Tell a new joke

1 The white rabbit was walking in the forest. When the wolf came up, he gave the white rabbit two big ear stickers and said, "I told you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit left very grievance.

The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I told you to wear a hat."

Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.

After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." On the same day, the tiger found his partner wolf. "It is wrong for you to do so. This is very difficult for me. " Then he wiped the dust off the table: "Do you think this will work?" You can say, Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can hit her. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart.

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat." Tutu said, "So, do you want to be fat or thin?" The wolf listened, his heart sank and he was happy again. He said, fortunately, there is a plan B. He added, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tutu asked, "So, do you like plump or slim?" The wolf was silent for 2 seconds and raised his hand to give Tutu two big ear stickers. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat."

2. A friend of mine.

He said, let's go! Please go swimming!

I said: no!

He said: Why?

I said: The water is so dirty that they all pee in it.

He said, then we pee in it, too!

I said, no.

Then he went by himself.

Call me after playing for less than half an hour. Give me 300 yuan. I got caught peeing.

I said, why would anyone arrest me?

He said: people pee in the water and I pee on the platform.

The next day, I had no face to sneak in again. Call me again in half an hour.

Say: Give me that 300 yuan, I was caught peeing again.

I said, I caught it again.

He said: Don't mention it. I pee in the water. Yesterday, I was fined 300 yuan and was ignited. There is a yellow line when I pee!

On the third day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

Say: Give me that 300 yuan, I was caught peeing again.

I said, I caught it again.

He said, forget it. I caught a cold yesterday and took a shit when I peed.

On the fourth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

Say: Give me that 300 yuan, I was caught peeing again.

I said, I caught it again.

He said: Don't mention it, I saw a super hot beauty today. When she peed, she actually brought out a white sticky substance.

On the fifth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

Say, give me 300 yuan.

I said, I caught it again.

He said, forget it. I peed so much that the whole pool overflowed.

Me: ...

On the sixth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

Say, give me 300 yuan.

I said, I caught it again.

He said, don't mention it. People are scared away when I come.

Me: ...

On the seventh day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

Say, give me 300 yuan.

I said, I caught it again.

He said: when I came, everyone in the swimming pool peed.

Me: ...

On the eighth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

Say, give me 300 yuan.

I said, I caught it again.

He said, forget it. When I came, the manager was scared to pee.

Me: ...

On the ninth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

Say, give me 300 yuan.

I said, I caught it again.

He said, forget it. I can't pee. People won't let me go.

Me: ...

On the tenth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

Say, give me 300 yuan.

I said, I caught it again.

He said: don't mention it, I haven't peed yet. If people look at me again, they will be fined 300 yuan first.