Laugh and laugh.

Naively said: Ma Ma, what are we doing here?

Ma Ma: Injection ~

Zheng Tai: Why do you need an injection? Did the needle do something wrong? Doesn't the injection hurt?

Five minutes later, Zheng Tai began to growl: this is a needle hitting me ~ this is a needle hitting me …

A child was playing while eating baked sausages on the roadside and accidentally dropped them. Passers-by comforted him and said, take a bath for your intestines!

My daughter in primary school tested me on ten questions, all of which were wrong. What a pity! One of the questions is, which three animals add up to the highest? I said: elephants, giraffes, Yao Ming. Daughter says people don't count. I said that with the boa constrictor, these three species stand very high. The standard answer turns out to be: pig, female wolf, wasp. Connected are mother pig, wolf and wasp-Mount Everest!

I had a dream this morning, in which some friends and I were kidnapped. When everyone was thinking about how to get out, the alarm clock rang. I got up to get dressed. It suddenly occurred to me that if I slip away, will the rest of my buddies be killed? Brothers are like brothers. I can't leave my brothers, so I lie down and sleep. ...

Gourmet netizen status: I have spent a lot of money these days and accidentally used up my living expenses. However, there are still more than 20 days before the end of the month. I'm going to curry favor with my father and make noodles for my family for breakfast in the morning. My father looked at me warily with chopsticks and asked, How much is this bowl?

My buddy's screen name is "Because the egg hurts", and then when he logs off, the system prompts me that your friend is logged off because of the egg pain.

In summer, the situation on campus is basically: girls wear nightclubs and boys wear migrant workers' clothes. . . Schools with more girls follow the kiln in summer, and schools with more boys follow the men's bathhouse in summer!

I'm going to fix my headphones today. After customer service MM unplugged my ear, I felt the sound quality was much better ~

On the bus, a young mother took two little girls with her. As soon as I got on the bus, the two little girls have been talking in Barabara. Very cute. One of them said, "If I had magic, I would turn my parents into monsters." I was wondering how this little girl looks so cute, only to hear the little girl say, "Then I'll catch the Tang Priest and give it to them, and they won't be old.

"Mom, I'll borrow 2000 silver for the time being." "What's the use?" "Kill people." "What? ! Who! ? ""Your grandson! "

The mother taught her daughter: "Choosing a spouse is a lifelong event, and you should pay more attention." . Look at your dad, he can fix everything: cars, home appliances and faucets are all fixed by himself, even if the wardrobe is broken, he can fix it himself ... My daughter interrupted me, "I see." "Understand your sister, if you also find a husband like your dad, you don't want to use new things for the rest of your life. . . "

"Brother, please do something." My younger brother was confused and dragged into the house by my sister. My sister blushed and said, "Brother, help me give this love letter to your deskmate." When I arrived at school the next morning, my brother gave the pink letter to my deskmate, and my hand under the desk was pulled in class. The younger brother glanced at his deskmate in surprise, blushed at him and whispered, "I like you, too."

A group of engineering male discussed their graduation trip, so they talked about Fenghuang and Shen Congwen in western Hunan and his border town. At this time, some idiot said with a puzzled face, "Nani, can Shen Congwen still say C?" my God ...

Bored during recess, playing with questions. Who is Shixian? A: Li Bai. Who is the poet saint? A: Du Fu. What about Shi Gui? A: Li He. Where's the poetry king? Everyone was silent ... a passerby blurted out: Simba!

If a girl is suddenly enthusiastic about you, congratulations ... She must have computer problems, or have difficulty writing a paper, or her resume needs to be revised ... In short, you are a good person ~ ~

A netizen wrote on the glutton: When I was a child, whenever I caught a cold, my mother would make me a cup of coffee. She said softly, "Foreigners are always like this." But I am always afraid of the taste of coffee, so is life. Now I have traveled all over the Taiwan Strait, Shanghai Island and Starbucks, but I can't see the brand I drank when I was a child. I still vaguely remember that it has a very foreign name: Banlangen!

Xiaoming was dumped by his girlfriend and was heartbroken. My friend comforted me and said, forget it, forget her, it's no big deal! Xiaoming cried: I can't forget it. I bought her a lot of things, all on installment. WTF……

Our company has a Gao Fushuai, a farm with a fixed high income, a Scottish shepherd to look after the farm, a witch to look after the farm, a 10 Ferrari sports car and several slaves. I'm valuable, too. I have my own restaurant and supermarket, which is also a high income. However, since his QQ was stolen, he has nothing. ...

Zhan Zhao told Mahan his heroic story: "I went to Xiaoyao Building that day and got important information, but I was caught in the office by mistake and was seriously injured. I vigorously transported a mouthful of true qi and supported it to Kaifeng. Suddenly, Mahan laughed and asked with concern, "Did you faint?" Zhan Zhao: "No, it's Lord Bao coming out.