I really want to skip it, skip it, and muddle along, but I still cowardly admit that I am only sad. 23. I feel that not only did you secretly complete your homework behind my back, but you also secretly found a partner before Valentine’s Day. You are all liars. 24. I saw a dermatologist today. After looking at my hands, he said: You need to find a girlfriend! Damn, can you tell this? I lowered my head deeply! He then said: What are you sorry for? ? Your hands cannot come into contact with alkaline products, such as washing powder and laundry detergent. You need to find a girlfriend to wash clothes! Can you still talk properly? 25. I miss my boyfriend so much, and I don’t know if he eats. No, what are you doing, how old are you, where are you from, are you handsome or not, Valentine’s Day is almost here and you haven’t come to me yet.

26. Regarding today's "Confession Day", the biggest difference between Diaosi and Gao Fushuai is: Diaosi can only complete the first two-thirds, but Gao Fushuai can easily complete the last two-thirds. 27. My room is filled with Valentine’s Day gifts. I’m not rich and handsome, I’m just a lazy courier. 28. Today is 520. Why don’t we exchange gifts! Okay~? ?Well, from today on, you are mine and I am yours. ? 29. Valentine's Day is coming, and I am alone again. Am I destined to be alone all my life? 30. My friend asked me how I would spend Valentine's Day, and I said lightly: "Skip it."