Shanghai jokes about coffee

1. A classic joke about men and women quarreling. Man: "Are you still angry?" Woman: "Give me a box of ice cream and you may not be angry." Man: "Still breaking up?" Woman: "If you don't give me the apple, you may break up." Man: "Can we stop quarreling next time?" Woman: "Then you have to give me another pack of spicy strips!" " "

2. At the parent-teacher conference. Teacher's words: children should respect their parents, and parents should first teach their children to respect their teachers, so that teachers can teach their children to respect their parents. Parents' Notes: Children should respect teachers, and teachers should not say that children are stupid pigs at first. Children will think their parents are stupid (because they are pig parents), so they will not respect their parents, and their parents will not teach them to respect their teachers.

3. A couple's funny jokes. A couple were reading a book together in a coffee shop, and the man began to hum along with the long music. Woman: "Hey, has anyone ever said that you sing well?" Male: "No" Female: "No, don't sing!" "A couple was watching the dance in the ballroom, and her husband said with emotion: This world is really strange. All beautiful women marry ugly people, and every ugly fool has a beautiful wife.

One day, my boyfriend came to meet me at the subway station on a motorcycle. I deliberately asked: "Master, how much is it to the garden community?" The boyfriend said, "No money, just give me a kiss." So I kissed him and got in his car. A "motorcycle" master next to me was stupid and kindly reminded me: "Little girl, don't be fooled!"

It happened the night before. I quarreled with him. It was entirely my fault. I went back to my room after the quarrel. He went to take a shower. He went back to his room after taking a shower, and I pretended to be asleep with my cell phone and a song in my hand. He immediately picked up my mobile phone and turned off the music. He fell down and hugged me and cried. Then I pretended to wake up and asked me why I was crying. He said, I made you angry.

6. My girlfriend throws things away as soon as she quarrels with me. Some time ago, she broke my new local gold mobile phone, so I had to exchange it for a new one. The new one is good. They never break anything.

7. Once I was watching If You Are the One with him, he suddenly turned around and said happily, "Why don't we sign up for this program?" I said you are tired of living? Want to dump me? Then he said, "No, if we are on the show together, you choose me and I choose you!" " When I asked why, the little bastard replied, "So we can enjoy a free trip for two!" " ! " "

8. In the forties and fifties or earlier, the names were generally very rustic and funny, such as dog odor, dung fork, dog shit, rotten eggs and so on. There is a name that is even more ridiculous. Several brothers are called "bastard" one after another, the eldest is called bastard, the second is called bastard, and the third is called Dan, so the family is connected into one sentence. Listening to these names is actually very domineering and loud!