Five best misunderstandings and jokes in history

Five best misunderstandings and jokes in history

Myth 1: Work overtime today. The female colleague brought a bag of milk and heated it on the water heater. My male colleague is going to turn on the water. Female colleague whispered: Do you feel my milk is hot? Male colleagues say there are many people, while female colleagues say it doesn't matter. Touching is not for you to drink.

Myth 2: A private enterprise leader couldn't find his second son in the unit, and happened to meet the female finance manager, so he asked: Have you seen my second son? The manager blushed and whispered, I've always wanted to see it, but you didn't give me a chance.

Myth 3: the leader is on a business trip and is in the soft sleeper with the female secretary. In the evening, the leader asked: What time is it? Secretary: Ten o'clock. The leader asked again: Is it a whole? Female secretary: It's too early, others haven't slept yet! The leader asked: I asked is it ten o'clock sharp? Female secretary: Don't worry, bear with it until eleven o'clock.

Myth 4: Men and women are blind date, sitting opposite a teahouse, and the man takes the initiative to stir up the topic: What do you think of the housing market? The woman bowed her head and was silent for a while: as long as the posture is not too weird, I will try my best to cooperate, but I must shout it out.

Myth 5: Gay men study business in the city where female students work, and female students stay in hotels. Talking about personal income, the man asked the woman: How much do you pay after tax? The woman's face turned red and she was weak. She replied: what is the money for classmates to sleep? Even if I go to bed today, I will treat you!

The old farmer went to the city to buy new year's goods. When he first entered the city, he saw the billboard saying: Apple, the special price is 4580. The old man was surprised. He thinks he is wrong. He walked on and saw another billboard, Xiaomi, 2299. The old man thought, liar? Walking on, I suddenly saw another sign saying, Chili, as long as 998. The old farmer had no choice. He picked up the phone and called his son: son, come back and farm quickly. Are we rich?

My girlfriend wants to surf the Internet and asks me what the power-on password is. I replied, "Your birthday. ? She stopped and turned around. After a while, she asked, "Is it a lunar calendar or a solar calendar? What's the matter? I pushed her away and walked in: Ni Shengri showed off in an ostentatious manner on the keyboard.

A leftover woman sent Weibo: I have been a monkey for more than 20 years and have never met my master. I request that it be taken away. Then a friend replied at the bottom: You are not the essence?

The couple were shopping, and the wife took a fancy to some clothes and wanted to buy them. Seeing this posture, my husband insisted on spending a lot of money and asked, "I didn't say I was just going shopping. How can I really buy it?" ? The wife said angrily, "Who said it was just a hug last night? But what about the result?

I asked grandpa how he knew grandma. Grandpa bowed his head and thought about it. A blind man introduced him?

The son asked his father, "Dad, why don't I have any brothers or sisters?" Dad, who was reading a newspaper, was angry and growled, "Who told you not to go to bed early every day?" ! ?

Once upon a time, there was an old woman who went to town with her grandson and had never seen a bicycle. At this time, she saw a man riding a bicycle, and his clothes were a little long, blocking the seat. The grandson asked his grandmother, "Grandma, you said it was so thick. Doesn't it hurt to put an iron pipe in your ass? " Grandma: "silly boy, why doesn't it hurt?" Didn't you see him kicking around in pain? " ?

1, I was working at the railway station, and once an old lady came to ask for directions: Young man, which way is the bus to Hainan? I felt that the old lady was inconvenient to move, so I helped her out of the VIP room and put the old man on the train to Hainan. The next day, the old man's children waited at Shanghai South Railway Station all day, but no one answered?

I have an idiot friend who found a mobile phone with a note on it? If I drop my mobile phone one day, please return it. Thank you very much. My number is 139. As a result, my friend has been on the phone for two days in a row. He came to tell me that I seemed to understand something after listening. What two wonderful things!

3. On the bus, a young woman took a nap with her seemingly 5 or 6-year-old son in her arms, and then her period seemed to come, with a lot of blood and a lot of seats. I found it when I got off the bus. I think I'm embarrassed. Suddenly, I shouted? Baby, hold on! We're going to the hospital. Hang in there, okay? I rushed out of the car with my son in my arms.

I am the operator of 1 19, and I want to share a conversation:

? Is it 1 10?

? No, old man. Is this 1 19?

? Oh, I want to find the fire alarm.

? Call us for the fire alarm, old man. What happened?

? I don't know where my dad got angry. He's crazy. I can't cure him! ?

? This? In this case, it is best to find 1 10.

? He lit the quilt.

5. I am a senior three student with bad work. I'm under a lot of pressure, taking a big risk for puppy love? Once it rained, my little girlfriend said it was cold, so she took off her coat and lent it to her. After a week, she took it back and took it home without looking. The next day, my mother washed my clothes and found two menstrual towels in her pocket. I'm blue in the face, and my mother's face is black! !

6. There is a male classmate named Zhao Shuchao in my class. On a class quiz, this classmate was in a daze, and the teacher shouted: Zhao Shuchao! The whole class took the book out of the drawer, put it on the table and copied it in 5 seconds. ............

7. Watching TV with my boyfriend, the heroine got leukemia in the play, and the hero never left. I asked affectedly: I'm going to have leukemia. Will you leave me? The boyfriend said firmly:? No? Why? Not for a few days anyway. ?

8. The happiest thing every day is to watch my wife hit her face with lotion in the morning. Hey? ,? Hey? ,? Hey? That's cool. I meditate while listening? I told you to let me wash my socks, let me pick up the children, let me not drink, let me not play games, fight, fight, fight hard! ?

9. I saw the worst state this morning: I broke up with her ten years ago and got married five years ago.

My son came into this world three years ago. Half a year ago, she came to me and said that her husband was infertile and wanted to borrow some seeds from me.

After several months of hard work, I was diagnosed as infertile last week.

10, in the park, a little girl is reciting ancient poems, only listening to her read: At noon on the day of weeding, the mine was buried with soil, and my father went over and fried it to 250. . ?

12, going to work by car, a little loli and her father came up at one stop, and just sat down, loli said: Barbie, why do my neighbors say that I look like my uncle instead of you? Dad came to a sentence:? When your uncle's baby grows up, some people will say it looks like dad.

13, a classmate in the class is very naughty. When he was in class, he accidentally broke the glass. The teacher was very angry and asked him what was wrong. The goods argued that he didn't touch the window, but the glass broke when he looked at it. As a result, this product was left in class by the teacher at noon to look at another piece of glass. If it isn't broken, he can't go home for dinner.

14, A: Girls in China love ice cream. What do Japanese girls like to eat?

B: Mosaic.