New year's day drama jokes

Characters: the queen soldier, the magic mirror, Snow White, the narrative of the four dwarfs and the prince.

First act

Narrator: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful castle, where an unattractive queen lived.

Queen (to the magic mirror): Who is the most beautiful person in the world?

Mirror (yawning): Are you tired of asking this question?

Queen (please): Magic mirror. Is there anyone more beautiful than me in the world?

Mirror: No!

The queen laughed hysterically. ...

Narrator: Later, Snow White was born. Her skin is so white as a newborn pig.

Queen (to the mirror): Mirror, who is the most beautiful person in the world?

Mirror (warily): Stop it!

Queen (angrily): Say it!

Mirror (please): I said you would kill me. My ancestors died because of this.

Queen (firmly): Don't worry, I won't hit you!

Mirror (excitedly): Snow White, Snow White.

Queen (coldly): What?

Mirror: Calm down.

Queen: The queen is very angry, and the consequences are very serious! (waving his arm): I want to summon a soldier. Change, change, change ...

(The soldier ran out from behind the door)

Soldier: Report.

Queen (surprised): Ah! I didn't think I could become a living person!

Mirror (lazily): That's how I changed it.

Queen (more surprised): Impossible. (turning over the book): This function is not included in the manual.

Mirror: I'll tell you. Hide a person behind the door first, then call him out.

Queen (nodding): I see. (To the soldier): Soldier, I have a task for you. Today. Assassinate Snow White.

Soldier (anxiously): Not today. Today is the promotion of the cover in the cover. Buy six and get one free. I have to run!

Queen (suddenly enlighted): Yes, I'm leaving, too! Then you will assassinate Snow White tomorrow.

Soldier: OK!

Act ii

Narrator: When the soldier saw the beautiful Snow White, he was fascinated at once.

Soldier (smirking): Hey, Princess, I'll take you to the forest to see the little goldfish.

Bai Xue (smiling): OK.

Narrator: The soldiers took the princess into the forest.

Snow White (calmly): You have come to kill me, right?

Soldier (crying): What a beautiful and kind princess. Woo … let's find a pig and kill it.

Snow White: That's not good.

Soldier: That's right. Oh, that's an insult to the pig.

Narrator: In this way, the soldiers let the beautiful Snow White go.

Act iii

Narrator: Snow White walked and walked, and finally collapsed under a big tree.

Snow White (wakes up): Why am I moving? Something seems to be dragging me away.

Dwarf 1: Really, we dragged you away, and you said something sarcastic.

Snow White (strangely): Who are you?

Dwarfs (in turn): rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea! We are seven brothers in the kitchen.

Narrator: The dwarf brought Snow White home. From then on, the dwarf and Snow White lived together. At the same time, the queen asked the magic mirror again.

Queen (proudly): Who is the most beautiful person in the world?

Mirror: Snow White, Snow White.

Queen (angrily): What's the matter?

Magic mirror: step by step, always the best!

Queen: What's this?

Mirror image: advertising! Now it's a wonderful replay.

Queen (furious): Damn it! I want to do it myself!

Act IV

Narrator: The Queen and the soldiers set off. They came to the home of seven brothers, in the kitchen.

The queen knocks: knock, knock, knock.

Dwarf 2 (opening the door): Who is it?

Queen: I'm ... I'm checking the accounts.

Dwarf 2: Check the household registration? I've heard of it.

Queen: How many people are there in your party?

Dwarf 2: 7, Snow White 8.

Queen: How do you make money?

Dwarf 2: We spent seven mornings hunting, leaving Snow White to cook at home.

Queen: Well, the investigation is over.

Narrator: The next morning, the dwarf had gone out, and the queen came again with the soldiers.

Queen (holding an apple): Hello!

Snow White: Hello, what do you do?

Queen: I ... sell apples.

Bai Xue (strangely): This apple is nothing special.

Empress (diligent): This apple can detoxify, beautify, clear away heat and relieve cough, and prevent stomach acid, stomachache and abdominal distension.

Snow White: Then what's its name?

Queen (dumbfounded): yes ... it's called the big apple.

Snow White: What a vulgar name.

Queen: Would you like to have a taste?

Bai Xue (hesitantly): My mother told me not to eat strangers' food.

Queen (smirking): Soldier, go!

The soldier knocked Snow White unconscious, and the queen took the opportunity to put the apple in.

Queen: Done!

Narrator: In the evening, the dwarfs came back and saw the stunned snow.

Dwarf 3: Look! She seems to be choking on an apple.

Dwarf 1: impossible, just like being knocked unconscious and then choking to death.

Dwarf 3; Anyway, throw her in the trash can first, let's all have some melatonin, have a good sleep and bury her at the foot of the mountain tomorrow.

Dwarf (chorus): Good!

Act IV

Narrator: The dwarfs dragged Snow White down the mountain. On the way, they met the prince.

Prince: What are you doing?

Dwarf 4: Drag her down the mountain.

Why did you drag her down the mountain?

Dwarf 4: Because she is dead.

Prince: Why did she die?

Dwarf 4: She choked on an apple.

Prince: Why did she choke on an apple?

Dwarf 4: Because she was knocked unconscious.

"Why was she knocked out by the prince?

Dwarf (impatiently): I don't know

Prince (obsessively): How beautiful!

Dwarf 4: You mean her?

Prince (shaking his head): I mean clothes. What a nice dress. It's ruined.

Snow White (getting up): What did you say?

Dwarf Prince (exclaiming): You're not dead?

Snow White: I woke up when I heard someone speak ill of me.

Narrator: Since then, Snow White and the prince have been married for one hundred years. At the same time, the queen asked the magic mirror again.

Queen (proudly): Who is the most beautiful person in the world?

Mirror: Snow White, Snow White.

Queen (gnashing her teeth): How?

Mirror: There is justice in the world. You must be kind. Or I don't do it, I'll do my best. A better life.

Queen: Advertising again!

Mirror: Please watch the wonderful playback!

Queen (after seeing it): Damn it. (smashing into the magic mirror): I smashed it. I screwed up. ...

The mirror disappeared screaming. ...

An answer to the curtain call